Saturday, November 22, 2014

Sunshiny thoughts are good! What's wrong with that? Perhaps your RNAs are too negative in your #depression

When you are dealing a serious mental health condition, especially depression, your mind drones on and on in a negative spiral down to hurt and pain. I know. Been there, done that and got a T-shirt.

But let me use my DOCTORATE in molecular genetics and TELL you that most mental health conditions eventually affect your brain chemistry. YOUR BRAIN IS AN ORGAN TOO AND IT GETS SICK!
What happens with the negative droning thoughts is your RNA in your brain moves and aggregates that sits on your brain cells that think with emotion and sits on top of the cells choking out the healthy RNA.

It's the whole reason why Lithium works.

So, if you choose to manage your mental health condition in the absence of conventional treatments, one way to work through when your brain isn't a cloud is to be ALL POSITIVE!

Positive thinking along with meditation requires writing only in the positive. For some reason social media coding causes depression because there's a differential on how our brains process the coding. A combination of puzzle solutions, with learning behaviors, thought processes that lack emotion and creativity but it taps that center...

I learned that when I refrain from the words, "No" and "Not"  anything in the negative, then my mood improves.

When take a reflective moment using environmental music, they my mood will improve.

When I'm flooded, I need to log off.

But reading depression posts are not fun for me because I get sick. However, the people writing them need to do that and I just want to say that there is another way. If it works for you, great, you have another tool in your arsenal. But if my process fails for you, then there are other GOOD opportunities and tools you can us.

I just want to say, keep writing if you have to, but like others say, I am with you. :)

Sunday, November 9, 2014

This Is What I Mean When I Say 'White Feminism' << Black Women's Mental Health Perspective

From Blog (x)

This Is What I Mean When I Say 'White Feminism'

1) This is a really good article and I wish I had known about it when it was first posted. The image is exceptional and while it may require revision, the utaamawazo is set. (Marimba Ani)

2) What I think this article says about Black Women's Mental Health Care directly aligns of cultural competency. Most therapists who treat women, are NOT BLACK unless you are VERY LUCKY to find one and/or be assigned one by your health insurance.

That said, say you, as a Black Woman deal with work stress related to White Supremacy and White Privilege, then ADD the complex layer of dealing with a complex mental health condition, like bipolar, how much of the episode is related to the pathology of stress, bigotry and sexism, and the biology of bipolar?

See because when you're bipolar, if you want to stop trying to commit suicide and stop winding up in a mental hospital or worse (prison), then you have to make HUGE LIFESTYLE changes, that include therapy, diet, sleep patterns, mindfulness, motivation, and loved one support, etc. That is if you don't want to DIE due to suicide. That ALONE is a MEDICAL reason that bigotry and privilege HAVE NO PLACE in mental health care.

But when you don't know you are "white privileged", you do not know. A cognitive dissonance.

The most RECENT case I give is a white man had the audacity to force me to get out of line to purchase a movie ticket when I was ahead of him.

Aside that I made an error in READING the movie I wanted to see time, and the theater ticket seller was attempting to assist me and my cousin, this fool thinks he can speak to me in that manner. I was in MY home community which is becoming more diverse with Chinese, Southeast Asian and Eastern European. And this FOOL thought I was inappropriate.

Well, if I wanted to buy into his small mind, I KNOW (some) KARATE, and I am also CRAZY! If I punched him, who'd go to jail? Me.

So when I talked to my therapist about it, while she understood and was compassionate about the racism and sexism that was inflicted upon me, she did not GET how much it pained me inside and eats at my very soul with a historical context...and I remember the look on her eyes that she did not know WHAT to say. I also know that they don't teach that in social worker's school. It takes a cultural competence to have the euphemistic commentary brush off the pain even if it is a temporary band-aid, like "Just one less person to think about at Christmastime"...

A Black Woman therapist would say the commentary if they understood it... I have yet to meet a Black Woman therapist that is clueless about her culture. Social Worker school is a PRIVILEGED MISOGYNISTIC HELL and so are the exams. So there is a level of understanding what kind of plantation you are on, just LONG enough to get your degrees and then a reputable job.

Like my Ph.D. education in molecular genetics, burn out is high, then complex it with patient load while staying compliant.

3) While this article is mainly a sociological one, it has to be applied healthcare-wise because there are a number of WoC's that do suffer from mental health conditions, and there is a cultural competence based on certain amount of identification acceptance - i.e. if the woman has anxiety and she is biracial where her father is white, and the woman chooses to accept her mother's ethnicity, knowing what her father is, it makes it some way to find treatment. But in healthcare, there needs to be studies and guess what? NO STUDIES! :) Or nothing significant. THEN is it healthy AND then we are not monolithic.

4) I do know as a patient, that understanding the BIOMEDICAL issue(s) of mental health condition(s), that therapy design to ADDRESS that alone based on the symptoms I report to my provider CAN BE TREATED! At minimum, that is what ALL people should expect with these mental health conditions.

5) All this to say, while there is White Feminism and it can impede OPTIMAL mental health care, the way to redirect treatment is to demand that the condition be treated as the biomedical indications - try to understand WHY they hand you books and papers.

Sunday, September 14, 2014


Lead image for the article
This Seattle Times article is misleading. 

The title is:

Race and police: Four Seattle-area families share concerns post-Ferguson

The shooting of an unarmed black teen by a police officer in Ferguson, Mo., highlights the concerns of parents of African-American and mixed-race youths. Four area families speak with The Seattle Times about their concerns.

Seattle Times staff reporter

When you read the article as an informed and intelligent Seattleite, your thinking easily would lead you, to believe, "are the police in my area aggressive toward Black children"?
Based on many discussions on Facebook and Black Twitter, this article would be read with great enthusiasm.
"Keep your hands in view. Don’t make any sudden moves. Don’t reach into your pockets, or for the glove compartment. Even if you’re in the right, save that argument for another day — to ensure that another day will come."

However, the families interviews are NO REPRESENTATION OF WHAT HAPPENED IN FERGUSON, MO. It's as if, Seattle Times got their news from the Fox News Channel with Don Lemon and just used that as their background research.

Sure, there are anecdotal stories glossed over about the microaggressions encountered in Seattle. Based on these family's interviews they have encountered microaggressions from bigots, or own people and colorism, and ignorant people.  However, in a White Supremacist system, one never knows who will say and do bigoted stuff and this article missed that fact or just did not care, which makes the article a microaggression.

And the imagery used for this entire article shows exactly why I HATE SEATTLE!

I can't move, I can't live anywhere else without my husband. My husband is doing well here. I have no friends, no life, and huge worries about fools harassing me due to microagressions, like the oxygen thief that pushed me out of the movie line when I was deciding a movie this year...

This article does not speak to what is going on and the consensus of thought behind what happened in Ferguson. What this article does is paint a false picture of our rosiness in Seattle.

1) The multiethic, one black parent theme displayed with biracial children automatically suggests privilege. These people don't live in a racially charged environment, like Ferguson that made it's money off of tickets and fines on Black people who they caught, which suggests a targeting. And individuals who were targeted were ALWAYS on the radar, which suggests an overpolicing much like that in New York with Eric Garner. That does not happen here in Seattle, people from other cities come from over-policing situations and it's like they have PTSD as it relates to cops. I do. When I was a part of forming the Seattle Urban League Young Professionals in 2005, at an event, a young black woman got into an argument over bowling shoes. No one came to her aid. Then she called the police. I questioned what kind of event was SULYP running and I was ostracized. I don't want to be around people who think that it is okay to come to someone's business and act crazy? I was there to have a good time. Apparently, I was the only one. But at that time, no one in this "professional group" understood that escalation of a situation involving people is not a smart thing for African Americans that are in small numbers in Seattle to start off with. Don't get me started of what looks like a "crabs in a barrel mentality" in this city, which makes no sense because there isn't just one of 2 of us and I thought we need to both make it. I was wrong. Another reason why I HATE SEATTLE.

2) If anyone can suffer reading this trash article and gain an understanding of what the interviewees think, you will find that it's superficial. Not the reality of tear gas canisters landing on your front lawn and people being told to go home, when that is your home...

3) Where are the police in this discussion? Were there any? Um... No... The problems in Ferguson are due to piss poor law enforcement training and negative racial undertones. Anyone who has worked in social justice can see that. But the fact is, Seattle Times didn't even speak to the family of the John T. Williams, the Native American woodcarver shot dead by Seattle PD. That is the best example of how Ferguson and Seattle may be similar with police issues. There is also the Latino beaten down. Did the writer DO the necessary background research?

Which makes me wonder, why did Seattle Times write this BS article?

To soothe the souls of White Supremacists that own his dishrag of a news paper and inform the multiethnis/racial children that they do not pass for white enough...

There is a colorism issue in Seattle often swept under the rug. It is condoned to progress in this city if the paradigm is not fit. It's promulgated by the corporate industries that move it forward and the young people protest things that make no difference or are ineffective toward change.

That doesn't mean there are not well-meaning people, but if I refuse to fit in BS circles in this city, then guess what? I'm ostracized. People who hit hard times are ignored and as far as friendships, they are absent with this thing called the "Seattle Freeze" -- the people are polite, but not very inclusive. And it's sad to say that the one thing that could bring the people of Seattle closer might be an earth moving disaster, but given that that has happened, we are no closer to those people. "What's Oso?"

I have never had to second guess and have my words minced before than this passive aggressive place, BUT THAT IS WHY I HATE SEATTLE FOR THIS VERY REASON ALONE.

You decide.

Family stories used for a police brutality against Black children

Family stories used for a police brutality against Black children

Family stories used for a police brutality against Black children

Saturday, September 13, 2014


Read a great series of Tweets of the sociological ramifications of suicide ideation among African Americans.

Black People and Suicide by GradientLair

I have been working on mental health and suicide ideation for MYSELF for over 30+ years of my life. Bipolar diagnosis. Yes, I have to take medication for that. I chose that option, because I did molecular genetic research in neurology to understand WTF is going on with me. I found my drugs, I spoke to the professionals about what was happen. I told them how to give me better treatment. I have a few therapists that actually taken it upon themselves to help me to where I've gotten better. Some where I had to get a new therapist. It's MY health, so how am I going to get better since I don't want the training?

But I hear causes to why Black people kill themselves like that's the biggest atrocity in the Universe and I get tired of hearing that. FUCK STIGMA!

Fact is, the STRONG DESIRE to want to kill one's self is bottomline a BIOLOGICAL ONE!



So why are you doing it to someone that wants to try to kill themselves? They are sick. They need help. Has judging them worked?

And yes, I know what its like to desire to commit suicide. I attempted starting at 14 years old until 19 years old and just said to myself I don't care what mental illness stigma does to me, I WANT TO LIVE.

If I wanted to live till I was 46 years old -- what I am today with a DOCTORATE in molecular genetics, then I needed to get professionally licensed care.

Biology doesn't change or differ in humans THAT much. Which means the standards of care can be met by whoever treats you. That's when the sociology and cultural competency comes into play -- AFTER ONE IS STABLE!

I've written and written and written and written some more about this. NO ONE READS IT!


Why do I continue?

For the next little Black girl who thinks suicide is a good thing... If this message gets to you, and you're feeling down,

1) Go to Metanoia and read it.

2) Call 911 or 1-800-273-TALK -- I don't care, just do it!

3) And once you're stable, it's YOUR HEALTH and FUCK STIGMA!

4) Let's start working on how to get you better. Usually it takes a couple of courses to even understand. Then it takes you doing a few mood trackers. I've used this one for free, there are others.
You can do pencil and paper. And show your providers.

5) If it is environmental...Like you live in a place that drives you crazy, just do a blog series of how much you hate it. Get it out of you. Don't let bad tapes/CDs/playlists fester inside your head. Get it out. Physical fitness with light weight training is really good for that and remember to hydrate.

That's all I'm going to give for now. But visit me on Facebook.

Monday, August 11, 2014

Condolences to the Robin Williams family and loved ones.

I grew up with Robin Williams comedy. His comic genius was extraordinary. I know he has been through many things in his life, and not every day can be funny, but I still admire him as a person and in his work. It is sad that he took his life, but as a fellow sufferer, I can understand where he was coming from. Introspection is premature in this instance.

Just know, you need a plan rather than the spontaneous. And it appears this instance is spontaneous.

Friday, July 25, 2014

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Thursday, July 24, 2014

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Beauty and the Bipolar. My Grandmother and Me.

This lovely picture is circa 1930 of a young Black girl who lived in Quincy, Florida.

She had the entire world to discover. She loved to sing, dance and worship God in her church. She trained as a nurse in school for ~2 years until she married her husband.

From that point, her life became devoted to God, her husband and her children.

She had 9 children.

There were times where this Black family could not make ends meet. Where the husband had to travel the roads in the United States to make money. There were times that there was little food and somehow by magic she was able to create a full course meal.

Then her husband gained stable employment with a very notable position, and eventually, the woman returned to college and got her bachelor's degree in education. It was after her last child was out of diapers. Then, she taught in the local elementary school.

The children who were in her class came from homes were the parents were worse off than her own family. By some mechanism, the kids in her class excelled. The children are now adults today, and they have fond memories of the teacher.

Then the grandchildren were being born, from the second oldest daughter to the first oldest son, and then the second oldest son, and more. Some of the grandchildren grew up near their grandmother and remembered how she loved them. It was with a strong 1930's-style of discipline. The grandchildren who grew far from their grandmother, did not quite understand her mentality until they got older.

I was one of the grandchildren that grew up far from my grandmother.

What was so remarkable about this woman? She was not famous. She was very opinionated. She sometimes appeared to be conceited. What was she about?

GRANDMOTHER was resilient in spite of it all...

She took the good with the bad. She prayed on it. The Bible was her reference book for all her decisions. Over time, she found her voice, and she expressed it with a pleasant astuteness. Her behavior for her generation was like that of Coretta Scott King. In fact she met her... Resolute, stylish, and inside toughness. When microaggressions occurred, she outmaneuver them like on the TV show, "Wipe Out" easily surpassing that obstacle course. People would say all kinds of mean things to her, and she should raise her head with pride and state quietly. "They talked about Jesus Christ, and you saw what they did to Him."

Living in the South, in the midst of white supremacy and overt racists, she recalls an incident when she returned home and was walking on a dirt road, when some white teenage boys in a beat up truck sped up to run her over to knock her off the road. She said if she did not jump out of the way, she would have been hit. She broke her coccyx tailbone, the last bone in her vertabral column when she jumped. I think that hurt her more emotionally as those were her experiences with racism, than the actually pain of breaking her tailbone.

Her education is what propelled her for debate. When she was a teenager, she could argue her points with logical precision. But during that time of the Depression, women, especially Black Women had little or no agency to move beyond their dreams. In 1934, she got married and learned a home was hard to keep without God driving the order. And then somehow, that system worked for my grandparents. How it worked, I am learning snippets from sources.

The reality is, it was no picnic with sunshine for my grandparents. Their forged in the might of God with fortitude to make choices. I believe both of them were very intelligent, but they had to be wise to survive. My grandfather loved the Bible as much, but he knew how to speak eloquently with his commanding voice. My grandmother was more reserved, but you HEARD her words.

When I became a young adult, I had a chance to spend a lot of time with my grandparents. I did not grow up around them. I took every opportunity to leave Spelman on breaks and visit them in Daytona Beach. I would discuss ideas about life and for some reason, they would hear me talk and tell me things. I do know, I would not have graduated from Spelman if I did not visit my grandparents. My grandfather once told me his expectations of me graduating from college and for some reason that resonated with me more than my parents telling me. My grandmother told me how get through college and graduate school through the Lord using chapter and verse.

As I got older, I watched my grandmother's mannerisms, style and grace. They were not like my parents or my parents' friends. They were not like the stereotypes on television. No one can fathom a woman like my grandmother. She was too illustrious, too glamorous, and way too fabulous for simple character study of a storyline that television can convey.

When she would visit my parents, she would love to shop for anything in the mall. She would go to Neiman Marcus and test the pricey lotions. The snooty counter woman would remark with a microaggression. "You know, that's blah blah blah designer, it is very-very expensive..."

My grandmother would happily reply. "Oh? Give me some more!"

Very few of my friends had elder women like that that they respected.

I was fortunate to have her prominent in my early adult life. I see that today's Black women are finding their voice to achieve their dreams and I think that is amazing. While I am of a different generation from many of these Black women where my generation barely had a voice, we all now, have a lot of agency. In my opinion, the younger women have that WOW factor. However, I'm saddened to read their bitter tone and while I catch myself with those feels, I'm amazed they can say it succinctly but they offer little recourse from the pain. I wonder about the strides of these women throughout their lives. Life is already tought and to put on a happy face feels stupid. I get these young women are tired of cowtowing, yet, one can catch more flies with honey than with salt as the old adage says. However, is this mode of thinking for the battle or for the war? Because if it is only for the battle, then ranting on a blog to use one's powerful voice to being enraged to signify one's rage is short-lived and temporary, and is not a great strategy for winning this war.  Of course, that assumes if there is a war and if there should be one, not to mention that is a very male dominated construct.

I just go back wondering what my grandmother would say about all of this... She would say James 3:9-12:

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.  Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?  My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

Out of all the people who can work wonders on me without any formal degrees in psychiatry or psychology, my grandmother calmed me when I was at my worst bipolar mental stay. 

Then I have to remember one of her favorite Bible verses was Proverbs 3:5:

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

People around me can bash me, demean me, destroy me and hate me. But in the end, it is just me and they cannot touch that, because it belongs to God. 

I will continue living my life by the mere emulation of her, until I die.

"Beauty" at 90 years old

Monday, July 14, 2014

More people have kidney stones because they are dehydrated.

pHion is the category leader when it pertains to pH balancing of the body.

More people are getting kidney stones because they are dehydrated. What can be done? Drink more water! How much depends on what your healthcare provider says. Generally 8 glasses per day or ~1-2 Liters per day. Good water. Clean water. Pure and balanced water.

Water - H2O is quintessential for life. We cannot survive without water. When we fail to consume adequate amounts of water, we suffer. Water = Life. It is the conduit to our soul. So if you have clean water, you are truly blessed and you should drink it. If your water is not clean, that requires experiences beyond the scope of this blog. No offense to those who don't have clean water - I would not know?

As I understand it, it must be boiled, then filtered for potability. As to the process, I do not know. There are Iodine tablets, but they only last so long.

Water as a resource of potability will be lacking in the future. We have not conserved our water. We must find ways to do that.

Saturday, June 28, 2014

Another reason WHY I HATE SEATTLE!

Woman says she accidentally kicked SPD cop who hit her | Local News | The Seattle Times

1) Woman and her "baby daddy" got into a heated argument at a friends house. The daddy left and she followed him. Both had too much to drink. He drove, but she walked to the baby daddy's house.

2) Police were called and an overseer stated someone had to be arrested and go to jail. He picked the woman and rassled her to the backseat where her foot slipped and hit him in the chin. He then punched her in the eye. She was in jail for 4 days and release without being charged.

3) This is PISS POOR news reporting and in HATE BLOGS run by white supremacist groups this story is seen as a "Nigger Whine"...


5) Couples argue and fight and it's not fair. Sure, there are MUCH BETTER WAYS to handle misbehavior as a couple, but without that knowledge, people don't JUST KNOW! Especially if one's upbringing was NOT to argue fairly without raising one's voice -- using one's words. Anger is abundant as is resentment. It takes a long time to learn how to have verbal spats with out the logic fallacy of vehemence.


^^^^This would be called domestic violence!

Moreover, this is really TONE POLICING... It's what white supremacists do with their privilege to invoke a a choke hold on African American women in Seattle.

Seattle better get a grip of its hate or else it will be cinder blocks...

Don't be scared bigots. Preparation doesn't matter. It is the price that will be paid for the bigotry.

Original Article in case Seattle Times erases it.

Woman Says She Accidentally Kicked SPD Cop Who Hit Her _ Local News _ the Seattle Times

Sunday, June 15, 2014

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Thursday, June 12, 2014

I HATE SEATTLE! Another episode...

I've been forced to live in Seattle for 11 years. I've lost my career I have been trained to do, I've lost my support systems, I've lost my friends. I am damn near about to lose my mind and somehow, I keep living for another day.

Seattle SUCKS for Black Women living here. It SUCKS for me and I'm married! I cannot imagine the HELL some Black Women suffer who are single.

It may be a product of where I live, too. I live near Microsoft. The corporation is fine as I do not work there, but the surrounding areas and the people SUCK!


And I've really tried to make the best of it. I've gotten involved. I've done community service. I've tried to build my business in social media and entertainment. I'll do whatever I can to make a positive change to participation!

Then I see this youtube:

And I wonder, how much racist microaggressions must I endure that explains why I HATE SEATTLE!

And this is NOT about the guy who teaches this class or even the high school students or the producers of this video. My rant is about ME and MY MENTAL HEALTH that SUFFERS under a oppressive system that I endure while living in the South North Pole! 

They said that this class is about the larger community. The fact there are white people TRYING to make it better says something, even to me. And I can admit that mental healthwise, there are things I must overcome in therapy that have nothing to do with bigotry and racism I have endured here in Seattle that I don't in other COUNTRIES, but the people in Seattle are BIGOTS in these nooks and crannies, chiefly where I live and other places.

They have this FUCKED up attitude. That if I was someone in social justice, I'd literally ruin their life just because. I'd obliterate them. Like that butthead fuck that came up to me when I was deciding which movie to go to and told me to get out of line so he can buy his ticket!

  • He wouldn't have done it if we are white
  • He damn sure would not have done it if my husband was there

But he thought that I would not physically assault his bitchass when he literally stood by me hovering telling me to get out of the movie ticket line all in my personal space! Who yells at anyone queued up in a movie ticket line? And this crazy man did.

I am nearly 50 years old. I don't do much arguing and fighting lately. In this instance, I did not say a word. I did not raise my fist. He was old and he probably did not have must life in him anyway. I did the RIGHT thing and I did NOT engage him.

The movie ticket seller spoke up in my defense and asked the man to move back. That is the ONLY thing that stopped me from bashing that man.


Assholes who think they can speak to me. Assholes who think they can speak to me any kind of way. And they're lucky I don't pop off. Because the last time I did, the ASSHOLE felt he should call the police.

I'm not conniving, and "too whom the gods wish to destroy, they must first make them angry..." So if I kept my cool, and sneered, these ASSHOLES still will call the police! And who are the police going to listen to? Me a "young-looking" somewhat overweight Black Woman accused of assault? Or an old sickly white man being an asshole?



It's like FUCK my doctorate education. FUCK my experience traveling around the world with my husband, and FUCK my family!

If you are a Black Woman in SEATTLE, married or not, educated or not; an ASSHOLE WHITE PERSON can accuse you of bullshit and the police won't give a shit about you, even if you're out of control or if you're not.

It's like Orange Is The New Black here... Don't live here.


Friday, June 6, 2014

Do Nice Black Guys Deserve To Be Friend Zoned?

Ok. So I guess I have a VERY different view of this meme...

I've dated the "HOT BLACK Males" -- the ones you want...

Do you know what you have to DO to KEEP "HOT BLACK Male" like that? SACRIFICE ALL YOUR MORALS and I literally mean ANY integrity you have inside yourself to have a "HOT BLACK Male".

What type of male are we talking about?

  • Professional athletes. 
  • Ultra Rich Black men who can buy serious money type stuff: houses, yachts, lavish Great Gatsby type parties.
  • Major politicians with $1000+ plate dinners where you meet dignitaries. 

I've dated my share - let me make this clear, I had a chance to be flown somewhere where this guy had my formal dress in order to shake the hands of the King and Queen of Sweden. I said, "No." because that scared the shit out of me:

  1. My dad taught me: NEVER let a man who is not your husband buy you clothes; 
  2. I only met this guy ONCE and he was offering me this  and I checked his background seriously, so he wasn't bullshitting on his capabilities. 
  3. I knew he wanted arm-candy and when I was young, I was rather attractive, so what?  
  4. Once you let a man that you are dating paying for things like your lifestyle and you're not married to him or committed exclusive or something, you RISK your autonomy - i.e. you don't get input anymore and I can get caught up into that easily - like an addict. So I had stopgap measurements in place. Besides, how did I know he wasn't lying? He had not PROVED to me he was a "nice guy", yet...

I was never into rappers and actors - that life was after my time and seriously not my taste - I was more into production folks: yes, the ones who are the Executives the movies - they pay to make them.

When I see this meme, I think to myself that after being shitted up on by these "HOT Black Males" at a time in my life I needed someone the most -- where I was in the hospital emergency room by myself with a seizure and I had to name a "friend" - these "HOT BLACK Males" you fantasize about disappeared...

The "nice guy" was there for me... The nice guy helped me get through one of the toughest times my life.

You can think all you want about this:

  • He's funny looking
  • Awkward
  • Boring
  • Creepy weird
  • Lacks conversation
  • A turn off

You can discount these type a guys, but these type of guys WILL LOVE you if that's what you want... These type of guys WILL do EVERYTHING in their power to make YOU HAPPY!

NICE guys do PROVE why they are nice and you will know and if you don't want that, be HONEST with yourself and say, that's not what you want... It's okay to NOT have a nice guy.

In fact you can TELL a nice guy that you do want a roughneck thug (in the bedroom) -- of course that's a "real roleplay" you'd have to rock out on... But hey "50 Shades"!

How do I know?

I'm Dr. G M.-S. and I've been married for 11 years... And I just got back from a dream trip in Australia with my husband...

Embrace your inner nerd girl. Ain't nothing wrong with that. And the funny thing is,

  1. You can train them... 
  2. They're very smart and fast learners. 
  6. They are handymen... You'd have to understand that.


Thursday, May 29, 2014

My Review of "Change My Race" - Documentary about Australian-#Asians

From Australia's SBS by Anna Choy

Change My Race (Part 1) by Sablicious

Anna Choy creates a documentary about being Asian in Australia and what is considered beautiful under a European ideal. Overall, the documentary is intriguing. Background is that Anna Choy herself is "biracial" - her mother is Caucasian, her father is Chinese and she grew up in Australia. She is married/partnered and has a child.

It sounded like she was jaded by her "Asian" characteristics. What is refreshing is seeing other races besides mine discuss racial politics. The documentary opens with a Caucasian woman from a local university, Dr. Meredith Jones.

But travels to the Asian Cosmetic Surgery Capital of the world in South Korea. They had a listing of all services including, Orthognactic procedure. One doctor, Dr. Joo Kwon does angle resection for a "baby face". That is one does not do well to take care of themselves, they are being "ugly by choice". A lot of people are doing "face smashing". It is a more attractive person, but less Asian.

Moving back to Australia, several Asian women and girls were interviewed on their ideas about cosmetic surgery. Why destroy functional attractive faces. Psychologist Roberta Honigman says there is a nexus between medicine and culture. Doctors enable peopel who feel they need to "fix" the aesthetics of their bodies - i.e. surgery is not medical necessary. She stated that in the 1910s-1920s in America, Jewish and Irish immigrants would use these procedures to be a part of the culture. Immigrants want to help children for maximum opportunity.

Growing up Asian in a predominantly White communities, Asians are not expecting the faces they see - the eyes, nose and in some ways mouth.

Only similarity to what we do as African Americans is bleaching cream.

Many Asian Australians feel Australian, but don't at time. They still feel like foreigners.

Chloe Munoz who is a modeling casting agent says White Women from Australia would sell more magazines on covers.

More lighter skin is a status of wealth. Not working in the fields. It is ideal human, people of color are a variation of human.

Beauty works on a subconscious level.

Ruby Hamad as a feminist got plastic surgery on her nose to look less Arab or Middle Eastern. Did she choose to grow up into an environment that was not hers with that influence?

We no longer look like our parents children and your children will not look like you.

The producer for this show was Julia Redwood.

What I thought about the documentary content? I felt sad. My thoughts are that Asians are stronger than that. They are better people than they give themselves credit to do. They survive by placating white people, but they never really will be able to completely do it. From my point of view, many various countries in Asia are outmaneuvering America and other countries with their capital enterprises.

Asian women do not have to aspire looking more White to be attractive. Where is that pressure coming from? In the documentary, it was said it was from the family to give them opportunity. But I don't believe that, I think it comes from men. It is a "misogyno-jeune" like "misogynoir" but from Asian men. Men pedestalized Blonde Hair-Blue Eyed women. And since the stereotype of Asian women are as subservient, have they placated their men? I don't know? I know Black women won't placate their men worth a damn. At the same time, our relationships are lacking.

However, no one can dictate how another person feels about their race or ethnic group. That person needs to define it for themselves.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Rape for Profit by Jada Pinkett Smith - Sex Trafficking #Seattle

Rape For Profit - Trailer from RapeForProfitFilm on Vimeo.

Seattle may seem benign and seem liberal areas on the United States, but men bash women here. Men stranglehold women and rape them. The insult is at 14 years old in age. A girl is coming to grips of being a woman (by menstruation), being a sexual being (generally liking a boy) to being responsible (by succeeding in school). When a girl is raped, all that kind of positive movement forward is dispelled.

The very soul of a girl is taken from her. Her rage and ire is turned inward. It does not come out in good ways.

I know... I've been there before...

And what got me out is the Tantra - the art of conscious loving. It brought me to loving me, for the wondrous spirit I am. No condemnation, no destruction, no judgment. How to move with love through art and thought, in deed, and compassionate action. It is why the Isle Sanctuary exists. Why there is a safe-space in the torrential seas of the Internet, despite what others have stated.

I'm here. I'm here when you need me. Always vigilant. Always united. A sanctuary for peace.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Goal Setting for Depression and Anxiety with the Fun Activity Catalogue Is Not Culturallly Competent

I'm taking a "Depression & Anxiety Management" course offered by my healthcare provider ( Group Health Cooperative ), which is taught by trained/licensed mental healthcare professionals.

I was given this handout called:

Fun Activities Catalogue

It lists various activities one finds as "WORK, LEISURE or SELF-CARE"

WORK are activities that you have to do and they're a part of life. Sometimes you dread doing them, but if you choose to not do it, you would.

LEISURE are activities that you love to do - recreational, etc. and you choose to do them.

SELF-CARE are activities you do to take care of yourself and generally enjoy doing them.

Sometimes there's a blur between LEISURE and SELF-CARE. These items intermingle.

When one is depressed from various reasons, they cannot see anything that gives them any pleasure. That is a sign of ANHEDONIA - lack of pleasure.

To build around that, find things on the list you love to do (LEISURE) and things you do for SELF-CARE and work on these items to set goals to achieve.

I asked the question about TRAUMA, but I didn't explain it in context due to the nature of the course and my first time being there. But this was in reference to the Zimmerman and Dunn cases: Black teenage boys, doing what they love to do, and some lunatic kills them for it. How can anyone set goals with having a fear of that?

The answer I got was not culturally competent.

I was told that you build small to build up your confidence, and explore down the line if you can redo some of the things you enjoy. It is setting yourself up for success. 

Nice clinical textbook answer for those with privilege and agency. For those without that: Namely diverse groups that are under oppression due to bigotry, this nice sheet, "Fun Activity Catalogue" while helpful, needs reframing in context. 

Can the tripartite system work for peoeple who have mental health condition as a seen as a biological issue? Yes. 

Can it work when adding the layer of health disparities, most injustice, poverty and environment help with a "Fun Activity Catalogue"? A RESOUNDING NO! 

Not if the answer is piecemeal out your fears to regain your confidence in doing something after a severely traumatic event - such that suffered by Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis.

Sorry, but it is not. Professionals teaching this need to add context to it, or diverse populations are not going to do it.