Monday, August 30, 2010

We've lost our mojo - Fight the powers that be!!! WAKE UP KNEEGROWS!!!

I was watching this video:

And I was reminding my first experience with having to fight for African American rights at Spelman College in 1987...The second semester of my Freshman year...I started in the Fall, 1986.

It was my indoctrination into what my ancestors fought and died for...Under "Civil Right's Incidents"

I was THERE in January 24, 1987... One of the 20,000. One in the 500 busloads of protesters. It was my first time EVER seeing the Klan in full regalia and a dividing line of United States Guardsmen requested by the Governor and sent by President Reagan. What my mother got water cannoned for. What my father got arrested for just integrating a lunch counter. Reverend Hosea Williams was one of the major civil rights activists that traveled with Dr. Martin Luther King.

This blog is my recollection of those days...

I was nothing but an impressionable 18 year old "girl". I had just gotten back from my holiday return home speaking of the wonderful words of Spelman on my first semester. I was enthralled of the new things I was learning, I hated a few of my professors, but nothing out of the ordinary. My grandfather, Dr. Richard V. Moore was alive! I knew I could do anything!

Then I watched Television when I first saw it...The following is only a quote of what happened:

In 1987 he led another nationally-covered march, this one consisting of 75 people in Forsyth County, Georgia, which at the time (before becoming a major exurb of northern metro Atlanta) had no non-white residents. He and the others were assaulted with stones and other objects by the KKK and other white supremacists.

There was only 10-15 protesters who were literally ran away. The entire school ran to the television to see it. I was put on what was now called CNN seen across the nation. As kids we were only told what happened. Surely things are better and more equal these days! RIGHT???

I was wrong...

I never thought to call my parents. There was no such thing as cell phones or the ones they had used wagons to cart. So I could not call my folks about going. All I knew was to fight for my people. I wanted to make a difference. And remember this type was BC = before computers. So no email. There was chat or Commodore 64 type chat...

I joined 4-5 people, 2 of which I remains friends with today. It was cold. Fortunately I was bundled. Failed to eat and coffee was not our thing. There was no food. Barely had money.

We rode the bus up to North to Forsyth county, who at the time ran Black people out in 1912 and no other Black person lived there, since! The reason why in 1986-1987 Black people were trying to live there was their jobs relocated them there. The land was plentiful and inexpensive and developers desired the land. Remember this was the same time the Black Farmers were going through their trials with Ms. Sherrod... I found out that information as I got older.

Along the way, bigoted racist Caucasian men flipped us off. They were your typical bigots: huge rusty truck with a gun rack missing teeth, some with the Confederate Battle Flag. What made it partially amusing was somehow this homeless bum got on and kept yelling out, "Hey that dude threw a bird!"

Then we got to the "small town" of Forsyth, Georgia and the only fast food place was "Kentucky Fried Chicken". We were so hungry, we had to eat--just one biscuit. Then this "prophesier Black man" started saying to all who listened, "Don't support those who oppress you. You buy from them, they will use it to oppress you."

We looked at one another and we decided not to eat. Peer pressure! Back then the foibles of teenagers was unknown by our families and friends. So we starved.

Then we walked to the center of town to wait to hear several top speakers: Reverend Hosea Williams, Reverend Ralph Abernathy, Reverend Jesse Jackson, etc.

What I remember seeing:

The line of US National Guardsmen...Khaki green in boots, helmets, riot gear.

Helicopters roaming around to suppress any fights.

News vans seeing if anything were to jump off.

Then 20 of the Klan in white robes. One really piggly red guy calling forth to ride off and take over.

Several people carrying signs. A few Republicans carrying signs against racism. I remember looking at another guy who said to me, "sounds like an oxymoron to me!"

We kept moving because we were cold, hungry and tired. Then the Klan started their large trucks motors whirring, yelling, "You would not be as strong without the National Guard!" And then the Helicopter lowered to suppress their actions. The helicopter looked white with yellow stripes. It felt like I could touch it in the sky.

I really did not hear any of the speeches. It seemed like the same rhetoric spoken all the time by our so-called kneegrow leaders--stop hating, be good and do not fight each other because we are brothers and sisters in God and the Universe.

We returned home, ran to get food from our cafeteria and then plopped down on the bed. I do not remember much what happened afterward. I got bits and pieces. But I felt a kinship with my parents because I had a taste of what they suffered. Moreover, I think this event started my hard core reason to fight. To prove to people that I was good enough, a better person and that I can compete at similar levels.

Now looking back, looking at my life in totality so close to my birthday, I wonder the "what ifs". If I had spoken to my parents before the event, I probably would have been talked out in going. I would have wanted to be a part of changing for the better part of history... If I had eaten, I would have been able to focus on the speeches and desire to develop this "civil rights fight" I believed in and community organizer!

It reminded me of how I supported Dr. Julian Bond's congressional campaign my first semester, Freshman year. I was even able to speak to him briefly, until someone on his campaign told me to leave that I was some "dumb little girl". I missed my hometown at that time, but my mental health issue had not totally kicked in yet.

I think as I look back is young people have no clue of how far we have come and what it took to get there. How respectful are they to their elders? I think some are. Many are not. Since, I do not have children, I would not begin to understand how to communicate with a child other than my brother's children, nephew and niece.

There is one thing I know is "LOVE"...I have learned to love myself more during this trying times. And I know I am love per the reminder of this song:

Don't give up...

Friday, August 27, 2010

My response to Frau Doktor Laura Schlessinger #Mental #Health

I was reading this blog about Frau...which was really good actually. Gave a nice anecdotal story about learning how not to be an Asshole like Frau. And while I commended her efforts on explaining why Frau is an idiot, I also stated that what Dr. Laura did to the caller was exploitation--much like a purchaser of slaves would do to see what she can drag out that savageness. It is like she said, "I will devour you Bitch and there is nothing you can do about it!" A Mary Sue Pedastalization issue or like the blogger stated "Borderline"--LOL! Now that is pretty good...I'mma use that when I deal with the Tea leavers...

I am writing this blog because my brother wanted me to write it. He wanted me to go all crazy and discuss how Dr. Laura is making Black women clinically depressed who call her @^(*&)% show on marital and relationship issues, especially when it is a interracial marriage or relationship! I am not going to do that...Not to piss my brother off, but why condone the belligerent behavior of logic fallacy ignorance spewed on the likes of Dr. Laura Borderline...

Here is my list as to why I am NOT going to write about that:

  1. Dr. Laura is crotchety...I would not call her even for a wrong number...

  2. Dr. Laura is fugly...Not just in looks but also in demeanor. The days of bashing people are over. Young people these days did not have whoopins like we had back in the day. I was thinking the other day, the kiddies that cyberbully me on Twitter, they were all ADHD kids addicted to Ritalin and misdiagnoses with Autism with psychopathic anxious mothers or worse. Dr. Laura is from the old school, her grandkids probably do not see her much because it is more important for her to get her botox shots that spend time with Susie or Becky or Ashley or whatever the fuck her adult kids named their children. Hayle, I doubt her adult kids WANT to see grandma!

  3. Dr. Laura is not even on my radar for a mental health anything. Her degree may be in some form of radicalized psychotheraputics also know as BDSM with her ball gag and a biker hat on, but who knows what she really enjoys behind closed doors.

Okay seriously Free Speech rights...She can be and say stupid things and it is her right. If she wants to run around in her house and yell epithets till she is blue in the face, which would not be hard for her unless she like John Boehner who ignores the OOPMA LOOMPAS phone calls, then BLESS HER HEART she has a right to do it, naked if she wants in her best BDSM costume. But the minute she says it on the air, posts it on the internet, it becomes the subject of discussion and criticism by those of us who have brains. HAYLE those of us who have half a brain we have a right to respond and critically evaluate her Borderline disorder.

I do not care about how or why she would say anything to anyone, I am not psychiatrist and have yet to care. Besides as an advocate of health self-management, I am pretty stable on my medications, thank you!

What gets me is now she is skulking wanting the White Man to protect her stinky ass by appealing to them as a "patriot", tea leavers (I can uses a better term here but their psychosis is not what I want to deal with right now), deranged shrill ding bat flutists because "woe is me", she has foot and mouth disease--or she is actually "Borderline"...

Another thing from my underground days that I really need to get in touch with these folks: To the so-called kneegrow woman who called, did you really think that Dr. Laura would help you? Did you ever watch "Roots" when Kizzy was sold off by Sandy Duncan (2nd youtube 6:38 minutes)...What were you thinking? Frau would be the LAST person who I would EVER speak to regarding that issue. I mean really, devoid of her "borderline" rant she gave, fact remains if your husband is allowing a bigot in your house and you cannot speak to him about it or how it affects you, then gwirlfriend, racism is not your only problem!

Fact remains, that bigotry and racism is a probably a sociopathic mental illness. It is systemic and all that wonderful stuff. But people who dwell on it really do have brain problems. And when I say dwell, I do not mean talk about it, I mean saying racist and bigoted things knowingly that it hurts people, intentionally. It is like picking that one wound and pulling off the scab. There is no real discourse. I think that is what makes some Caucasians fearful is they do not know how far their hatred resides. If one has to ask that question, then it is too far... I say some Caucasians, because there are others who do not care. Like Eminem hangs with the brothas moreso that some brothas...Even some Caucasian woman are sticking up for Black women moreso than many a Sistah does for one another--not that I have ever experienced that myself, but that is what I heard...

Can hatred be healed? Yes and no... It takes whatever is biochemically called "epiphany" in the body to make the overriding changes. It takes so much forgiveness that your heart is moved to be better. That is why a spirituality works wonders for these things. Not to be mean, but I do not know how atheists do it, maybe they can enlighten me. Because once you have made your road to Damascus...

Anyhow, Frau will never live this down until she has that Epiphany. And if she does not, then cancer sets in. That is usually what happens to those with internal hatred...

Here's where we humans need to be:

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Montana Fishburne's choice of porn life Black Woman Image #Mental #Health

I was reading this blog about Montana Fishburne... Interesting read and I agree with most of the blogger's opinion, but some statements seemed sanctimonious. Such as: "Montana’s latest nonsense..." To Miss Montana Fishburne her upbringing is becoming apparent here for her latest behavior. Anyone can see that. It is possible that her famous father, Laurence Fishburne, had a difference of opinion of her upbringing from her mother--who we have never met... I am writing on this subject is what is said at the end of this blog that got me thinking:

Whatever is going on in her relationship with her parents, and especially her father, I hope they are able to resolve their differences in private. Montana Fishburne needs counseling: psychological counseling AND career counseling.

Otherwise, the next time we see her, it will be on Celebrity Rehab.

Again ignoring the acerbic nature of the comment, this blogger has a point: How could a young woman who had all the gifts in the world could offer due to the tireless efforts of her famous father want to squelch it to become a Porn Star?

Or to put it in more reference to those that read my blog:

Give not that which is holy to the dogs, neither cast you your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you. Matthew 7:6

But it is happened to them according to the true proverb, The dog is turned to his own vomit again; and the sow that was washed to her wallowing in the mire. 2 Peter 2:22

I am not trying to get all pious on those, far be it from me to do so with all my sufferings, but I think we who have discovered sexual exploration, then undergone sexual predatory humiliation immediately put our blinders up and want to protect those from our pains. Especially when we see someone going down a similar path like Miss Montana Fishburne.

Aside from she COULD be the exception to the rule and ACTUALLY transition from the porn industry into famous star power with fame and fortune--a first for African American woman generally speaking--we who have been sexually predated and humiliated know that the ideology she is manifesting is untrue... And there are ranges of reasons for that--just look at how black women have been treated this entire year? From Shirley Sherrod, to Fantasia Barrino, to Michelle Obama and her daughters!

No wonder Montana is already thinking if I am going to be seen as trash, may as well be trashy and at least they have that stereotype to use against me...

It is very well established that being a female porn star is about power and control. There is only one woman CEO of a porn company and she inherited it from her father - Playboy and she has had to fight her way to keep it and keep her father at the helm of the Franchise.

Miss Fishburne signed on with Vivid Corp. Notorious for the dehumanization of women. Basically riding them to the ground. Graduates of the Vivid program are old when they reach 25 years old. Who is Jenna again? She may be rich, but who wants that old mare who is not what she use to be? All for pubescent sexually deprived predators to rock their socks of with various fantastical poses...

No...Miss Fishburne does not need psychological help, but deprogramming from a cult that feels woman deserve subjugation under wife beaters. Yes, domestic violence is at play here.

But, she feels she will laugh all the way to the bank for 6 years till she is beaten down only to realize that she will go down and away like all black female porn stars have, e.g. Miss Ola Ray in Michael Jackson's Thriller...Then wind up 40+ - something only giving seminars in Las Vegas for acting courses attempting to incite her father's artistic achievements...

Fact is Black women will NEVER equate to white women in American society, including porn. Alice Walker's, "You Can't Take a Good Woman Down" short story "Coming Apart" is an illustration of the kind of consumers who purchase and consumes porn. Black finer womanhood, feminity and our Goddess image will not be made productive in Yurugu-style porn and as you can see we can not make it productive...

Are you serious for a change? Or as Morpheus said: FREE YOUR MIND!!!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Fantasia Barrino & the Pedestalizing the Penis--Her #Suicide

On Monday, August 9, 2010 Miss Fantasia Barrino the 3rd Season of American Idol Winner attempted suicide with a drug overdose due to a penis from a married man.

Not to be trite and dirty about it but I have some experiences with "pedestalizing" penises from idiotic men. Desiring a man, wanting a man only to be played like a fiddle from an UNWORTHY MAN not worth my efforts to love in the beginning.

How could a very fortunate, hard working, lift herself up from her bootstraps, African American woman who appeared to be moving to a celebrity status allow herself to fall for a loser of a man. She had raw, natural talent, which allowed her to rise to the top and win a powerful contest and instant celebrity. She built herself up with the assistance of powerful cohorts, such as Quincy Jones et al. This man, no matter how attractive he was was UNWORTHY of her. Then for him to drop the bomb of marriage to another woman??? He lied to her... Even after he said to Fantasia that he no longer has love for his wife it is a LIE!

But for Fantasia to resort to overdosing on pills...

She has other mental health issues that caused her to arrive to that conclusion. 1) Low self-esteem. Poverty does that to someone. Never thinking she is worth more than what she is. Black women who grow up like this have no role models that bolster their self-esteem. It is like fitting in clothes never created with the black woman form in mind--such as Liz Claiborne...

2) Historical precedent - Fantasia was the first African American woman to win American Idol. There was pressure to at least have a Black woman rank high in the competition. But, as usual the judges choose someone with the weakest support system to win to have the self-fulfilling prophecy. Unfortunately, that was Fantasia Barrino. What I like about her is her stalwart fight against institutionalized racism. But when one does that, she allows unsavory characters into her life, such as:

3) Antwaun Cook who stated to Fantasia the following:
"He was not happy in his marriage and his heart was not in it. She believed him when he told her he and Mrs. Cook separated in the late summer of 2009. She believed Mr. Cook when he told her he lived elsewhere."

4) Fantasia wanted love by a sexy man. Antwaun was that man. For 11 months he beguiled a ruse over her sharing in her plans to never leave his wife. Very typical of a domestically violent individual. Cheating is a form of domestic violence. Domestic violence also means preying on the mentally vulnerable. Since, Fantasia was use to this kind of man, she was not able to tell until he must have told her he wanted to see how to improve his relationship with his wife due to the final signatories of a divorce decree and apparently his wife used their children as leverage to keep him.

Is his penis worth the pedestalization? HAYLE NO! WHY? And for all starlets out there, they need to be in that frame of mind! Why? Because female celebrities have assets that are valued. Men, especially unsavory men, want to take that away from a powerhouse female celebrity. Can women of this stature survive this? Well, actually many do but that is not without huge sacrifice and destruction of character. But in showbiz infamy is big business for the high stakes game of celebrity perpetuity...

But for Fantasia Barrino, this suicide attempt depending on her actions, if spun positively, she can keep it moving. But she can stay in the doldrums of infamy, and hope that her raw talent can bring her out of it. Doubtful it will for her due to her star status...

I am not going to discuss my private life here, but what I can say is I have been there, done that and got a T-shirt to rise above pedestalizing the penis. What worked for me, may not work for other women. But it did involve loving all that am, just as I am more than I can be and be the inner Goddess that is my birthright and meant to be!

Stay blessed.

Ashe' o



After watching this...I hope she is on her way to healing. From someone with bipolar disorder: Do not forget all those who DO love you...YOU JUST DON'T KNOW THE LEAST OF THOSE ARE PULLING FOR YOU!

But yeah...This stuff eats your mind Miss Tasia...

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Issue Campaigns & #Mental #Health

My roleplaying group on Twitter was looking for new "enActors" to serve roles in our storylines, recently. Our master storyline is why would these group of powerful immigrants choose war over integrating into the society after 4000 years?

Sounds familiar???

No this story is a fictional account totally! So I was attempting to relate to the current events of today to write a fictional account to relay it to the younger generation. But they have no clue how hard people worked to give them the rights they have today. Moreover, this laziness to really tell compelling stories with a plot to suspend disbelief for a moment is difficult. That is what separates the big time authors from the short tag-team authors who could use an extra writing course--like myself...

So, during my searching, the negative opportunity dropped in front of me like a ton of bricks. It was the deceitful image of attracting men through lascivious women who were SLAVES! The passing off of a parodied slave girl to high end hard up men.

My character's mother was a slave saved by the powerful immigrants and acculturated into their culture. I have not formally written the full script to enact on Twitter, but it was my intention to do so. My character's mother was beaten with the cruelest of intentions because she rebuffed her overseer's sexually advances. It was the bludgeoning of her skin that caused these powerful immigrants to save her.

My story starts that way because it is a story written on the humiliation of women, particularly African American women who were enslaved along with men. In my own family, several women were sexually violated at the hands of slavers.

When a Twitter account is dedicated to promoting and parodying enslaved women, it is a spit into the faces of my ancestors who died to allow me to say what needs to be said about this issue. I have family members that I do not know because the women had not choices when they were raped, repeatedly at 12 years old by their slave master...

Women have been denied choices in their lives for millennia.

These days, NO woman would desire one step in the shoes of any ancestor who has suffered as a slave. It is an ugly life and desensitizes one to have hope and imagine a better life.

My main character is attempting to reconcile her behavior toward her mother's hardened life with the mess she has made of her own--dealing with her lasciviousness and her domestically violent relationship with an evil abuser. But my character would prefer to take the physical beatings that the humiliation of her stature as a "Senator" that is meant to protect Sentient Beings' rights and end slavery.

Given what is happening in the real world with the dismantling of the United States Constitution and Bill of Rights along with Amendment 14, Immigration and vitriolic hate perpetuated by paranoid people, the issue of ending slavery even in a fictional account must be supported. It is NOT fantasy and fun when some piddly pedestalized, ignorant girl thinks it is cool to perpetuate an unrealistic myth of the antebellum glory of sex slave!!!

Why? Because thoughts precede action. If people think it is "okay" to feel that way, then they will easily rationalize that they can do it. And given the number of nefarious people online, specifically Twitter, enslavement seems to be more frequent. Slavers are extremely friendly people. They trick the ignorant and young into giving private information about them and their locations eventually to violate their bodies. That is how predators do this act. Enslavement = human predation.

Fortunately for me, I am seen as mean. Thankfully that makes me not a slaver. I do not want to know some of these people. Actually, I want to be like "Morpheus" in "The Matrix" and FREE MINDS!!!

But I get so much social media backlash in doing just that it make me wonder what has happened. Because when the reality sets in and the dust settles, it is then that they realize how much more of their time could have spent on research and bolstering their stories than to fight with the one person trying to teach them something... Teach them so that they can learn on their own...

Education is not about making folks comfortable to "sell" an idea in like that seen in marketing. REAL education combines knowledge and experience. I have both. So when these things happen to me, I turn them into my stories and I write.

I have been attacked personally rather than on subject. The logic fallacies are beyond me. I do know that every day more and more the mental health professional are suggesting that this cyberbullying issue is caused by a sociopath who lacks the healthy concept of defined barriers on the internet.

Short story: I give those who are interested an education and I help develop comfortable barriers, rather than attacking individuals armed with misinformation and belittling.

This is what I do and often I am right... What I say might take awhile, but rarely am I wrong, especially when I do know something is right. I am resolute!