Wednesday, May 20, 2015

@GAIAM Yoga Apparel with a fit that won't quit!

Gaiam Yoga Apparel with a Fit that won't quit
Gaiam Yoga Apparel with a Fit that won't quit

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Muse: the brain sensing headband from GAIAM

Muse: the brain sensing headband
Discover new brainpower and feel focused and calm in just three minutes a day with Muse, the new brain-sensing headband. EEG sensors allow Muse to detect and measure your brain activity, just like a heart monitor measures heart rate. Your Muse device sends this info to your smart phone or tablet using Bluetooth LE and pairs with Calm, a free app with guided sessions designed to train your brain to manage stress and calm your mind.

Relaxation and Breathing for Meditation DVD with Rodney Yee from GAIAM

Relaxation and Breathing for Meditation DVD with Rodney Yee
Relaxation and breathwork prepare you for meditation, the practice of silencing the mind to instill a sense of calm and contentment. Relaxation and Breathing for Meditation with Rodney Yee is a program of gentle yoga poses and breathing techniques to bring body and mind to stillness. 85 minutes. Click to view Rodney Yee's entire DVD collection. Relaxation & Meditation DVD Features: Prepares the body and mind for meditation Perfect for meditation beginners who have trouble silencing the mind Guide

Relax And Restore DVD from GAIAM

Relax And Restore DVD
Learn natural ways to slow your mind and refresh your senses with Relax & Restore, our collection of stress management practices. Enjoy three different stress-relieving programs on one DVD: "Stress Relief Yoga for Beginners," "Calming T'ai Chi for Beginners" and "Stress-Less Meditation." Includes bonus downloadable Anti-Stress Meal Planning guide. 77 minutes. Made in the USA. Relax & Restore DVD Includes: Three effective stress-relieving practices on one DVD Teaches natural ways to slow the mind

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

#Baltimore #BlackLivesMatter #MentalIllness: Are Black People Allowed To Have Bad Days?

 Natasha McKenna

I was thinking about Baltimore.

Unfortunately, due to privilege of the police who murdered Freddie Gray by breaking his spine, for whatever reason, Gray ran from them making him suspect to be hunted and lynched for killing like that.

If Gray had nothing to hide, he would not have to run. Of course, why are their police pursuits anymore with all the communications and camera surveillance technology that is available? He could feel he could have ran somewhere and hide, but walking into a house with a warrant sound more justified by law than breaking his spine and killing him. 

But these purposes of this blog, the questions remains: Maybe Gray just had a bad day and felt like exercising. Maybe he did snatch or steal, I don't know, but his life is not worth what he stole. Can't people who don't hurt others just have bad days and try to get out to regain their breath? For Black people, I guess not.

As for the young lady in this image, Natasha McKenna - she had a serious mental health condition. When anyone who is dealing with a serious mental health condition, there will be BAD DAYS. It takes a mountain to move to manage when days go tough. Somewhere those people, they have a brevity of clarity and feel (and say to themselves) "I can get through this..." and they get outside to do what thing they want to do, like run a simple errand, i.e. buy food at the grocery store.

Seriously, I fucking know. It takes EVERYTHING in the world for me to get out and calculate how to hand stupid people, some in authortarian positions for me not curse their dumbasses out today, just to get some eggs at the store where I live. All I have to do is cross the street to get to my store and "GTFI and GTFO". The mental games I have to do on bad days include: not looking people in the eye, staying humble, razor-sharp focus, ZERO DAWDLING, don't mumble shit to myself, nod my head as passer-bys that get my attention, and when necessary questions are asked the answers are limited to "Yes/No" sometimes +/- smile and no chit-chat. That is how it is where I live. That is my community. That is why I HATE that place. These mental exercises exhaust me and yes, I've told my psychiatrist this is a problem for me. Of course cultural competency in mental health is absent, so he hasn't a clue of what to tell me.

The other issue is you don't say the same thing to a diabetic, or someone physically disabled. This isn't about physical ableism that is encountered because individuals that have those challenges may have some similarities but many a different set of issues than those who have mental health issues alone.

However, for her condition: How do you continue to make it everyday when you know you have a medical condition and just one day, it goes bad for you that you might lose your life?

The other issue is you bottle those nasty thoughts so much so you stress out your system and it causes other chronic illnesses like cancer, heart disease, stroke, Parkinson's, etc.

Mental illness is not treatable by imprisonment. The illness itself is a prison. Research is working hard to find how to remove the illness and let the person be free to be themselves. If recalled correctly, Natasha had schizophrenia and some days, like other neurological illnesses (Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, etc.) are harder to manage solely by medications than other days. A comprehensive wellness plan needs to be managed, monitored and practiced that is tailor-made to each person.

Guess what? In current mental health systems that is absent at this time. It's is not that is cannot be done and people don't know how to do it -- it's more like there aren't enough trained and licensed professionals to do it. And unlicensed, peer trained is not enough. We need another way.

What is Natasha just did not have that bad day? Would she still be alive?

What do I do to get through it and run my errands?

I should have been exercising all along. But I think for her case and her community, that was not the environment. For my case, I do have an environment. Another issue is the health of the community that many city planners in some enlightened areas (Portland, Oregon and San Francisco, California) endorse the walkability of the community. Seattle in some parts do endorse that, and actually I live in an area that does, I think that is what keeps me alive. But I think Natasha McKenna did not have that. Time. And none of us have enough of it. Dedicate a time that it takes to do a fucking errand with an action plan. It's that serious. If it takes me 4 hours to buy eggs at the store, then guess what, it takes me 4 hours to buy eggs at the store. Do I feel bad about that? No. I got over it. Rushing fucks with my mental health condition. I stopped rushing. Moreover, I don't pack 50-eleventy other tasks I want to do with out a practice training round. I just stopped doing that. It is not worth for me to have a breakdown in the grocery story and 12 eggs that took me 4 hours to gear up to do it. But see, I can do that. MOST people work and have children they have to manage. So for those of us that have really BAD DAYS, action planning with a strict schedule so the scattered thinking doesn't occur HELPS for like 60% of the time. Then, always, always, always have contingency plans. Like no eggs at store A... Maybe try "Egg Whites", maybe try Tofu (firm), Maybe say no eggs! What about you need the eggs to make a cake, perhaps there's time to buy that cake? Whatever it is, just get over the fact your plans failed you and move on. Mindfuless helps with that. Cursing out the grocery store clerks about not having eggs is just...So not worth it. Sometimes a short commentary to yourself to help you get through the little irritations like that keeps you going. A meme works. Something, because dying over 12 eggs because you had a breakdown in the grocery store and the police were called, there's no need for that escalation! These police don't care. There are procedures. But they are not trained in mental health anything. What are they there for? Maintain the community to organized citizenry conduct. The politicians are to run the community and legislate for the community. Justice is there to uphold the laws. But lately they've been nickel and dimeing citizens for revenues. Well maybe that process is going to have to stop and property tax revenues need to increase. Yeah, that's sucks, but guess what, I'd pay for peace and peace of mind. I don't want to have a breakdown in the middle of the grocery store over eggs, but you know what, if I was allowed to have that pity party temper tantrum for 30 minutes or so, it would give me peace of mind that I would not be dead because of it by the police. And it is not right that I had a breakdown, I'm an adult, and I try to do all I can to keep myself straight, but sometimes, I have a bad day. About the only thing I can clock accurately is how long I give myself permission to have my breakdowns. I can't predict them, but when I do, I know how long I'm going to tolerate that bullshit I deliver to move on and do it in a safe-space (like my bathroom where I can get that shit outta me. I made that promise to myself... Perhaps a bracelet of safety-card for mental health with a WRAP? IDK?

Saturday, November 22, 2014

Sunshiny thoughts are good! What's wrong with that? Perhaps your RNAs are too negative in your #depression

When you are dealing a serious mental health condition, especially depression, your mind drones on and on in a negative spiral down to hurt and pain. I know. Been there, done that and got a T-shirt.

But let me use my DOCTORATE in molecular genetics and TELL you that most mental health conditions eventually affect your brain chemistry. YOUR BRAIN IS AN ORGAN TOO AND IT GETS SICK!
What happens with the negative droning thoughts is your RNA in your brain moves and aggregates that sits on your brain cells that think with emotion and sits on top of the cells choking out the healthy RNA.

It's the whole reason why Lithium works.

So, if you choose to manage your mental health condition in the absence of conventional treatments, one way to work through when your brain isn't a cloud is to be ALL POSITIVE!

Positive thinking along with meditation requires writing only in the positive. For some reason social media coding causes depression because there's a differential on how our brains process the coding. A combination of puzzle solutions, with learning behaviors, thought processes that lack emotion and creativity but it taps that center...

I learned that when I refrain from the words, "No" and "Not"  anything in the negative, then my mood improves.

When take a reflective moment using environmental music, they my mood will improve.

When I'm flooded, I need to log off.

But reading depression posts are not fun for me because I get sick. However, the people writing them need to do that and I just want to say that there is another way. If it works for you, great, you have another tool in your arsenal. But if my process fails for you, then there are other GOOD opportunities and tools you can us.

I just want to say, keep writing if you have to, but like others say, I am with you. :)

Sunday, November 9, 2014

This Is What I Mean When I Say 'White Feminism' << Black Women's Mental Health Perspective

From Blog (x)

This Is What I Mean When I Say 'White Feminism'

1) This is a really good article and I wish I had known about it when it was first posted. The image is exceptional and while it may require revision, the utaamawazo is set. (Marimba Ani)

2) What I think this article says about Black Women's Mental Health Care directly aligns of cultural competency. Most therapists who treat women, are NOT BLACK unless you are VERY LUCKY to find one and/or be assigned one by your health insurance.

That said, say you, as a Black Woman deal with work stress related to White Supremacy and White Privilege, then ADD the complex layer of dealing with a complex mental health condition, like bipolar, how much of the episode is related to the pathology of stress, bigotry and sexism, and the biology of bipolar?

See because when you're bipolar, if you want to stop trying to commit suicide and stop winding up in a mental hospital or worse (prison), then you have to make HUGE LIFESTYLE changes, that include therapy, diet, sleep patterns, mindfulness, motivation, and loved one support, etc. That is if you don't want to DIE due to suicide. That ALONE is a MEDICAL reason that bigotry and privilege HAVE NO PLACE in mental health care.

But when you don't know you are "white privileged", you do not know. A cognitive dissonance.

The most RECENT case I give is a white man had the audacity to force me to get out of line to purchase a movie ticket when I was ahead of him.

Aside that I made an error in READING the movie I wanted to see time, and the theater ticket seller was attempting to assist me and my cousin, this fool thinks he can speak to me in that manner. I was in MY home community which is becoming more diverse with Chinese, Southeast Asian and Eastern European. And this FOOL thought I was inappropriate.

Well, if I wanted to buy into his small mind, I KNOW (some) KARATE, and I am also CRAZY! If I punched him, who'd go to jail? Me.

So when I talked to my therapist about it, while she understood and was compassionate about the racism and sexism that was inflicted upon me, she did not GET how much it pained me inside and eats at my very soul with a historical context...and I remember the look on her eyes that she did not know WHAT to say. I also know that they don't teach that in social worker's school. It takes a cultural competence to have the euphemistic commentary brush off the pain even if it is a temporary band-aid, like "Just one less person to think about at Christmastime"...

A Black Woman therapist would say the commentary if they understood it... I have yet to meet a Black Woman therapist that is clueless about her culture. Social Worker school is a PRIVILEGED MISOGYNISTIC HELL and so are the exams. So there is a level of understanding what kind of plantation you are on, just LONG enough to get your degrees and then a reputable job.

Like my Ph.D. education in molecular genetics, burn out is high, then complex it with patient load while staying compliant.

3) While this article is mainly a sociological one, it has to be applied healthcare-wise because there are a number of WoC's that do suffer from mental health conditions, and there is a cultural competence based on certain amount of identification acceptance - i.e. if the woman has anxiety and she is biracial where her father is white, and the woman chooses to accept her mother's ethnicity, knowing what her father is, it makes it some way to find treatment. But in healthcare, there needs to be studies and guess what? NO STUDIES! :) Or nothing significant. THEN is it healthy AND then we are not monolithic.

4) I do know as a patient, that understanding the BIOMEDICAL issue(s) of mental health condition(s), that therapy design to ADDRESS that alone based on the symptoms I report to my provider CAN BE TREATED! At minimum, that is what ALL people should expect with these mental health conditions.

5) All this to say, while there is White Feminism and it can impede OPTIMAL mental health care, the way to redirect treatment is to demand that the condition be treated as the biomedical indications - try to understand WHY they hand you books and papers.

Sunday, September 14, 2014


Lead image for the article
This Seattle Times article is misleading. 

The title is:

Race and police: Four Seattle-area families share concerns post-Ferguson

The shooting of an unarmed black teen by a police officer in Ferguson, Mo., highlights the concerns of parents of African-American and mixed-race youths. Four area families speak with The Seattle Times about their concerns.

Seattle Times staff reporter

When you read the article as an informed and intelligent Seattleite, your thinking easily would lead you, to believe, "are the police in my area aggressive toward Black children"?
Based on many discussions on Facebook and Black Twitter, this article would be read with great enthusiasm.
"Keep your hands in view. Don’t make any sudden moves. Don’t reach into your pockets, or for the glove compartment. Even if you’re in the right, save that argument for another day — to ensure that another day will come."

However, the families interviews are NO REPRESENTATION OF WHAT HAPPENED IN FERGUSON, MO. It's as if, Seattle Times got their news from the Fox News Channel with Don Lemon and just used that as their background research.

Sure, there are anecdotal stories glossed over about the microaggressions encountered in Seattle. Based on these family's interviews they have encountered microaggressions from bigots, or own people and colorism, and ignorant people.  However, in a White Supremacist system, one never knows who will say and do bigoted stuff and this article missed that fact or just did not care, which makes the article a microaggression.

And the imagery used for this entire article shows exactly why I HATE SEATTLE!

I can't move, I can't live anywhere else without my husband. My husband is doing well here. I have no friends, no life, and huge worries about fools harassing me due to microagressions, like the oxygen thief that pushed me out of the movie line when I was deciding a movie this year...

This article does not speak to what is going on and the consensus of thought behind what happened in Ferguson. What this article does is paint a false picture of our rosiness in Seattle.

1) The multiethic, one black parent theme displayed with biracial children automatically suggests privilege. These people don't live in a racially charged environment, like Ferguson that made it's money off of tickets and fines on Black people who they caught, which suggests a targeting. And individuals who were targeted were ALWAYS on the radar, which suggests an overpolicing much like that in New York with Eric Garner. That does not happen here in Seattle, people from other cities come from over-policing situations and it's like they have PTSD as it relates to cops. I do. When I was a part of forming the Seattle Urban League Young Professionals in 2005, at an event, a young black woman got into an argument over bowling shoes. No one came to her aid. Then she called the police. I questioned what kind of event was SULYP running and I was ostracized. I don't want to be around people who think that it is okay to come to someone's business and act crazy? I was there to have a good time. Apparently, I was the only one. But at that time, no one in this "professional group" understood that escalation of a situation involving people is not a smart thing for African Americans that are in small numbers in Seattle to start off with. Don't get me started of what looks like a "crabs in a barrel mentality" in this city, which makes no sense because there isn't just one of 2 of us and I thought we need to both make it. I was wrong. Another reason why I HATE SEATTLE.

2) If anyone can suffer reading this trash article and gain an understanding of what the interviewees think, you will find that it's superficial. Not the reality of tear gas canisters landing on your front lawn and people being told to go home, when that is your home...

3) Where are the police in this discussion? Were there any? Um... No... The problems in Ferguson are due to piss poor law enforcement training and negative racial undertones. Anyone who has worked in social justice can see that. But the fact is, Seattle Times didn't even speak to the family of the John T. Williams, the Native American woodcarver shot dead by Seattle PD. That is the best example of how Ferguson and Seattle may be similar with police issues. There is also the Latino beaten down. Did the writer DO the necessary background research?

Which makes me wonder, why did Seattle Times write this BS article?

To soothe the souls of White Supremacists that own his dishrag of a news paper and inform the multiethnis/racial children that they do not pass for white enough...

There is a colorism issue in Seattle often swept under the rug. It is condoned to progress in this city if the paradigm is not fit. It's promulgated by the corporate industries that move it forward and the young people protest things that make no difference or are ineffective toward change.

That doesn't mean there are not well-meaning people, but if I refuse to fit in BS circles in this city, then guess what? I'm ostracized. People who hit hard times are ignored and as far as friendships, they are absent with this thing called the "Seattle Freeze" -- the people are polite, but not very inclusive. And it's sad to say that the one thing that could bring the people of Seattle closer might be an earth moving disaster, but given that that has happened, we are no closer to those people. "What's Oso?"

I have never had to second guess and have my words minced before than this passive aggressive place, BUT THAT IS WHY I HATE SEATTLE FOR THIS VERY REASON ALONE.

You decide.

Family stories used for a police brutality against Black children

Family stories used for a police brutality against Black children

Family stories used for a police brutality against Black children

Saturday, September 13, 2014


Read a great series of Tweets of the sociological ramifications of suicide ideation among African Americans.

Black People and Suicide by GradientLair

I have been working on mental health and suicide ideation for MYSELF for over 30+ years of my life. Bipolar diagnosis. Yes, I have to take medication for that. I chose that option, because I did molecular genetic research in neurology to understand WTF is going on with me. I found my drugs, I spoke to the professionals about what was happen. I told them how to give me better treatment. I have a few therapists that actually taken it upon themselves to help me to where I've gotten better. Some where I had to get a new therapist. It's MY health, so how am I going to get better since I don't want the training?

But I hear causes to why Black people kill themselves like that's the biggest atrocity in the Universe and I get tired of hearing that. FUCK STIGMA!

Fact is, the STRONG DESIRE to want to kill one's self is bottomline a BIOLOGICAL ONE!



So why are you doing it to someone that wants to try to kill themselves? They are sick. They need help. Has judging them worked?

And yes, I know what its like to desire to commit suicide. I attempted starting at 14 years old until 19 years old and just said to myself I don't care what mental illness stigma does to me, I WANT TO LIVE.

If I wanted to live till I was 46 years old -- what I am today with a DOCTORATE in molecular genetics, then I needed to get professionally licensed care.

Biology doesn't change or differ in humans THAT much. Which means the standards of care can be met by whoever treats you. That's when the sociology and cultural competency comes into play -- AFTER ONE IS STABLE!

I've written and written and written and written some more about this. NO ONE READS IT!


Why do I continue?

For the next little Black girl who thinks suicide is a good thing... If this message gets to you, and you're feeling down,

1) Go to Metanoia and read it.

2) Call 911 or 1-800-273-TALK -- I don't care, just do it!

3) And once you're stable, it's YOUR HEALTH and FUCK STIGMA!

4) Let's start working on how to get you better. Usually it takes a couple of courses to even understand. Then it takes you doing a few mood trackers. I've used this one for free, there are others.
You can do pencil and paper. And show your providers.

5) If it is environmental...Like you live in a place that drives you crazy, just do a blog series of how much you hate it. Get it out of you. Don't let bad tapes/CDs/playlists fester inside your head. Get it out. Physical fitness with light weight training is really good for that and remember to hydrate.

That's all I'm going to give for now. But visit me on Facebook.