Monday, April 24, 2017

What is non attachment anyway?

by Janet Louise via Dr. Cherry C

A Buddhist principle that enables us to be in control of our emotions, instead of the other way around. Through non attachment, our focus shifts from everything beyond our control, worrying, stress, and anxiety and our attachment to the outcome – to the present moment. An official definition might be to simply overcome or release attachment.
The ability to center yourself, a.k.a. becoming Self-Centered, is similar to non attachment in that you get to make a choice in how you respond. When you catch yourself responding or reacting in a way that doesn’t bring you peace, you center yourself and make a new choice. Perhaps you will choose to observe this time, rather than react.
This is a foreign concept to many, as it seems so backward from the way most of us were taught to interact with everything around us. Haven’t we been told that we ought to have compassion, consideration, and love for others?
Non attachment doesn’t require us to give those things up, but asks us to address them from a different perspective. No longer are you responding to life based on old programming, such as “I’m supposed to do it this way” or “What’s in this for me?”. Rather, you remove as much emotion as possible from a situation so that your judgment isn’t clouded.
As I’ve been learning how to practice non attachment, I’ve hit some speed bumps along the way. I used to casually say, “I don’t care”, which I understood to mean, “I am not emotionally involved in this situation, and I am not going to put any energy into the exaggeration of drama.” But, to the person on the receiving end of my statement, it came across as cold and uncaring.
One day I had an epiphany where I understood that I was expressing myself incorrectly. I should have been saying, “I care about you and how this affects you, but I am not attached to the outcome.” Can you see how that feels completely different for the recipient?
Another speed bump along the journey – I had a heartfelt conversation with a licensed social worker where I shared with her my aspirations to implement more non attachment in my life. She wasn’t very impressed, instead condemning this pursuit as a clinically diagnosable condition of ‘disassociative behavior.’
This experience reinforced to me how much conditioning and programming has taught us that we are to be emotionally engaged and attached to far more than is actually healthy for us. For example, if your best friend complains non-stop about her crappy life, and you regularly listen to her, and your feelings get dragged into it in such a way that you feel a genuine upset as she tells you her story – you are not being a good friend… contrary to popular belief… you are enabling your friend to continue to be a victim, and you are distracting yourself with unnecessary drama.
This is not the route to personal peace!
If you find yourself clinging to the past, to people, to things… you expend quite a bit of useless energy. Life flows much more easily if you can learn to practice non attachment.
So, how to practice non attachment?
Learn to understand why non attachment is beneficial.
Avoid forming new unhealthy attachments.
Look at your belief system and update any that no longer serve you.
End toxic relationships sooner rather than later.
Seek help for hoarding, pat rack, and overly sentimental tendencies.
Actively heal from trauma such as loss, abuse, illness and injury.
Stop fearing loss.
Stop seeking validation outside of yourself.
Practice self centering.
Learn to let go of feelings – process them, and allow them to dissipate.

Saturday, November 12, 2016

Sistah Mental Health & Wellness: Crazy Black Woman: Another reason WHY I HATE SEATTLE!


NO ONE CARED when it was Black woman who complain about police brutality. Of course she's all in the "wrong" according to misogynorists and their female prostitutes... But, then there is this and dumbfuckasses need to pay heavily:

Sistah Mental Health & Wellness: Crazy Black Woman: Another reason WHY I HATE SEATTLE!: white supremacists do with their privilege to invoke a a choke hold on African American women in Seattle.

Seattle better get a grip of its hate or else it will be cinder blocks...

Don't be scared bigots. Preparation doesn't matter. It is the price that will be paid for the bigotry.

Original Article in case Seattle Times erases it.

Saturday, June 4, 2016

I had no idea of the straight-jacketing the mental healthcare profession is doing to people of color. 8 ideas that can help.

Rather than talk about how fucked up it is what they’re doing from this Atlantic and Mic articles, let’s talk about how you can circumvent the bullshit...
1. Yes, it’s your job to get an appointment by any means necessary even if it is with the god damn grand wizard of the Klan... At least you got documentation of seeking assistance for YOUR CARE OF YOUR BODY! Just how it is.

2. Tell your primary care physician of your difficulties. Make sure that mess is documented, too.

3. This is about paper trails. The racist system may not care and you may die at police hands, but you do have paper trail of ADVOCATING for yourself.

4. Yes. It’s fucked up, because you know, there is no bill of rights for mental healthcare for anyone... Your problem in neurological and your thoughts betray you. Fuckers manipulate that. That’s exactly what they’re playing because the business of mental health...
5. The business of mental health is fucked up big time. There aren’t enough providers, trained, willing, without not writing books and those who do care are flim flam -- some people like me are bullied off social media for voicing these strong positions. But I’ve played the system before computers and social media and I thought, hmm, so many people coming out on social media could be helped to feel better with qualified treatment options. NO. I was wrong. Flim flam men wanted to straight-jacket me because what I proposed doesn’t make money for them... :) Reality.

6. So, here’s what you do, you go in with your top 10 concerns, written and documents, what you feel you need. Fuck the bullshit about how shitty your childhood was because you won’t get treated. What you need is some EXACT measures to get you back to stability and NOT “leave your job when you can’t” -- more like development of a WELLNESS RECOVERY ACTION PLAN -- a mental health advance directive. Then after 5 visits, then you can talk about “leave your stressors” stuff.
7. ASSUME you have homework. It’s your mental health and your body and you need help and guidance to get care to your wellness. Just like fitness, you have to find a way to get yourself out there and do what must be done to care for yourself. What you are exercising is mind. There are many ways to do it, but that is an exploration you work with your healthcare providers on -- especially if you are on psychotropic medications, like lithium, etc.

8. I have taken mindfulness courses to help me. I've learned that I like exercising outdoors, than in a gym. I've learned that telling my husband what's going on pre-empts him to be vigilant if I do stupid stuff. I've learned that if I want to feel better instantly, I call my mom just to hear her voice... Took me 30 years to figure out these concepts. And that says patience in yourself and any condition is required and give yourself, time. I know it sucks now, but BREATHE through this and patience. If it is too much, tell your providers of your actions. As long as your actions do not involve hurting yourself or others, then use resources. 

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Russell Wilson and Ciara

Why do they hate this couple? From Very Smart Brothas

This bashing of Black women who have made their own choices has got to stop.

Like me? Support me:

HORRIFIC MIGRAINES and what to do about them

What should you do? Be persistent. Do not let this interfere for your care and also do your part. Need more knowledge? Go here  >

Thursday, October 15, 2015


My paper was cited again. The same scientific research article that my mentor professor told me that no one will read or care about my research. My paper has been cited by other scientific researchers seven times in their articles, worldwide. So much for saying my science is worthless.

What gets me is I could have been the scientist to discover the developments that have been published since my first paper. I could have been the researcher to make an impact on science. I could have been if I could have let go of stupid, ignorant, white privileged microaggressions made to me by people that I prized, looked up to and hoped to be my mentors. Instead, the University of Washington in Seattle told me I'm nothing more than an "affirmative action" baby that has no ideas of my own or contributions to make to human disease or science.

That shit I've been hearing since I joined the Joint Doctoral program at San Diego State University and University of California, San Diego.

By my professors. By my colleagues and by my students I taught. Fucking white boys club to derail from science to tear down a Black woman. I was isolated and alone, only my clueless family who tireless got me through the program.

Everything started looking up when I transitioned to my first Post Doctoral program at the University of Texas, Southwestern Medical Center. Then all the stress, the anger, the rage and the lack of medical care caused by the mental anguish of racism, crashed down on me. Part of it was my fault. I was a fiend for science. I did not eat, I did not rest. I did not take care of myself, physically. I had no friends. I stopped trying. Then, BOOM! I wake up off the floor. I fainted. I may have had a seizure. I may have had a stroke. I don't know?

Either way, I had to get out of there.

Then I met my husband who lived in Seattle, WA and I got a job in this laboratory that studied DNA damage. Six months in, I beg for this tiny project. 2 years later, I emerge with a tiny paper. And that was when I was told, my research is meaningless.

I thought to myself, "Self, my research counts!" So I move to this high pressure lab and it was the biggest failure of my life. I evacuated that calm before the storm. My new professor was psychotic and he hated women and he called me the "N-word"!

My husband said he didn't want me working for that lab anymore. I agreed. I left.

Then in 2008, I had a brief stent in another lab that ended my career with animal research. I got laid off as an "at will" employee. The Black people I spoke to, gave me ZERO support. I was alone. I felt abandoned.

So, in life, I changed my life and left science. It was because of bigotry, racism and sexism. I want nothing to do with science. I still had a scientific mind, but active research was gone. I took me 4 years with many tears and therapy to come to the conclusion that I would be fine without science.

Why try to prove oneself to people who would never give you a chance despite all the work, tears, successes you'd do? Especially me, a bipolar person?

You know the crazy man's lab tried to label me dangerous? ASSHOLES! Typical for them.

Then in 2011, I get an email notice in my "Google Scholar's Alert" that my 2008 paper was cited. The paper no one would read.

Then it started trickling from there.

This latest citation shows interesting results about the mutated protein in mice that has DNA damage, and changes in lipids. The only discrepancy is, there is physiology that corresponds to diabetes, whereas, my research does show that in animals with no protein.

Either way, I want to say, "thank you" to Dr. Lebel for citing my research. I do not care if he shows my research is wrong, the fact is he read my paper and cited it. His citation is important to me.

Per his research: He indicated that he sees an organellular dysfunction of his protein that transverses the cytosome into various structures, like peroxisomes. Though he only has immunofluorescence to support his claims, and he would need EM to fully prove his claims, the idea is intriguing based on his fatty acid and precursor data that is increased in his animals.

A tidbit of data we never published was the pancreatic beta-cell islets were hypertrophied in our animals compared to wildtype animals fed a similar high-fat, high-sugar diet. The wildtype animals had enlarged beta-cell islets, for a diet-induced diabetes, but the beta-cell islets from Wrn knockout animals exploded. The Wrn knockout animals had the beta-cell hypertrophy months earlier.

The issue with diabetes is insulin cannot be released from the beta-cell. It was not clear to me how insulin was clogged in the pancreas, called secretagogue secretion and there are many diabetic drugs that unclog the secretagogue, but that was a cytosomal organelle unassociated with peroxisomes directly.

With this paper's implication, peroxisomes may serve some role in the secretion of insulin and other secretagogues in high-lipid moieties: pancreas, liver, and macrophages.

I believe that if these authors were to feed the diet to their animals, then look at the beta-cell islets at some point, they will find the implications for diabetes in the Werner Aging disease.  Diabetes in aging is a peroxisome disorder that starts with DNA damage. I have no proof, but based on all the literature I've read and remember, it was my working hypotheses. Of course I was going the other way, how proteins go into the cell.

I could not get funded for that. No support.

Anyhow, you can support me by purchasing a book from Amazon

Friday, October 2, 2015

The Oregon Shooter Made The Bad Choice to Kill And Was Not Mentally Ill

I have friends in this business and I use the services, but whenever there is another mass shooting, we go back on the stigma of mental illness.
First, replace mental illness with heart disease or cancer and see how far you get with your logic because mental illness is has a medically measurable pathology to it as assessed by health care providers. It requires treatment. It is a chronic condition.
The use of a gun as a weapon is the same for someone who has mental illness and someone who has cancer. Erroneous thoughts happen in both. Actually, how much measurement that is, I haven't seen definitive peer reviewed scientific evidence.
Then the fact that MOST people who do have mental health condition that are undergoing some kind of treatment are STILL lucid enough to determine right from wrong.
I do not believe in using a gun to solve my problems with cruel people. I'd rather stomp around angrily than to resort to gun use and violence. Nothing positive happens with a gun when people are assholes. My self-efficacy is strong enough to know, I'm not going to let some asshat get the best of me when I feel it is not worth my "lifeforce" energy. I can walk away. Pissed. But walk away. I can use mindfulness to stave my anger to move forward. It takes me awhile, but it's better off for me in the long run.
I grew up around guns, too. I've shot at ranges before. Not until I learned by vision was impaired due to a brain congenital defect did I stop practicing gun use with safety. What's the point if I can't see? And even if I could, it's still not for me.
so from my perspective, there does need gun control similar to that like a car with insurances, licenses, etc. What's wrong with that?
My friends who do know how to to use weapons well and my husband can speak more on it.
But this last guy, he made a choice. a bad choice. Which makes him have the ability to tell right from wrong. We'll never know because he's dead. But it looks like, that people who DO NOT GET MENTAL HEALTH treatment are the ones that act out. It looks like people who LAPSE in their mental health treatment act out. Not those of us who do.

Sunday, September 27, 2015

Mindfulness and Poverty

Living in the present brings one balance and harmony to a stressful life. As we meditate to become mindful, we learn a few things to live without, a self-control and a heightened self-efficacy. We want that in a stressful life to bring back its breath and rejuvenate us to continue our tasks.

But after reading these articles about poverty (x, x) - poor people are stigmatized by the rich as if their poverty is because they are weak and have no self-control. The myth that poor people cannot restrain themselves from frivolous consumption, as in spending government subsidies on fast foods and other items. All of this thinking is NOT TRUE!

Poor people are poor because of piss poor policies and injustices done to people. Poor governance of human capital that prizes human contribution and inclusion. Irrational narcissism that oppresses people less fortunate in life than what happens to other. It's an arrogance to condemn the poor and for those of us who are religious, specifically Christian, it is one of the greatest sins we wage against God and Jesus Christ.

In fact, poor people have to live in the present because they do not trust the future and it is uncertain as well as unstable. To save a little money for a future payment for say "school" when they finally get enough money, the program is no longer there. It was the difference to eating to survive and then hoarding and hiding money to a future of empty promises. Why trust that? Which means that poverty is more a systemic and organic issue than a weakness of will.

Poor people refrain from eating poor diets, in fact they eat healthier ones. Some dumb people will ask why are poor people fat as the reference women of color, specifically Black women, and never did it occur to them that most poor people might be in starvation response. That in starvation, the stomach protrusions through an enlarged liver to drive sugar production and dwindling bones could possibly be the reason why poor people can be overweight. To correct the starvation response requires high amounts of protein in palatable diets, which unfortunately protein sources are markedly scarce in impoverished environments. Moreover, forget alternative diets, like vegan or vegetarianism. Last checked, most poor people in urban areas cannot have livestock for consumption due to health concerns, and within two generations, the agricultural lifestyle is absent for a majority of people. Farming and ranching is done by corporations that rip off the small farmer who barely makes ends meet further enhancing food desserts.

However, poor people who manage to overcome their obstacles do it at their risk of stress that impacts their bodies, with heart disease and rapid aging. It is as if they know they are poor and it makes them sick so they struggle to not be poor. What would happen if they did not know?

That cocky behavior is manifested solely by the rich. A privilege to dominate over those who can't make decisions. It is as if we live in the FICTIONAL tale of "Oliver Twist" that if we give an impoverished child a better life, then perhaps they will become better. The issue is give JUSTICE to poor people than to create a heaven for them and to see it all defiled by their inability to see the longterm. A survival mentality from day-to-day to complex to higher brain function of prognostication takes education. And our society has failed in that.

Ironically, MINDFULNESS as practiced by Tibetan Buddhist Monks is to relinquish all worldly possession into a poverty of physical attributes and purse a life of solitude and meditation into the richness of the cosmos.

In order to be MINDFUL one has to be poor in physical wealth. For a Christian we are led by the Jesus' scripture, Mark 10:21:

Looking at him, Jesus felt a love (high regard, compassion) for him, and He said to him, “You lack one thing: go and sell all your property and give [the money] to the poor, and you will have [abundant] treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me [becoming My disciple, believing and trusting in Me and walking the same path of life that I walk].”

Today to be poor, though stigmatized by society, is to be rich in a spiritual sense. That poverty, though it can cause a rough, tough exterior, criminal in some respects, also brings a compassion in the spirit higher than any monetary richness can provide. No one likes being poor if they know about it or care about practicalities which are essential, i.e. shelter... Poverty builds lack of trust in people because resources are uncertain and unstable. However, living in the present gives hope for the future that tough times are not forever, and even if they are, the future works in forces more powerful than monetary treasures on this planet. It teaches us to love one another more, compassionately for justice to serve.