Thursday, July 24, 2014

We don't miss our air until we can't breathe... Breath is important.

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Beauty and the Bipolar. My Grandmother and Me.

This lovely picture is circa 1930 of a young Black girl who lived outside of Tallahassee.

The entire world before her. She loved to sing, dance and worship the Lord in Church. She wanted to go to nursing training school and did that for ~2 years until she met her husband.

From that point, her life became devoted to God, her husband and her children. She had 9 children.

There were times where the Black family could not make ends meet. Where the husband had to travel all over to make money. There were times that there was little food and magically she created a full course meal.

Then her husband got stable employment and a notable position, the woman returned to college and got her bachelor's degree in education, and after her last child was ~out of diapers, she taught school in her area.

The children who attended the school came from homes were the parents were worse off that her own family, but somehow, the kids her class excelled. The children who are now adults today, still recall fond memories of the teacher.

Then the grandchildren started being born. From the second oldest daughter to the first oldest son, then down to the second oldest son, and more. The grandchildren who grew near their grandmother remember how she loved them, but strongly from 1930's style discipline. The grandchildren who grew far from their grandmother did not quite completely understand her mentality until they became a lot older.

What was so remarkable about this woman? She was not famous. She was very opinionated. She sometimes seemed haughty. What was it all about?

GRANDMOTHER was resilient in spite of it all... She took the good with the bad. She prayed on it. The Bible was a reference book for all decisions made in the family. It had to follow within those guidelines. Over time, she found her voice, she expressed it in a pleasant manner, but astutely. Her behavior for her generation was like that of Coretta Scott King. In fact she met her... Resolute, stylish, her skin was tough through her trials, so when microaggressions were raised, she use them like that "Wipe Out" TV show obstacle course. And people would say all kinds of mean things to her. She should raise her head, proudly with her stance and quietly state, "They talked about Jesus Christ... You saw what they did to Him."

Living in the South, around White Supremacists racists, she recalled an incident when she was returning from somewhere on a dirt road when some White boys ran her off the road in their truck. She said if she did not jump out of the way, she would have been hit. But she broke her coccyx tailbone, the last bone in her vertabral column when she jumped. I think that hurt her emotionally as those were her experiences in racism.

Her education is what propelled her for debate. When she was a teenager, she could argue her points legitimately. However, this was Depression and early 1930s and women, especially Black Women had little or no agency to move beyond their dreams. The fact she got married very young, 1934 and the home was hard to keep, without God, somehow, it worked for my grandparents. How it worked, snippets are there.

The reality is, it was no picnic or sunshine for the two of them, but the fortitude and choices they made. I believe they were very smart, intellectually. But they had to be wise. My grandfather loved the Bible as much, but he knew how to speak eloquently with a commanding voice. My grandmother was more reserved, but you HEARD her words.

When I became a young adult, I had a chance to spend a lot of time with my grandparents. I did not grow up around them, so whenever I could, I'd leave Spelman and go to Daytona Beach to speak to them about life. I would not have graduated from Spelman if I did not visit my grandparents. My grandfather told me his expectations that resonated with me. My grandmother told me how to do it through the Lord, chapter and verse.

As I got older, I watched my grandmother's mannerisms, style and grace. They were not like my parents, not many of my parents contemporaries. They were not like anything I watched on television. My grandmother was too illustrious, too glamorous, and way too fabulous for the comprehension of anyone on television.

When she would visit my parents, she would love to shop for anything in the mall. She would go to Neiman Marcus and test the lotions and the snooty counter woman would remark with a microaggression, "that's blah blah blah expensive..."  My grandmother would happily reply, "Oh? Give me some more!"

Very few of my friends had elder women like that that they respected.

I was fortunate to have her prominent in my early adult life. Black women are finding their stance and voice in ways to achieve their dreams. I think that is amazing and important. I am of a different generation, where my generation barely has voice, but has a lot of agency. The younger women are just..."WOW!" However, I'm saddened to read their bitter tone sometimes, I catch myself with those feels, I'm amaze they can say it so succinctly and it is real, and it is painful without much recourse. I wonder how these women will stride through life. It's already hard. And to put on a happy face seems dumb and old. While one can catch more flies with sugar than with salt, these young ladies are tired of cowtowing to that. I agree, wholeheartedly. But is that the battle here? Or the war? Because if it is only the battle, being enraged and using your voice on blogs for it is short-lived and temporary and not a great strategy for winning this war.  Of course assuming there is war and if there should be one -- forget the fact that is a very male dominated construct.

I just go back wondering what my grandmother would say about all of this... She would say:

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12 My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water. ~James 3:9-12

Out of all the people who can work wonders on me without psychiatric degrees or any formal degrees in psychology, my grandmother calmed me when I was at my worst mental state with bipolar. 

I have to remember one of her favorite Bible verses was Proverbs 3:5

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

People around me can bash me, demean me, destroy me and hate me. But in the end, it is just me and they cannot touch that, because it belongs to God. 

That is the way I will continue living my life until I die.

Monday, July 14, 2014

More people have kidney stones because they are dehydrated.

pHion is the category leader when it pertains to pH balancing of the body.

More people are getting kidney stones because they are dehydrated. What can be done? Drink more water! How much depends on what your healthcare provider says. Generally 8 glasses per day or ~1-2 Liters per day. Good water. Clean water. Pure and balanced water.

Water - H2O is quintessential for life. We cannot survive without water. When we fail to consume adequate amounts of water, we suffer. Water = Life. It is the conduit to our soul. So if you have clean water, you are truly blessed and you should drink it. If your water is not clean, that requires experiences beyond the scope of this blog. No offense to those who don't have clean water - I would not know?

As I understand it, it must be boiled, then filtered for potability. As to the process, I do not know. There are Iodine tablets, but they only last so long.

Water as a resource of potability will be lacking in the future. We have not conserved our water. We must find ways to do that.

Saturday, June 28, 2014

Another reason WHY I HATE SEATTLE!

Woman says she accidentally kicked SPD cop who hit her | Local News | The Seattle Times

1) Woman and her "baby daddy" got into a heated argument at a friends house. The daddy left and she followed him. Both had too much to drink. He drove, but she walked to the baby daddy's house.

2) Police were called and an overseer stated someone had to be arrested and go to jail. He picked the woman and rassled her to the backseat where her foot slipped and hit him in the chin. He then punched her in the eye. She was in jail for 4 days and release without being charged.

3) This is PISS POOR news reporting and in HATE BLOGS run by white supremacist groups this story is seen as a "Nigger Whine"...


5) Couples argue and fight and it's not fair. Sure, there are MUCH BETTER WAYS to handle misbehavior as a couple, but without that knowledge, people don't JUST KNOW! Especially if one's upbringing was NOT to argue fairly without raising one's voice -- using one's words. Anger is abundant as is resentment. It takes a long time to learn how to have verbal spats with out the logic fallacy of vehemence.


^^^^This would be called domestic violence!

Moreover, this is really TONE POLICING... It's what white supremacists do with their privilege to invoke a a choke hold on African American women in Seattle.

Seattle better get a grip of its hate or else it will be cinder blocks...

Don't be scared bigots. Preparation doesn't matter. It is the price that will be paid for the bigotry.

Original Article in case Seattle Times erases it.

Woman Says She Accidentally Kicked SPD Cop Who Hit Her _ Local News _ the Seattle Times

Sunday, June 15, 2014

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Thursday, June 12, 2014

I HATE SEATTLE! Another episode...

I've been forced to live in Seattle for 11 years. I've lost my career I have been trained to do, I've lost my support systems, I've lost my friends. I am damn near about to lose my mind and somehow, I keep living for another day.

Seattle SUCKS for Black Women living here. It SUCKS for me and I'm married! I cannot imagine the HELL some Black Women suffer who are single.

It may be a product of where I live, too. I live near Microsoft. The corporation is fine as I do not work there, but the surrounding areas and the people SUCK!


And I've really tried to make the best of it. I've gotten involved. I've done community service. I've tried to build my business in social media and entertainment. I'll do whatever I can to make a positive change to participation!

Then I see this youtube:

And I wonder, how much racist microaggressions must I endure that explains why I HATE SEATTLE!

And this is NOT about the guy who teaches this class or even the high school students or the producers of this video. My rant is about ME and MY MENTAL HEALTH that SUFFERS under a oppressive system that I endure while living in the South North Pole! 

They said that this class is about the larger community. The fact there are white people TRYING to make it better says something, even to me. And I can admit that mental healthwise, there are things I must overcome in therapy that have nothing to do with bigotry and racism I have endured here in Seattle that I don't in other COUNTRIES, but the people in Seattle are BIGOTS in these nooks and crannies, chiefly where I live and other places.

They have this FUCKED up attitude. That if I was someone in social justice, I'd literally ruin their life just because. I'd obliterate them. Like that butthead fuck that came up to me when I was deciding which movie to go to and told me to get out of line so he can buy his ticket!

  • He wouldn't have done it if we are white
  • He damn sure would not have done it if my husband was there

But he thought that I would not physically assault his bitchass when he literally stood by me hovering telling me to get out of the movie ticket line all in my personal space! Who yells at anyone queued up in a movie ticket line? And this crazy man did.

I am nearly 50 years old. I don't do much arguing and fighting lately. In this instance, I did not say a word. I did not raise my fist. He was old and he probably did not have must life in him anyway. I did the RIGHT thing and I did NOT engage him.

The movie ticket seller spoke up in my defense and asked the man to move back. That is the ONLY thing that stopped me from bashing that man.


Assholes who think they can speak to me. Assholes who think they can speak to me any kind of way. And they're lucky I don't pop off. Because the last time I did, the ASSHOLE felt he should call the police.

I'm not conniving, and "too whom the gods wish to destroy, they must first make them angry..." So if I kept my cool, and sneered, these ASSHOLES still will call the police! And who are the police going to listen to? Me a "young-looking" somewhat overweight Black Woman accused of assault? Or an old sickly white man being an asshole?



It's like FUCK my doctorate education. FUCK my experience traveling around the world with my husband, and FUCK my family!

If you are a Black Woman in SEATTLE, married or not, educated or not; an ASSHOLE WHITE PERSON can accuse you of bullshit and the police won't give a shit about you, even if you're out of control or if you're not.

It's like Orange Is The New Black here... Don't live here.


Friday, June 6, 2014

Do Nice Black Guys Deserve To Be Friend Zoned?

Ok. So I guess I have a VERY different view of this meme...

I've dated the "HOT BLACK Males" -- the ones you want...

Do you know what you have to DO to KEEP "HOT BLACK Male" like that? SACRIFICE ALL YOUR MORALS and I literally mean ANY integrity you have inside yourself to have a "HOT BLACK Male".

What type of male are we talking about?

  • Professional athletes. 
  • Ultra Rich Black men who can buy serious money type stuff: houses, yachts, lavish Great Gatsby type parties.
  • Major politicians with $1000+ plate dinners where you meet dignitaries. 

I've dated my share - let me make this clear, I had a chance to be flown somewhere where this guy had my formal dress in order to shake the hands of the King and Queen of Sweden. I said, "No." because that scared the shit out of me:

  1. My dad taught me: NEVER let a man who is not your husband buy you clothes; 
  2. I only met this guy ONCE and he was offering me this  and I checked his background seriously, so he wasn't bullshitting on his capabilities. 
  3. I knew he wanted arm-candy and when I was young, I was rather attractive, so what?  
  4. Once you let a man that you are dating paying for things like your lifestyle and you're not married to him or committed exclusive or something, you RISK your autonomy - i.e. you don't get input anymore and I can get caught up into that easily - like an addict. So I had stopgap measurements in place. Besides, how did I know he wasn't lying? He had not PROVED to me he was a "nice guy", yet...

I was never into rappers and actors - that life was after my time and seriously not my taste - I was more into production folks: yes, the ones who are the Executives the movies - they pay to make them.

When I see this meme, I think to myself that after being shitted up on by these "HOT Black Males" at a time in my life I needed someone the most -- where I was in the hospital emergency room by myself with a seizure and I had to name a "friend" - these "HOT BLACK Males" you fantasize about disappeared...

The "nice guy" was there for me... The nice guy helped me get through one of the toughest times my life.

You can think all you want about this:

  • He's funny looking
  • Awkward
  • Boring
  • Creepy weird
  • Lacks conversation
  • A turn off

You can discount these type a guys, but these type of guys WILL LOVE you if that's what you want... These type of guys WILL do EVERYTHING in their power to make YOU HAPPY!

NICE guys do PROVE why they are nice and you will know and if you don't want that, be HONEST with yourself and say, that's not what you want... It's okay to NOT have a nice guy.

In fact you can TELL a nice guy that you do want a roughneck thug (in the bedroom) -- of course that's a "real roleplay" you'd have to rock out on... But hey "50 Shades"!

How do I know?

I'm Dr. G M.-S. and I've been married for 11 years... And I just got back from a dream trip in Australia with my husband...

Embrace your inner nerd girl. Ain't nothing wrong with that. And the funny thing is,

  1. You can train them... 
  2. They're very smart and fast learners. 
  6. They are handymen... You'd have to understand that.


Thursday, May 29, 2014

My Review of "Change My Race" - Documentary about Australian-#Asians

From Australia's SBS by Anna Choy

Change My Race (Part 1) by Sablicious

Anna Choy creates a documentary about being Asian in Australia and what is considered beautiful under a European ideal. Overall, the documentary is intriguing. Background is that Anna Choy herself is "biracial" - her mother is Caucasian, her father is Chinese and she grew up in Australia. She is married/partnered and has a child.

It sounded like she was jaded by her "Asian" characteristics. What is refreshing is seeing other races besides mine discuss racial politics. The documentary opens with a Caucasian woman from a local university, Dr. Meredith Jones.

But travels to the Asian Cosmetic Surgery Capital of the world in South Korea. They had a listing of all services including, Orthognactic procedure. One doctor, Dr. Joo Kwon does angle resection for a "baby face". That is one does not do well to take care of themselves, they are being "ugly by choice". A lot of people are doing "face smashing". It is a more attractive person, but less Asian.

Moving back to Australia, several Asian women and girls were interviewed on their ideas about cosmetic surgery. Why destroy functional attractive faces. Psychologist Roberta Honigman says there is a nexus between medicine and culture. Doctors enable peopel who feel they need to "fix" the aesthetics of their bodies - i.e. surgery is not medical necessary. She stated that in the 1910s-1920s in America, Jewish and Irish immigrants would use these procedures to be a part of the culture. Immigrants want to help children for maximum opportunity.

Growing up Asian in a predominantly White communities, Asians are not expecting the faces they see - the eyes, nose and in some ways mouth.

Only similarity to what we do as African Americans is bleaching cream.

Many Asian Australians feel Australian, but don't at time. They still feel like foreigners.

Chloe Munoz who is a modeling casting agent says White Women from Australia would sell more magazines on covers.

More lighter skin is a status of wealth. Not working in the fields. It is ideal human, people of color are a variation of human.

Beauty works on a subconscious level.

Ruby Hamad as a feminist got plastic surgery on her nose to look less Arab or Middle Eastern. Did she choose to grow up into an environment that was not hers with that influence?

We no longer look like our parents children and your children will not look like you.

The producer for this show was Julia Redwood.

What I thought about the documentary content? I felt sad. My thoughts are that Asians are stronger than that. They are better people than they give themselves credit to do. They survive by placating white people, but they never really will be able to completely do it. From my point of view, many various countries in Asia are outmaneuvering America and other countries with their capital enterprises.

Asian women do not have to aspire looking more White to be attractive. Where is that pressure coming from? In the documentary, it was said it was from the family to give them opportunity. But I don't believe that, I think it comes from men. It is a "misogyno-jeune" like "misogynoir" but from Asian men. Men pedestalized Blonde Hair-Blue Eyed women. And since the stereotype of Asian women are as subservient, have they placated their men? I don't know? I know Black women won't placate their men worth a damn. At the same time, our relationships are lacking.

However, no one can dictate how another person feels about their race or ethnic group. That person needs to define it for themselves.