SLIGHT VINDICATION MAYBE...
NO ONE CARED when it was Black woman who complain about police brutality. Of course she's all in the "wrong" according to misogynorists and their female prostitutes... But, then there is this and dumbfuckasses need to pay heavily: http://paypal.me/SWAG77/100:
Sistah Mental Health & Wellness: Crazy Black Woman: Another reason WHY I HATE SEATTLE!: white supremacists do with their privilege to invoke a a choke hold on African American women in Seattle.
Seattle better get a grip of its hate or else it will be cinder blocks...
Don't be scared bigots. Preparation doesn't matter. It is the price that will be paid for the bigotry.
Original Article in case Seattle Times erases it.
Saturday, November 12, 2016
Saturday, June 4, 2016
Tuesday, March 15, 2016
Thursday, October 15, 2015
WARNING: RANT - DIABETES IS A PEROXISOME DISORDER WITH DNA DAMAGE ORIGINS or WHY SCIENCE IS KILLED BY BIGOTRY, RACISM AND SEXISM
My paper was cited again. The same scientific research article that my mentor professor told me that no one will read or care about my research. My paper has been cited by other scientific researchers seven times in their articles, worldwide. So much for saying my science is worthless.
What gets me is I could have been the scientist to discover the developments that have been published since my first paper. I could have been the researcher to make an impact on science. I could have been if I could have let go of stupid, ignorant, white privileged microaggressions made to me by people that I prized, looked up to and hoped to be my mentors. Instead, the University of Washington in Seattle told me I'm nothing more than an "affirmative action" baby that has no ideas of my own or contributions to make to human disease or science.
That shit I've been hearing since I joined the Joint Doctoral program at San Diego State University and University of California, San Diego.
By my professors. By my colleagues and by my students I taught. Fucking white boys club to derail from science to tear down a Black woman. I was isolated and alone, only my clueless family who tireless got me through the program.
Everything started looking up when I transitioned to my first Post Doctoral program at the University of Texas, Southwestern Medical Center. Then all the stress, the anger, the rage and the lack of medical care caused by the mental anguish of racism, crashed down on me. Part of it was my fault. I was a fiend for science. I did not eat, I did not rest. I did not take care of myself, physically. I had no friends. I stopped trying. Then, BOOM! I wake up off the floor. I fainted. I may have had a seizure. I may have had a stroke. I don't know?
Either way, I had to get out of there.
Then I met my husband who lived in Seattle, WA and I got a job in this laboratory that studied DNA damage. Six months in, I beg for this tiny project. 2 years later, I emerge with a tiny paper. And that was when I was told, my research is meaningless.
I thought to myself, "Self, my research counts!" So I move to this high pressure lab and it was the biggest failure of my life. I evacuated that calm before the storm. My new professor was psychotic and he hated women and he called me the "N-word"!
My husband said he didn't want me working for that lab anymore. I agreed. I left.
Then in 2008, I had a brief stent in another lab that ended my career with animal research. I got laid off as an "at will" employee. The Black people I spoke to, gave me ZERO support. I was alone. I felt abandoned.
So, in life, I changed my life and left science. It was because of bigotry, racism and sexism. I want nothing to do with science. I still had a scientific mind, but active research was gone. I took me 4 years with many tears and therapy to come to the conclusion that I would be fine without science.
Why try to prove oneself to people who would never give you a chance despite all the work, tears, successes you'd do? Especially me, a bipolar person?
You know the crazy man's lab tried to label me dangerous? ASSHOLES! Typical for them.
Then in 2011, I get an email notice in my "Google Scholar's Alert" that my 2008 paper was cited. The paper no one would read.
Then it started trickling from there.
This latest citation shows interesting results about the mutated protein in mice that has DNA damage, and changes in lipids. The only discrepancy is, there is physiology that corresponds to diabetes, whereas, my research does show that in animals with no protein.
Either way, I want to say, "thank you" to Dr. Lebel for citing my research. I do not care if he shows my research is wrong, the fact is he read my paper and cited it. His citation is important to me.
Per his research: He indicated that he sees an organellular dysfunction of his protein that transverses the cytosome into various structures, like peroxisomes. Though he only has immunofluorescence to support his claims, and he would need EM to fully prove his claims, the idea is intriguing based on his fatty acid and precursor data that is increased in his animals.
A tidbit of data we never published was the pancreatic beta-cell islets were hypertrophied in our animals compared to wildtype animals fed a similar high-fat, high-sugar diet. The wildtype animals had enlarged beta-cell islets, for a diet-induced diabetes, but the beta-cell islets from Wrn knockout animals exploded. The Wrn knockout animals had the beta-cell hypertrophy months earlier.
The issue with diabetes is insulin cannot be released from the beta-cell. It was not clear to me how insulin was clogged in the pancreas, called secretagogue secretion and there are many diabetic drugs that unclog the secretagogue, but that was a cytosomal organelle unassociated with peroxisomes directly.
With this paper's implication, peroxisomes may serve some role in the secretion of insulin and other secretagogues in high-lipid moieties: pancreas, liver, and macrophages.
I believe that if these authors were to feed the diet to their animals, then look at the beta-cell islets at some point, they will find the implications for diabetes in the Werner Aging disease. Diabetes in aging is a peroxisome disorder that starts with DNA damage. I have no proof, but based on all the literature I've read and remember, it was my working hypotheses. Of course I was going the other way, how proteins go into the cell.
I could not get funded for that. No support.
Anyhow, you can support me by purchasing a book from Amazon
at 3:16 PM
Friday, October 2, 2015
I have friends in this business and I use the services, but whenever there is another mass shooting, we go back on the stigma of mental illness.
First, replace mental illness with heart disease or cancer and see how far you get with your logic because mental illness is has a medically measurable pathology to it as assessed by health care providers. It requires treatment. It is a chronic condition.
The use of a gun as a weapon is the same for someone who has mental illness and someone who has cancer. Erroneous thoughts happen in both. Actually, how much measurement that is, I haven't seen definitive peer reviewed scientific evidence.
Then the fact that MOST people who do have mental health condition that are undergoing some kind of treatment are STILL lucid enough to determine right from wrong.
I do not believe in using a gun to solve my problems with cruel people. I'd rather stomp around angrily than to resort to gun use and violence. Nothing positive happens with a gun when people are assholes. My self-efficacy is strong enough to know, I'm not going to let some asshat get the best of me when I feel it is not worth my "lifeforce" energy. I can walk away. Pissed. But walk away. I can use mindfulness to stave my anger to move forward. It takes me awhile, but it's better off for me in the long run.
I grew up around guns, too. I've shot at ranges before. Not until I learned by vision was impaired due to a brain congenital defect did I stop practicing gun use with safety. What's the point if I can't see? And even if I could, it's still not for me.
so from my perspective, there does need gun control similar to that like a car with insurances, licenses, etc. What's wrong with that?
My friends who do know how to to use weapons well and my husband can speak more on it.
But this last guy, he made a choice. a bad choice. Which makes him have the ability to tell right from wrong. We'll never know because he's dead. But it looks like, that people who DO NOT GET MENTAL HEALTH treatment are the ones that act out. It looks like people who LAPSE in their mental health treatment act out. Not those of us who do.
at 4:25 PM
Sunday, September 27, 2015
Living in the present brings one balance and harmony to a stressful life. As we meditate to become mindful, we learn a few things to live without, a self-control and a heightened self-efficacy. We want that in a stressful life to bring back its breath and rejuvenate us to continue our tasks.
But after reading these articles about poverty (x, x) - poor people are stigmatized by the rich as if their poverty is because they are weak and have no self-control. The myth that poor people cannot restrain themselves from frivolous consumption, as in spending government subsidies on fast foods and other items. All of this thinking is NOT TRUE!
Poor people are poor because of piss poor policies and injustices done to people. Poor governance of human capital that prizes human contribution and inclusion. Irrational narcissism that oppresses people less fortunate in life than what happens to other. It's an arrogance to condemn the poor and for those of us who are religious, specifically Christian, it is one of the greatest sins we wage against God and Jesus Christ.
In fact, poor people have to live in the present because they do not trust the future and it is uncertain as well as unstable. To save a little money for a future payment for say "school" when they finally get enough money, the program is no longer there. It was the difference to eating to survive and then hoarding and hiding money to a future of empty promises. Why trust that? Which means that poverty is more a systemic and organic issue than a weakness of will.
Poor people refrain from eating poor diets, in fact they eat healthier ones. Some dumb people will ask why are poor people fat as the reference women of color, specifically Black women, and never did it occur to them that most poor people might be in starvation response. That in starvation, the stomach protrusions through an enlarged liver to drive sugar production and dwindling bones could possibly be the reason why poor people can be overweight. To correct the starvation response requires high amounts of protein in palatable diets, which unfortunately protein sources are markedly scarce in impoverished environments. Moreover, forget alternative diets, like vegan or vegetarianism. Last checked, most poor people in urban areas cannot have livestock for consumption due to health concerns, and within two generations, the agricultural lifestyle is absent for a majority of people. Farming and ranching is done by corporations that rip off the small farmer who barely makes ends meet further enhancing food desserts.
However, poor people who manage to overcome their obstacles do it at their risk of stress that impacts their bodies, with heart disease and rapid aging. It is as if they know they are poor and it makes them sick so they struggle to not be poor. What would happen if they did not know?
That cocky behavior is manifested solely by the rich. A privilege to dominate over those who can't make decisions. It is as if we live in the FICTIONAL tale of "Oliver Twist" that if we give an impoverished child a better life, then perhaps they will become better. The issue is give JUSTICE to poor people than to create a heaven for them and to see it all defiled by their inability to see the longterm. A survival mentality from day-to-day to complex to higher brain function of prognostication takes education. And our society has failed in that.
Ironically, MINDFULNESS as practiced by Tibetan Buddhist Monks is to relinquish all worldly possession into a poverty of physical attributes and purse a life of solitude and meditation into the richness of the cosmos.
In order to be MINDFUL one has to be poor in physical wealth. For a Christian we are led by the Jesus' scripture, Mark 10:21:
Looking at him, Jesus felt a love (high regard, compassion) for him, and He said to him, “You lack one thing: go and sell all your property and give [the money] to the poor, and you will have [abundant] treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me [becoming My disciple, believing and trusting in Me and walking the same path of life that I walk].”
Today to be poor, though stigmatized by society, is to be rich in a spiritual sense. That poverty, though it can cause a rough, tough exterior, criminal in some respects, also brings a compassion in the spirit higher than any monetary richness can provide. No one likes being poor if they know about it or care about practicalities which are essential, i.e. shelter... Poverty builds lack of trust in people because resources are uncertain and unstable. However, living in the present gives hope for the future that tough times are not forever, and even if they are, the future works in forces more powerful than monetary treasures on this planet. It teaches us to love one another more, compassionately for justice to serve.
at 4:49 PM
Friday, September 11, 2015
Natasha McKenna suffered from schizophrenia. She was not in recovery. She was never lucid. She did something that had her questioned by the law. She was in episode and went into mental health hospital for 10 days. The psychiatrist said she should be in the hospital for longer and that jail would be very bad for her. Law enforcement in Virginia disagreed and took her into custody where she went full blown psychotic episode, untreated and the facility was ill equipped to manage psychosis.
I am a research scientist with a doctorate in molecular genetics and I have bipolar which I have treated by a psychiatrist and a social worker in my health system. I have a wellness action recovery plan (WRAP) and I have a strong support network with sympathetic family and friends. I cannot imagine what it would be like to have something get that out of order for anyone to be placed in a dangerous environment such as a jail in full episode.
Did the mother KNOW her daughter would die in law enforcement's hands?
NEVER TRUST THE POLICE! NEVER TRUST LAW ENFORCEMENT! Get a lawyer and have legal representation.
What I know about schizophrenia is that the neurology is multigenetic, epigentic, environmental and a neurological mess. But I recall in my scientist days that there was this voltage gated-ion channel that misfires in the brain and has some impact on the erratic thinking, but it is also in the heart that stop a heart from beating. Stress -- like that seen in this youtube below activates it and being tasered, as Ms McKenna was can cause any voltage gated ion channel to "get stuck" open/closed for it to stop working properly to the point to stop the nerves and electrical conduction to contract. (reference)
In any case to throw out the charges from the law enforcement torturers that did an enhanced interrogation on Ms. McKenna, it makes me wonder how safe I am because I suffer from a mental health condition. Though my episodes and act outs are limited because my stress is minimized are far less than Ms. McKenna's it still worries me that that woman could be me. I am no different from her. It makes no difference other than fortune that has paved my way versus hers. Now she's dead. A lovely flower waiting to bloom with a chance snuffed out by jackbooted thugs. I don't care how they feel. Fuck them and fuck you if you disagree. Pay me to yell at me: http://bit.ly/sistah1
What to be done now? The lame Sherriff that needs to be voted out, is right, better crisis intervention. But that's still blaming the victims. Yes, more money for mental health services. But the 1% is psychotic themselves. What would make #BlackLivesMatter to these people? I don't know? It hurts and no one cares.
Well, I care. I know Ms. McKenna's mother does. A whole lot of us, do. But what else can we do to undergird this racist bigoted systemic issue? New votes won't matter. Protesting won't change. Writing, writing, writing, is not changing people. So we just have to realize that white supremacy is in play here and wait it out.
WARNING DO NOT WATCH THIS VIDEO IT IS A TRIGGER FOR ALL BLACK WOMEN WHO HAVE MENTAL HEALTH CONDITIONS
at 12:14 AM