Thursday, August 27, 2015

Good. Vester Flanagan is dead and he has no excuse. PAY ME:

Vester Flanagan

I don't care if people yell at me on the internet and call my blog bullshit to my face. I don't care if someone doxxs me over this asshat. I'm just going to say it:


He's dumb and he has nothing good about him. He killed the Parker girl who was a reporter and Ward the cameraman indiscriminately with extreme predjudice.





Grudge much?

What gets me is he was told he has some issues and he took that as a bashing and did not try to get help. He was let go. He acted out.

I know something about that.

At my job, they accused me of a bunch of stuff. Nevermind the fact that they lied about me. Nevermind the fact of the microaggressions they delivered to me. Nevermind the fact my boss gave me a 23 page manifesto email extoling his virtues and condemning me.

All I knew was to GTFO of that place.


My health was more important than a job I hated. Recent research says that taking on a hated job is not better than no job. It destroys so much. To define oneself by a job is pathetic. Do what you love. Find your passion. Your heart.

But Vester the the Molester needs to realize he messed up. So does his family. There is no excuse to what happened and he needs to own up to that. So does his family. Accountability must be taken.

And while the families of the other shooters did not take accountability, that does not absolve them. There is no reason why folks act out heinous acts such as these.

It makes no sense. Fact is, no one really cares. Still, this is wrong and accountability for mental illness needs to take on the onus.

I have bipolar. I take meds, I see a therapist. I attend groups if I need to. I read self-help books.

IDGAF if you don't have what I do. If I am leveraging privilege on you, or if I seem condescending:

That does not absolve me or your taking charge over our mental illness and moving toward positive action.

I must exercise. I must drink plenty of water. I must get consistent and restful sleep. I must do these things to be the best person I can be to help others. This is my duty, my treat to my joie du vivre.

This dummy CHOSE not to do that and that is what pisses me off. I don't care what his mentality was, he FAILED. Our system may have failed to, but he shot those people.

As far as gun control, I don't use guns to solve my problems. I have no problems that require a weapon. I don't fight wars, I'm not in a demilitarized zone, I'm in a nice place with a decent life to live out my existence. Guns do not figure into my life. And while there may be people in my area that use guns to control their lives, I'm not one of them.

That does not mean that guns are not present in my life. They are, like a diet, like being a vegetarian, I don't need to use guns. My choice.

I'm not a hunter, so...

But given I already have a mental health issue, that I work hard on to keep myself healthy, it's rather fucked up that an asshat destroys people and stigmatizes people with mental health issues further.

Reality is people like that have NEVER sought mental health care, they don't seek it out, they never seen a provider. So when they go crazy, it is by surprise as if no one knew.

But my rage is deeper than that: He is in a hard competitive field of news stations and reporting - where's his youtube channel? What's his hobbies? It is said he's gay, why didn't he write for gay newspapers if he's a reporter - they can use a professional reporter. Why didn't he start a business? He could have gotten the computer programs he needed to produce an online show. But for whatever reason, he decided to brood.

I know for me, I made a conscious choice to leave my position. I knew that if I left, I could not come back. I grieved, but now, I've moved on with my life. Am I still mad at a few people? Yes. But I think of it like this: JUST ONE LESS PERSON TO THINK ABOUT AT CHRISTMASTIME!


If I see them, I'll laugh at them. My life is 10000000000000000000 50-eleventy times better than theirs. Because see, I moved on. I didn't have to step on people for their wickedness to get ahead.

Call it my faith.

Call it whatever.

IDC about that. Because who am I living my life for anyway?


Sunday, August 16, 2015

#SHE: An Ode to The Black Woman

I think this is cute cos that’s all young men for you. We all feel the need for pairbonds and for love. Don’t miss your chance for it when you see it. And go into it with a positive outlook, even though it might become less than desired. No one is perfect. An intimate relationship in the bonds of marriage does take work. 

The criticism I have is as a Black woman, I don’t want to be diminished by my skin color. I’m not beautiful because I have melanin. Melanin accentuates my outwardly appearance that I have come to appreciate after my 47 years of life on this planet. I am beautiful because I’ve done lots of soul work shaped by my experiences in life, some based on racism and negativity, but also some based on love, compassion and care given to those I least thought cared that did not look like me. So to eliminate that is to be ungrateful and devalue me as a person. And when I see men say that to me, I cringe, because I know it’s not true. 

And then now I have a different perspective, because my husband who I married at a later age than most and we do not have children and he is a Black man, are incessantly mushy mushy goofy geeky silly in love. We don’t have a fantabulous life. I’m not doing my own thing like I was 15 years ago. He is the breadwinner of the home. There are reasons for that and ACTIVE choices I made and agreed to. Yes, I knew I was making these choices without knowing the end-game. But that’s life and nothing is promised. So you just move on and say, let’s make the best of what we’ve got and new memories. 

What can I say? Early in our marriage, my husband was learning how to handle my mood issues which is a very hard thing to do. He asked me, "What can I do to make you happy?"

I was in a breakdown pity party mood, tearful and my conscious woke up. I said, "Nothing." I could see his head drop, hurt, befuddled and confused. It was because he felt he had done everything he knew he could do to make me happy with him and my life happy. It was then I realized he did not understand the meaning behind my answer. I interjected. "You cannot make me happy, but you can contribute to my happiness and do things that make you happy. That in turn makes me happy for you. Because I like to see you happy, too."

He lifts he head and held me tight in his arms. That made me happy, and I think then, he realized my happiness was beyond purchasing items, but moments and experiences. My husband found my key to the "Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. You may disagree with the author, but still is a good starting workbook for long-lasting love.

Thursday, August 13, 2015

Dedicated in Memory of My Sorority Sister: Monica Butler Johnson

This death due to domestic violence hurts because it is my sorority sister that was murdered by her estranged husband (x).
She had done everything legal in her right to get out of her relationship. But Sheriff Jeff Wiley said this:
While he said it is important to fully utilize the legal system, he said it can’t protect victims 24/7. He suggested an additional option. 
"Get your concealed weapons permit. Ladies, learn how to safely handle a weapon, learn how to safely store a weapon, and when you're in a situation like this shoot him in your back yard before he gets in your house. Drop him," said Wiley.
The Sheriff admitted the advice may sound radical, but he said extreme violence requires extraordinary efforts for protection.
"Take the extremes necessary to live a life where you don't have to worry about your kids and your life," said Wiley.

This is some the most privileged cis-het violent white male crap I have read. What and turn into Marissa Alexander to be imprisoned excessively? Why? Dumbass! 

There should have been more to protect my soror! And now you will be obliterated on social media by me and everyone I can get to kick you out of your position of authority. 

The husband was a sheriff, too. Manipulation is what domestic violent abusers do. Just one thing added on another.

Louisiana SUCKS ASS in protecting women.
We must do more than this.
Support our cause:

Sunday, August 9, 2015

I HATE SEATTLE! Episode... #BlackLivesMatter

I write this series called "I HATE SEATTLE" and I hate it, with a passion. Several reasons why. But the biggest reason is the piss poor treatment of African American woman in this city. It's shittastic.

Then I see this #BlackLivesMatter protest interruption of a Bernie Sanders Rally on social security and medicare.

What got me is Bernie Sanders attacked? Why? What's going on?  I was very confused. Wasn't Sanders more on the side of equality and parity in civil and human rights, than say other candidates, especially those individuals in the clown car?

And the rage I heard in their voices were harsh in front of all those white people. Respectability political flags flew high on me. How come they are doing this? They are embarrassing themselves and the entire Black Lives Matters movement.

Then I searched on the Google, Facebook, a little Twitter and the best I got was Tumblr.

"We are on occupied Duwamish land"

That is when I realized their motives. See... A Black woman that lives in Seattle, Washington has a very hard life. All this liberal slanted agenda and we are still stigmatized, stereotyped and hated. We are treated like we a sick sore thumb that is an embarrassment to the entire agenda, whomever that owns it.

We are treated with disdain when we go shopping, especially grocery shopping. I've been called the N-word by a bagger. He was mentally challenged, but where would he have learned such language?

Then our chances for advancement in careers are absent for reasons anti-affirmative actions measures taken the the 1990s following California and then liberal white people wonder why we have a lot of rage. Opportunities have dried up for everyone. And if you are an honest hardworking decent person, it does not matter unless you choose to cheat and steal your way to the top. And any Black person, especially, a Black woman, you play immorally, you will be imprisoned first. And I have statistics to back me up (x).

Duwamish is a tribe of Native American peoples that resided on modern day Seattle lands for thousands of years before it was stolen from them (x).

How come I was upset before, and less now? Because this was the only way anyone would HEAR a Black woman in Seattle. And that's why I HATE SEATTLE. I can write, lament, cry and plead with people to hear about the discriminatory practices in this state, and no one would care or hear me. 

The ONLY way these women felt they could be heard was to RAID a Bernie Sanders for President rally. And while there were angry white people there, they'd hear their laments. They would hear their cries. These white people would not give a shit at the end of the day, but they would have heard them.

And for that... To me... It was worth it.