Wednesday, June 20, 2012



Ultimately, in this "political health climate", YOU have to take care of yourself and know what your body needs.

No, many of us did not take any health classes, we are not healthcare providers, and we cannot test ourselves! Google and WebMD are starts, but not the final authority of what is ailing us. Alternative complementary medicine has become "mainstreamed" and we are now seeing the response to that experience.

Based on several public health studies on health disparities that I have read, the issue is of FREEDOM, POVERTY and INJUSTICE!

Most women of color have not had a range of freedoms to see the best doctors at the best hospitals in the best of all possible worlds.

Most women, not all, are climbing out of cycles of devout physical poverty in the United States. But there is also "poverty of the mind" or ignorance. Some women just do not know and cannot do better. Some women do not even understand! So, thinking you are on the same point when you are not, negative.

INJUSTICE! That is a systems issue that society doesn't want to deal with because the problem is too complex to handle. Which puts it back on the individual, unfortunately, you and me.

Let me be clear:

This blog post is not advice and cannot be used as mental health professional advice. It is for entertainment purposes only. If you feel any negative emotions that may cause you harm, call 9-1-1 or 1-800-273-TALK

That said, taking care of your mental health and wellness is a LIFESTYLE CHANGE!

Just like losing weight and having fitness, so does your mental health have to be exercised. THERE IS NO QUICK FIX! And if someone is trying to sell you some, give the money to me because I need it and will put better use to it. THAT'S A JOKE!!!

How do you exercise your mental health to wellness?

There are several ways, most of them with a professionally licensed healthcare provider. Why? Because the issue of mental illness is about a true brain "lesion" in your mind that causes your thoughts to get stuck and is hard to release...

Sorry, we scientists have not gotten that far on the medication to stop those negative thoughts. We thought we were close, but it doesn't happen for everyone and some issues do not respond to medication. Nevertheless, a professional licensed healthcare provider is the FINAL AUTHORITY on any medication treatment options.

No. Natural does not work. It pains my heart to say that because I am a firm believer of not want to take many medications, but most mental health issues are about "delicate balance" and it has to be "titrated" slowly into the body for maximum benefit. Sorry, we scientists did not get enough funding to really understand the reason why this occurs. My guess is some of the molecular issues that cause very bad feelings and thoughts to occur are partly environmental. That means, not only pollution and poor living arrangements, but also those involved in freedoms, poverty and injustice... What we learn, how we fit and how we live in society.

There is no biological factor that we can measure at this time that predicts with scientific accuracy what will happen with said mental health conditions...

Group therapy, you take a ZOOMBA class with others, some mental health groups are just the same...

Study sessions on how to improve your mental health outlook. It is like you take a class and you have a workbook and you complete the tasks. I am unsure of the therapeutic outcomes from doing this, but I have a few of the books and they helped me.

One on one's with a professionally licensed healthcare provider. It worked for me. You have to find the right person. It is like a job interview. Most have started to ask, "What do you want out of our sessions"? If you are falling apart crying a storm, this may not be the best for you at the time. Something else may be better.

Working with a psychiatrist who prescribes medication. When you are falling apart and ready to take action of trying to commit suicide, this would be the person you will have to speak to when you get to that point. But there are SEVERAL steps involved and numerous laws to follow.  If you are reading this and feel you are there, what I will say, this blog is not for you and you need to read, RIGHT NOW!

When you are stable, you still have to see your psychiatrist. He or she will track the effectiveness of your medications if any and monitor the medical aspects of your mental health condition. Such as, depression - there are standard symptoms that some who is clinically depressed cannot hide that is "watched" by your physician.

After awhile, you get use to these things and start talking "turkey" with your providers about how to handle your condition.... But let me tell you what gets you there is nearly 20 years of staying on top of your mental health and wellness.

Yes, as a matter of fact, mental health and wellness is like scrambling to stay healthy like any other condition that someone can have, such as:

  • Diabetes
  • Heart Disease
  • Hypertension
  • Cancer

*looks up at these conditions and sees how each of them affects diverse communities. Hmm?*

In fact, would you say the same mental health stigmatizing things if you switched the issue with say, "Cancer"?

But you still have to do your part. If you are given anti-hypertensive medication, you do not skip your medication or it will not work and you will have heart palpitations...

Then why are you skipping your Lithium or Lamictal and not telling your doctor?

There are NO PASSES for messing up on your mental health regimen, you have to stay right on top of it. You have to try very hard to work at it. And you have to have this mentality when seeking the optimal care for your mental health issue.

Yes, it sucks. And if I could have a magic wand and wish this away with my godlike power and hope that God heals me, I would. But, you know what? God made me, too and while He wants me to be and do better, the tapestry of my life has not been completely woven and is not finished. Ultimately it is about my service to Him. And I think He's trying to say--help others with this small tiny spot--like a Isle--that is a a torrential ocean in cyberspace...

Let's get started! :)

Thursday, June 7, 2012


In 2007, I worked for a man who definitively was a sexist bigot. I thought I was okay mentally to handle this person, I was not. I worked their for 9.5 months on a specialized grant entitled the NRSA T32 grant. The stipulation to working in his lab is to figure out the rough blood pressure measurements on mice in the lab by tail cuff assay. The lab had various genetically modified mice that affected genes involved in regulating blood pressure. They had these mice with ZERO blood pressure data on them for over two years. After reading several scientific articles and the history of using a tail cuff assay to measure blood pressure, I developed a scientific and behavioral protocol to get preliminary measurements on these mice. I was successful. Unfortunately, that is when the problems started for me.

The last straw was having to find out from a fellow co-worker that my boss thought, the only reason why I was there was because I was Black and the only way I got my Ph.D. was through affirmative action...

I endured that psychosis during graduate school and it made me neurlogically ill causing seizures. I was not going to endure that from this laboratory.

So I plainly said I will leave for I needed to not commit suicide. For nearly 3 years since 2007, I have paid a lot of money for therapy, taking courses on improved health and better communication, developing positive ways to deal with grief and loss of a scientific research position - because I actually do love molecular genetics, but it is wrong to be in a position of duress.

Then in 2009, the United States economy tanked and many people were laid off from jobs. In Seattle, Washington, jobs at that time were scarce. While I attempted to seek employment, I got hundreds of letters from potential employers giving me rejection letters. I really worked hard to find any position even if it was demotion. These positions were nowhere to be found.

Also, between 2009-2010, I volunteered at Evergreen Hospice Bereavement follow up calls until I suffered from a huge loss, and then that had to stop. I volunteered at Group Health Living Well With Chronic Conditions. I took a Washington State Peer Specialist Mental Health support advocate. I did whatever I could to find avenues to employment. Meanwhile received documents from National Institutes of Health about paying money back for a job that actively discriminated against me.

Yes, I sought help from the University of Washington. I did not get any. I thought it was best to let go of what happened. It would have caused me stress making me have seizures again. Perhaps, I should have not let go.

Now, in the mail, I get this letter below:

I owe the United States Government, National Institutes of Health who will report my name to the Credit Agencies a lot of money.

Money there is no way I possibly have. No one has. Nothing. Going after me, the most vulnerable who has suffered a traumatic event causing me to have similar illnesses as our returning veterans, yes, they do this to me.

This is why I HATE SEATTLE!

University of Washington supports sexist bigots to do their scientific research. And those who work through the serious scientific issues are blasted away. YES I SAID IT! GET OVER IT! BECAUSE YOU DID ME WRONG!