In 2007, I worked for a man who definitively was a sexist bigot. I thought I was okay mentally to handle this person, I was not. I worked their for 9.5 months on a specialized grant entitled the NRSA T32 grant. The stipulation to working in his lab is to figure out the rough blood pressure measurements on mice in the lab by tail cuff assay. The lab had various genetically modified mice that affected genes involved in regulating blood pressure. They had these mice with ZERO blood pressure data on them for over two years. After reading several scientific articles and the history of using a tail cuff assay to measure blood pressure, I developed a scientific and behavioral protocol to get preliminary measurements on these mice. I was successful. Unfortunately, that is when the problems started for me.
The last straw was having to find out from a fellow co-worker that my boss thought, the only reason why I was there was because I was Black and the only way I got my Ph.D. was through affirmative action...
I endured that psychosis during graduate school and it made me neurlogically ill causing seizures. I was not going to endure that from this laboratory.
So I plainly said I will leave for I needed to not commit suicide. For nearly 3 years since 2007, I have paid a lot of money for therapy, taking courses on improved health and better communication, developing positive ways to deal with grief and loss of a scientific research position - because I actually do love molecular genetics, but it is wrong to be in a position of duress.
Then in 2009, the United States economy tanked and many people were laid off from jobs. In Seattle, Washington, jobs at that time were scarce. While I attempted to seek employment, I got hundreds of letters from potential employers giving me rejection letters. I really worked hard to find any position even if it was demotion. These positions were nowhere to be found.
Also, between 2009-2010, I volunteered at Evergreen Hospice Bereavement follow up calls until I suffered from a huge loss, and then that had to stop. I volunteered at Group Health Living Well With Chronic Conditions. I took a Washington State Peer Specialist Mental Health support advocate. I did whatever I could to find avenues to employment. Meanwhile received documents from National Institutes of Health about paying money back for a job that actively discriminated against me.
Yes, I sought help from the University of Washington. I did not get any. I thought it was best to let go of what happened. It would have caused me stress making me have seizures again. Perhaps, I should have not let go.
Now, in the mail, I get this letter below:
I owe the United States Government, National Institutes of Health who will report my name to the Credit Agencies a lot of money.
Money there is no way I possibly have. No one has. Nothing. Going after me, the most vulnerable who has suffered a traumatic event causing me to have similar illnesses as our returning veterans, yes, they do this to me.
This is why I HATE SEATTLE!
University of Washington supports sexist bigots to do their scientific research. And those who work through the serious scientific issues are blasted away. YES I SAID IT! GET OVER IT! BECAUSE YOU DID ME WRONG!