Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Bringin' to you live! EPISODE ALERT II! #bipolar #depression #WOC

It's been a LONG time since I have dropped this low. Logically, position, stance, target, timing, aim, purpose -- most things are in the correct place. But my mood, feelings, physiology is OUT OF WHACK!!! I am currently sitting here profusely sobbing and I cannot begin to tell anyone why that is? LOGICALLY I know why, I am in a depression.

All my symptoms point to that fact:
  • Oversleeping, not eating on a schedule
  • not really "feeling" like doing anything positive - like going outside enjoying what little sunshine Seattle does have
  • avoiding people, places thing - isolating myself

The few people I can speak to about this get so worried that I wouldn't want to put them through this when all I need is just a listening ear, then again, they really do not have the time. Because they have to work - like MOST people do in real life.

That is probably what is bugging me - I do not have much of a "real life". I had one and I was like "this foul feeling behavior" than I was when I am "relatively mentally healthy".

So, I promised my readers that when I have a full-blown episode, I would post. It is better than the destructive alternatives. Maybe the professionals can do a case conference on me. I do not know? But I do know that I do not like feeling like this.

Wait, did I eat anything today? Dayum!

Let me try that...