Monday, May 3, 2010

#Marriage #Anniversary My Opinions!

Twitter talk I was having about marriage:

ME: So I don’t know what you mean by "grounded" but I can tell you--what worked for us may not work for you... LOL!

ME: Reality: How well do you know yourself & what you see is what you get--even the poop!

ME: Reality is a woman loses greater than half her income when she divorces and it impacts her kids – devoid of any domestic violence!!!

ME: A man's risk of serious Chronic Illness increases when relationships go awry--especially. cancer.

ME: REALITY! So teaching people to be STABLE in a marriage is critical. No matter the kind. If the government wants to be in the business of legal or licensed relationships, then to minimize municipal budgets would want everyone’s marriage to succeed.

ME: That is why it is WISE to choose a mate that is willing to be with you during good or bad times. Hopefully the bad is not horrific

I had a nice discussion with someone about marriage and may I need to write another blog, but I do not feel like right now so here is my rant:

RANT: In my 20's I BELIEVED I was unlovable and not marriage material. YES my #bipolar played into it, but not as much as I thought...The problem was basic demographics, trends, personalities, issues and stuff. I really was not ready for the rigors of a high level legal license. Looking back I know that now. The isht I am going through currently, would I be in a psychiatric hospital if I was married 20 yrs ago? Is that fair to my spouse? NO!!! So this rush to be married at 20ish...Dudes slow your roll! Why? It is hard enough being young! And then the Economy is bad! When you marry you cannot just leave.

For Sistahs, much love, but reality, marriage is more of a business contractual partnership than anything else, DON’T SLEEP!

Love is great, wonderful, exciting, enticing, beautiful, thrilling, adjective, gerund and adverb!

The Marriage Enrichment course my hub and I took said collaboration - meaning non violent communication techniques And communication is 99% non verbal, so it is your actions than words that sustain a relationship...All I can say it is as individualized as a couple from one to another. Everyone's relationship is different. What works for me might not work for you. One thing I do know, bring LOTS of laughter...The more humorous you are to it, the arguments get hilarious...I guess what I am saying in May 16th will be 7 years for us and it is my longest relationship I have had and it is under a marriage license. I'm not going say it is PERFECT cause right now MY life is not that way at all. But my hub I LOVE him and he makes me want to do and be better. That is why I married him. That is why I love him. That is why I work it out with him and that is why I support him...My faith in God helps--Because really why would God put me in a Fucked up relationship after all I have suffered? That's fugly-My hub is a good man-I chose the nice guy! And I haven't questioned that decision since. Because when you leave and cleave don't worry about all of that. CHOOSE WISELY!