Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Acting stupidly!

How can we humans have a positive discussion about race? I don't want to talk about race. I don't care anymore! I am acting stupidly! I've lost my career I developed over 15 years because of race. I have lost my groups of friends because of race. Race is nothing more than acting stupidly. I am reminding of my race every time I go grocery shopping. Or it is when I fail to take my medications? I don't know anymore. This racialized culture in the United States is stupid-ly!

We are all acting stupidly dealing with this ignorance. As I am in recovery from my mental illness, bipolar disorder 2, how do I balance between the normal symptoms of my mental illness and the ignorant comments made by stupid people, including myself?

Well, like General Colin Powell said, you suck it up. Take a breath and try a teachable moment? When I feel my life, liberty and freedom is threatened--something that is insured by the United States government? Oh, wait, freedom isn't always free. That's right, I was acting stupidly.

Why should I have a chip on my shoulder? Not trusting anyone with my psychological assurance? That means, letting my guard down and being who I really am... Who am I? Really? I do not fit people's definitions other than the stereotype. And I refuse to live up to the stereotype and act crazy stupidly, so why trust anyone with my psychological assurance? Too hard to do the work that does not pay my rent.

It is easier to ignore the offense and stuff it in a box and try to come back to it later. But see, that causes stress, that stress is stuffed in bad places in the body and by the time it is gotten back to it, it is during medical catastrophes--cancer, heart disease, stroke, etc. That is the cost of acting stupidly... This abuse of assumptive stereotyping causes psychological trauma victimizing the target.

Sure, I can act stupidly, but my longevity is impacted, the amount of service I can do to the citizenry and community is minimized. The full expansive potential of who I really am, Divine Royalty, is like containing something meant to be in a box that cannot happen by physical means. All that is left is I can only call out, cry and yell...

There is more to life than this. I know, I've seen it. I will not just act, stupidly. I will not be someone who will accept this suggestion.

How I see it is that asking Dr. Gates to let it go is just like telling a rape victim to let it go after a henious rape or a combat veteran to get over those nightmarish traumas encountered. That is irresponsible. And racial psychological trauma is no different, as manifested by a government law enforcement officer.

Does every interaction with law enforcement contentious? Why? Are they not public servants? Is this a business design, rather than governing under laws by a democracy?