On Monday, August 9, 2010 Miss Fantasia Barrino the 3rd Season of American Idol Winner attempted suicide with a drug overdose due to a penis from a married man. Not to be trite and dirty about it but I have some experiences with "pedestalizing" penises from idiotic men. Desiring a man, wanting a man only to be played like a fiddle from an UNWORTHY MAN not worth my efforts to love in the beginning.
How could a very fortunate, hard working, lift herself up from her bootstraps, African American woman who appeared to be moving to a celebrity status allow herself to fall for a loser of a man. She had raw, natural talent, which allowed her to rise to the top and win a powerful contest and instant celebrity. She built herself up with the assistance of powerful cohorts, such as Quincy Jones et al. This man, no matter how attractive he was was UNWORTHY of her. Then for him to drop the bomb of marriage to another woman??? He lied to her... Even after he said to Fantasia that he no longer has love for his wife it is a LIE!
But for Fantasia to resort to overdosing on pills...
She has other mental health issues that caused her to arrive to that conclusion. 1) Low self-esteem. Poverty does that to someone. Never thinking she is worth more than what she is. Black women who grow up like this have no role models that bolster their self-esteem. It is like fitting in clothes never created with the black woman form in mind--such as Liz Claiborne...
2) Historical precedent - Fantasia was the first African American woman to win American Idol. There was pressure to at least have a Black woman rank high in the competition. But, as usual the judges choose someone with the weakest support system to win to have the self-fulfilling prophecy. Unfortunately, that was Fantasia Barrino. What I like about her is her stalwart fight against institutionalized racism. But when one does that, she allows unsavory characters into her life, such as:
3) Antwaun Cook who stated to Fantasia the following:
"He was not happy in his marriage and his heart was not in it. She believed him when he told her he and Mrs. Cook separated in the late summer of 2009. She believed Mr. Cook when he told her he lived elsewhere."
4) Fantasia wanted love by a sexy man. Antwaun was that man. For 11 months he beguiled a ruse over her sharing in her plans to never leave his wife. Very typical of a domestically violent individual. Cheating is a form of domestic violence. Domestic violence also means preying on the mentally vulnerable. Since, Fantasia was use to this kind of man, she was not able to tell until he must have told her he wanted to see how to improve his relationship with his wife due to the final signatories of a divorce decree and apparently his wife used their children as leverage to keep him.
Is his penis worth the pedestalization? HAYLE NO! WHY? And for all starlets out there, they need to be in that frame of mind! Why? Because female celebrities have assets that are valued. Men, especially unsavory men, want to take that away from a powerhouse female celebrity. Can women of this stature survive this? Well, actually many do but that is not without huge sacrifice and destruction of character. But in showbiz infamy is big business for the high stakes game of celebrity perpetuity...
But for Fantasia Barrino, this suicide attempt depending on her actions, if spun positively, she can keep it moving. But she can stay in the doldrums of infamy, and hope that her raw talent can bring her out of it. Doubtful it will for her due to her star status...
I am not going to discuss my private life here, but what I can say is I have been there, done that and got a T-shirt to rise above pedestalizing the penis. What worked for me, may not work for other women. But it did involve loving all that am, just as I am more than I can be and be the inner Goddess that is my birthright and meant to be!
Stay blessed.
Ashe' o
Akeerah...
Postscript:
After watching this...I hope she is on her way to healing. From someone with bipolar disorder: Do not forget all those who DO love you...YOU JUST DON'T KNOW THE LEAST OF THOSE ARE PULLING FOR YOU!
But yeah...This stuff eats your mind Miss Tasia...
