The few African American owned newspapers in the Pacific Northwest that points out the indignity that have been representatives of the government who enforce inhumane laws against our most vulnerable citizens, then you wonder what kind of place are we living in:
But in the mainstream media there is a different picture painted where the beaten down Black girl with a huge swollen eye produced by the police overseer--err--officer to apologize for her protecting her friend from assault:
I HATE SEATTLE #5C BECAUSE BLACK WOMEN AIN'T SHIT OUT HERE - NO ONE PROTECTS US!!!
I say that because of this video:
I'm sorry, but there seems to be discordant rules going on here... The first rule was the officer, even though the Police Overseer --err-- Officer's Guild says he was well within his rights, took too long to take down the one girl he was trying to detain over all, when Miss Rosenthal interceded.
But when a detained delicate 15 year old, Malika Calhoun sasses a police guard, she is immediately subdued, and the officer is stripped of his position and goes to jail.
Same kinds of incidents, two different outcomes...Why? Because one girl was Black, fatter, bigger? And the other was a pretty little delicate white girl?
I CALL "PEDESTALIZATION"!!! Being put upon a pedestal licenses some people, chiefly women who fit a stereotype to be treated differentially by authority figures...
There is precedence when I read an article in Newsweek like this:
BLACK WOMEN INHERENTLY DO NOT FIT THE STANDARD OF BEAUTY IN AMERICAN SOCIETY!!!
This is not about what I personally believe, experienced or my personal opinion. There has been a systematic, outright psychological warfare for generations against the inner, natural, organic beauty that women of African descent have had in this American society.
Dare I say it causes psychological traumas to the point of mental illness starting that the point of puberty for a young girl adjusting herself for womanhood.
The fact is European or White features are favored. That is mainstream! That is a fact.
Living in a place like SEATTLE FAILS to foster ANY kind of self-esteem pride in young teenage Black girls to be anything than the prolific, over-sexualized, dehumanizing images seen on pornographic, misogynistic and outright sexually violent ugliness of humanity, and frankly femininity!!! Hence, a proud black women or girl is so humiliated to have no other recourse but to apologize to a system that gave her the swollen eye!
Where is the self-esteem in that? Especially since this girl has NOTHING in her family life-impoverished-has to fend for herself and find what can love her as somebody on this planet?
What will be the police OVERSEER'S punitive issues? NOTHING!!! He will come out unscathed.
So when the NEXT Black girl is killed! Oh it will be in the line of duty!
Well SEATTLE!!! Be prepared...because the tap dancing negroes you have in charge will concede "peace" so much so that Black Womanhood, Femininity, and Stoicism that gave us Civil Rights Freedoms in AMERIKKKLAN will all but lost!!!
When I read a "Rosa Parks Was Shot And Killed By Police In Seattle..." I honestly am resigned to say I will not be shocked, because I have reached apathy. Unless it is me, then it these Blogs will stop.
So I've gotten some interesting comments...So people are upset because they think I sided. First of all: I am NOT taking sides until I have more information. YES, I have reaction to BLACK GIRLS GETTING HIT BY POLICE!!!
I could be that Black Girl...Especially living in Redmond! I'd be "dragged" by police like Byrd!
I figure people skipped over my rant - because that is what it is - a rant and I had a lot to say because really this stuff gets bottled up inside me and I do not have an outlet. So let my outlet be MY BLOG!!! If folks disagree, dammit put it on your own blog! Psh! Get over it!
However...the deep thought and intrinsic parts were here. I don't know how to add a "next page tag" on Blogger, so *shrugs*. So I'm listing it here. Yes...It's long! Warning: Full on Mental Health Trigger READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!
"No one shows greater love than when he lays down his life for his friends." John 15:13
What's the point in teaching these kids the Bible when the broad brush of hatred of them is painted onto them? When they are demonized at birth?
After seeing this, what's the point?
I learned nothing from this video. Why try to make things right when no one listens?
Where I live, it is predominantly Caucasian. I am treated as a pariah. That I am no more than these "ghetto ass nigger bitches who fight". I am treated as worthless, lazy and shiftless. THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO TREAT ME WITH DIGNITY ARE FOREIGN BORN PERSONS!!! Most of my friends are from other ethnic groups or alternative lifestyles up here. And really I do not care much about where they are from.
I even befriend elderly up her more than I befriend my age group.
And the oppression and suppression of Black Women up here is NOT ONLY DONE BY A SMALL NUMBER OF Caucasian men or women for that matter...BUT BY BLACK PEOPLE--particularly other BLACK WOMEN!!!
That is sad because really, SEATTLE will NEVER be an ATLANTA!!! And the stats for the success/failure rates are the same here as it is IN ATLANTA -- the Black Mecca!!! WTF!!!
There are ONLY A HANDFUL OF BLACK PEOPLE HERE OVERALL!!! WHY ARE WE PULLING EACH OTHER DOWN??? With insipid gossip, public belittling, alienation, demeaning - just overall cattiness!!! THAT IS SILLY!!! In all my years of surviving Atlanta with an unknown at the time bipolar disorder mental illness, I had not experienced the kind of fugly cattiness that I have encountered here!
Getting yelled at when I am the chairperson of the group!!! Being told that what I am doing does not mean anything when I win awards. That my research about a community service project "black people don't do". Requests for my presence to events 2 hours before the event kicks off via email, rather than a phone call or even a letter. Being angrily called because I am not a part of the group and should not be sharing supportive information. All of this has happened to me HERE LIVING HERE FOR SEVEN YEARS DONE TO ME BY BLACK WOMEN!!!
Well, I left and that is why I start The Ari | af | ya Universe with four divisions:
* Sistah Mental Health and Wellness * GYM Right Health and Wellness Coaching * Mental Health Angel Investment Group * The Isle Sanctuary Artistic Division
Now, when I speak to professionals about my activities, many of them are NOT Black and are VERY supportive and enriching. I have learned so much about business and social media in 2 years that I am thoroughly excited. I have met people globally because of my business ventures. Moreover, to be honest Washington State has a really good business set up but also makes people pay B&O tax. That is the reality.
Sadly, I am not making money. One guy I took a class from was very nice about - my target market--which are Black Women do not reside in Washington State. That is a FACT!!! Most of my target market is actually in the OTHER Washington - DC area... And I know next to NOTHING about that whole area, the demographic or why there ARE people who need the kind of services I am marketing?
I know overall the kinds of thing I have had to do to make myself in a place where I can be functional and attempt to be a contributing citizen of this society. But seriously, I am writing this piece to get it OUT of my mind.
Girls who are destitute do not need to be manhandled by a representation of the government long reviled in this kind of community even if the goal is to have the same kind of public safety they have in other parts--meaning White Parts--of the county. You cannot have the same rules for the Seattle School District as you have for the Bellevue and Lake Washington School Districts. Why? Because the Bellevue and Lake Washington School Districts have the redistricting and zones for the high schools to be in a "safe" roads location, where as many of the Seattle Schools were built long time ago before there was huge traffic issues and well urbanization just got built around them without planning.
And let's not get into how poorly planned Seattle as a city is right now...Because that's... UGH!!! Civil Engineers probably pull their hair out on that one...
Mentally...Those girls have no one...Punishing them to the full extent of the law is INSANE! It won't make a difference to them. And what are we doing and saying for THEM? Another nigger in jail? Really? That is dumb. Besides my tax dollars go to putting them into jail and I would prefer for them to go into the military and fight for my country... Where as "Tommy pervert Pedophile" that kidnaps little boys and chops them up is off gallivanting to the next little boy in Washington State. How does that set precedent? Or home chick who somehow has a "Kryptonite pussy" for military men to marry her and make them give her all their money with nine kids - um??? The logic?
Can women do better in Washington State - yes, you bet they can and many are doing it. There is a powerhouse lesbian groups up here. I am sure they have their issues they feel they need to fight for, but of the lesbians I know, they are positive role models to me and for me as what a woman can do in her life. I am NOT a lesbian, but I can see these groups making a difference.
The Breast Cancer corp of women - yes! If one EVER gets a breast cancer diagnosis, treatment is as rapid as one needs it and support is immediate. Sadly, the rates for women of African descent remains poor and unchanged in Seattle similar to that observed in Atlanta, but there are some researchers doing ALL they can to find a way to make a difference.
I AM DOING MENTAL HEALTH AND WELLNESS resources for women of African descent. I am the ONLY one making a noise in that arena in Seattle at this time. While I know professionals who are women of African descent, they often say they do not have the time to coordinate a massive undertaking to educated the masses of Black people about mental illness. I do have to say breaking into the business is VERY HARD when you are an outsider. I speak to the National Alliance of the Mentally Ill and the Mental Health of America National organizations all the time on Social Media, but locally, ZERO!!! The Seattle roadblock losing and disconnect... *shrugs* And what I am doing is the online activities, rather than the real time - which I ENCOURAGE!!!
This is NOT my opinion, it is based on medical facts about mental illness.
Those girls were mentally ill. MOST POLICE OFFICERS know about mental illness but are not licensed, nor have enough time to rationally do a mental health intake like a physician, psychiatrist, psychologist or social worker can...
IN FACT!!! I have spoken to one of the top emergency room websites about how to deal with mental illness emergencies...Because when someone is "acting out" like those girls were, those hospital intakes are different that say a heart attack or gunshot wound...
Sadly, the emergency room is not well equipped to handle a mental breakdown until the mental health professionals arrive - most often NOT PHYSICIANS, sometimes a NURSE!!!
Sadly, 80% of the mental illness problem can be treated with medicine to get the person stable to make a rational decision, but the call cannot be made accurately because by the time they wind up in Emergency - if the person has not attempted a suicide - they have confounding factors...
Oh yeah, that the dirty little secret... And Washington State does have a huge problem with their mental health care system overall. Everyone KNOWS this--it's kindling for a fugly fire... Moreover, drug abuse is a huge problem here that impacts the organic mental illness treatment - meaning most people are drug addicts and treatment for drug abuse is fundamentally different than treatment for say, the favorite mental illnesses: depression, bipolar, anxiety, PTSD, schizophrenia, etc.
WHAT CAN WE DO???
The next wave is social media whether we like it or not...
On another cyberspace the problem really is poverty. There is an inherent injustice being done when someone is impoverished. What poverty does is rob an individual of her humanity - potential, goals, livelihood, success, etc. Poverty is not just about not having any money, but also lack of education, health, mental faculties, experiences, dignity. What did this young girl really have left that this police officer took? I can tell you the police officer does not even KNOW this and maybe does not care, but the reality is if given the chance, I think he would care and would do everything he care to understand. Sad part, I doubt his higher ups knew about this issue either - which makes this incident institutionalized racism... The outright overlooking of the global situation for the best outcomes dealing with sensitive community targets in an immediate, expedited format...
Too little, too late? I do not know? But I do know that something has to be done or we will have another event and the next one will be more violent than the WTO events...
And why does President Barack Obama have to be the savior for this issue, when really, guess what SEATTLE we have the resources right here to help us!!! UTILIZED THEM!!! LEVERAGE THEM!!!
{DEEP BREATH...BREATHE...CALM...TRYING TO NOT CRY...}
Let me be blunt full BIPOLAR EPISODE coming on bringing it to you live!!!
Black women AIN'T SHIT out here! Period! Yeah, I said it!
As someone who attended and graduated from Spelman College in 1990, Pledged Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. has a Master's and Ph.D. in molecular genetics, IN SPITE of suffering from Bipolar Disorder that may have something to do with my genetic predisposition to Diabetes, I have EXPERIENCED the VERBAL INSULTS that has ZERO to do with MY SAFETY and MY WELL-BEING living in this WRETCHED PLACE called SEATTLE!!!
I HATE SEATTLE #5!!!
This craziness in these videos PROVES it!
All the socialization in the world will NEVER make SEATTLE ameneable for women, particularly women of color, especially women of African descent, specifically BLACK WOMEN!!! NEVER, NONE, NADA, NEVER!!! SEATTLE CAN'T CLEAN THIS IMAGE UP BECAUSE THEY WON'T CLEAN THIS IMAGE UP BECAUSE BLACK WOMEN ARE SEEN AS SHIT OUT HERE!!!
DEEPER: The way women are viewed out here is piss poor overall. I thought men from Dallas, Texas was misogynistic, well I was WRONG!!! Texas men are "macho" but apparently they treat their women right! I thought men from Southern Californian were dickheads, well I was WRONG!!! Southern Californian men have "hubris" but apparently they at least make their women feel good! I thought men from Atlanta, Georgia were "crafty", well I was WRONG!!! Atlanta men are "manipulative" but apparently they give their women what they need...
I have dated those kinds of men...
The men I see out here FAIL to know how to treat a women. But overall, the people out here are FROZEN!!! Called the "SEATTLE FREEZE" they have no social skills! They don't speak to one another in a civil way. They fail at basic social conversations with high minded, cerebral ideas! Problem solving just on a philosophical basis needs all the "touchy feel good crap", rather than just allowing the the air to clear. Avoidance is what many people do here. And it is making them sick - look at the medical stats just for numbers!!!
The other thing we work at a weather discrepancy - it is NOT sunny here often. Vitamin D is lacking. So there must be a population of people, especially in impoverished communities where healthy foods are missing in the diet that Vitamin D regulation is piss poor. THAT IS WHERE THESE GIRLS LIVED!!! It rains then it is sunny, my moods fluctuate and I have trouble managing mine own moods when the weather does that, how do you think teenage girls can manage???
FACTS: The high school - Franklin High School - did the right thing trying to stop kids from crossing the street from a busy intersection with out a crosswalk, but an overpass pedestrian bridge. Franklin High School is an inner city school...
The leadership requested the assistance of the Seattle Police Department to enforce the "jay walking" from that non-crosswalked area. The space is off of 23rd and Rainier. I use to do get my hair done down there, black women's hair care is ABSENT in large swaths of Washington State. So one has to traverse to the "traditionally Black neighborhoods" to have a decent relaxer touch up done in Seattle. The location of my beauty salon was 30 minutes from my house. Which means, that in order for me to get my hair done, I would have to undergo a series of mindfulness meditations to deal with several of events and probable incidences to not get the anxiety associated to JUST GET MY HAIR DONE RESPECTABLY!!! It was NOT because the salon was in the neighborhood and they did a WONDERFUL job, it just was too much for me to get there, impractical for me to get there and be sane enough to keep my hair looking like anything...
FACT: Those kids risked a busy thoroughfare to get to the convenience store to purchase junk food. They preferred NOT to take the foot bridge because basically they did not see the purpose of climbing it. Yeah...They were probably lazy. They would rather get hit by a bus and die for some GODDAMN JUNK FOOD!!! SERIOUSLY!!! How do you explain to teenagers not to take risks like that?
FACT: The SEATTLE PD were doing their jobs!!! I am going to be very honest with this one. The police officer in this picture WAS DOING HIS JOB!!! He was ordered to stop kids from jay walking. At some level he had to use his training to make an assessment on the safety of PEOPLE'S KIDS!!! TEENAGERS!!!
Here is the problem...There was ZERO COORDINATED RESPONSE IN PLACE!!! NO KIND OF COMMUNITY INVOLVEMENT to optimize the actions. A house of cards was built and we witnessed the crash!
THE school had positive intentions to try to protect young people lives, so they made a mandate, but once kids are off school property, it becomes an issue for the local police, which must enforce the laws for public safety reasons. How they do it is unclear to me. I understand why, but how is another issue...
What's a better way?
The police can barricade...In fact I've seen it in other cities. It sucks, it looks like military-ish, but hey...It works...
The kids are too lazy to like what 20 steps when they CAN do it? Okay--where's the FUCKING PHYSICAL FITNESS COACHES!!! The discipline??? The getting "coached up"??? The ROTC would have been happy to send recruiters out there to make the kids go up those stairs!!! FOR FREE!!! A SERVICE TO THE COMMUNITY!!! LOL!
The young people - the girls who got into the altercation - I'm sorry but the Seattle Times is painting a piss poor stereotype of Black Women when they print that these girls were trash and worthless with a "rap sheet"... The girl who was punched had a crack mother and was in and out of foster care system. She barely had anyone to love her just because she existed. The fact that she was about to GRADUATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL was an accomplishment given that she even LIVED THAT LONG!!! All the reasons for her NOT to succeed ANYWHERE IN LIFE!!!
She was the wrong color, the wrong sex, from the wrong parents, at the WRONG TIME!!! And she was about to GRADUATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL!!! She was trying to SAVE HER FRIEND!!!
"No one shows greater love than when he lays down his life for his friends." John 15:13
What's the point in teaching these kids the Bible when the broad brush of hatred of them is painted onto them? When they are demonized at birth?
After seeing this, what's the point?
I learned nothing from this video. Why try to make things right when no one listens?
Where I live, it is predominantly Caucasian. I am treated as a pariah. That I am no more than these "ghetto ass nigger bitches who fight". I am treated as worthless, lazy and shiftless. THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO TREAT ME WITH DIGNITY ARE FOREIGN BORN PERSONS!!! Most of my friends are from other ethnic groups or alternative lifestyles up here. And really I do not care much about where they are from.
I even befriend elderly up her more than I befriend my age group.
And the oppression and suppression of Black Women up here is NOT ONLY DONE BY A SMALL NUMBER OF Caucasian men or women for that matter...BUT BY BLACK PEOPLE--particularly other BLACK WOMEN!!!
That is sad because really, SEATTLE will NEVER be an ATLANTA!!! And the stats for the success/failure rates are the same here as it is IN ATLANTA -- the Black Mecca!!! WTF!!!
There are ONLY A HANDFUL OF BLACK PEOPLE HERE OVERALL!!! WHY ARE WE PULLING EACH OTHER DOWN??? With insipid gossip, public belittling, alienation, demeaning - just overall cattiness!!! THAT IS SILLY!!! In all my years of surviving Atlanta with an unknown at the time bipolar disorder mental illness, I had not experienced the kind of fugly cattiness that I have encountered here!
Getting yelled at when I am the chairperson of the group!!! Being told that what I am doing does not mean anything when I win awards. That my research about a community service project "black people don't do". Requests for my presence to events 2 hours before the event kicks off via email, rather than a phone call or even a letter. Being angrily called because I am not a part of the group and should not be sharing supportive information. All of this has happened to me HERE LIVING HERE FOR SEVEN YEARS DONE TO ME BY BLACK WOMEN!!!
Well, I left and that is why I start The Ari | af | ya Universe with four divisions:
Now, when I speak to professionals about my activities, many of them are NOT Black and are VERY supportive and enriching. I have learned so much about business and social media in 2 years that I am thoroughly excited. I have met people globally because of my business ventures. Moreover, to be honest Washington State has a really good business set up but also makes people pay B&O tax. That is the reality.
Sadly, I am not making money. One guy I took a class from was very nice about - my target market--which are Black Women do not reside in Washington State. That is a FACT!!! Most of my target market is actually in the OTHER Washington - DC area... And I know next to NOTHING about that whole area, the demographic or why there ARE people who need the kind of services I am marketing?
I know overall the kinds of thing I have had to do to make myself in a place where I can be functional and attempt to be a contributing citizen of this society. But seriously, I am writing this piece to get it OUT of my mind.
Girls who are destitute do not need to be manhandled by a representation of the government long reviled in this kind of community even if the goal is to have the same kind of public safety they have in other parts--meaning White Parts--of the county. You cannot have the same rules for the Seattle School District as you have for the Bellevue and Lake Washington School Districts. Why? Because the Bellevue and Lake Washington School Districts have the redistricting and zones for the high schools to be in a "safe" roads location, where as many of the Seattle Schools were built long time ago before there was huge traffic issues and well urbanization just got built around them without planning.
And let's not get into how poorly planned Seattle as a city is right now...Because that's... UGH!!! Civil Engineers probably pull their hair out on that one...
Mentally...Those girls have no one...Punishing them to the full extent of the law is INSANE! It won't make a difference to them. And what are we doing and saying for THEM? Another nigger in jail? Really? That is dumb. Besides my tax dollars go to putting them into jail and I would prefer for them to go into the military and fight for my country... Where as "Tommy pervert Pedophile" that kidnaps little boys and chops them up is off gallivanting to the next little boy in Washington State. How does that set precedent? Or home chick who somehow has a "Kryptonite pussy" for military men to marry her and make them give her all their money with nine kids - um??? The logic?
Can women do better in Washington State - yes, you bet they can and many are doing it. There is a powerhouse lesbian groups up here. I am sure they have their issues they feel they need to fight for, but of the lesbians I know, they are positive role models to me and for me as what a woman can do in her life. I am NOT a lesbian, but I can see these groups making a difference.
The Breast Cancer corp of women - yes! If one EVER gets a breast cancer diagnosis, treatment is as rapid as one needs it and support is immediate. Sadly, the rates for women of African descent remains poor and unchanged in Seattle similar to that observed in Atlanta, but there are some researchers doing ALL they can to find a way to make a difference.
I AM DOING MENTAL HEALTH AND WELLNESS resources for women of African descent. I am the ONLY one making a noise in that arena in Seattle at this time. While I know professionals who are women of African descent, they often say they do not have the time to coordinate a massive undertaking to educated the masses of Black people about mental illness. I do have to say breaking into the business is VERY HARD when you are an outsider. I speak to the National Alliance of the Mentally Ill and the Mental Health of America National organizations all the time on Social Media, but locally, ZERO!!! The Seattle roadblock losing and disconnect... *shrugs* And what I am doing is the online activities, rather than the real time - which I ENCOURAGE!!!
This is NOT my opinion, it is based on medical facts about mental illness.
Those girls were mentally ill. MOST POLICE OFFICERS know about mental illness but are not licensed, nor have enough time to rationally do a mental health intake like a physician, psychiatrist, psychologist or social worker can...
IN FACT!!! I have spoken to one of the top emergency room websites about how to deal with mental illness emergencies...Because when someone is "acting out" like those girls were, those hospital intakes are different that say a heart attack or gunshot wound...
Sadly, the emergency room is not well equipped to handle a mental breakdown until the mental health professionals arrive - most often NOT PHYSICIANS, sometimes a NURSE!!!
Sadly, 80% of the mental illness problem can be treated with medicine to get the person stable to make a rational decision, but the call cannot be made accurately because by the time they wind up in Emergency - if the person has not attempted a suicide - they have confounding factors...
Oh yeah, that the dirty little secret... And Washington State does have a huge problem with their mental health care system overall. Everyone KNOWS this--it's kindling for a fugly fire... Moreover, drug abuse is a huge problem here that impacts the organic mental illness treatment - meaning most people are drug addicts and treatment for drug abuse is fundamentally different than treatment for say, the favorite mental illnesses: depression, bipolar, anxiety, PTSD, schizophrenia, etc.
WHAT CAN WE DO???
The next wave is social media whether we like it or not...
On another cyberspace the problem really is poverty. There is an inherent injustice being done when someone is impoverished. What poverty does is rob an individual of her humanity - potential, goals, livelihood, success, etc. Poverty is not just about not having any money, but also lack of education, health, mental faculties, experiences, dignity. What did this young girl really have left that this police officer took? I can tell you the police officer does not even KNOW this and maybe does not care, but the reality is if given the chance, I think he would care and would do everything he care to understand. Sad part, I doubt his higher ups knew about this issue either - which makes this incident institutionalized racism... The outright overlooking of the global situation for the best outcomes dealing with sensitive community targets in an immediate, expedited format...
Too little, too late? I do not know? But I do know that something has to be done or we will have another event and the next one will be more violent than the WTO events...
And why does President Barack Obama have to be the savior for this issue, when really, guess what SEATTLE we have the resources right here to help us!!! UTILIZED THEM!!! LEVERAGE THEM!!!
Irony at it's best. Anyone who knows me knows I am a Star Wars geek. When I got this report from CNN I remember the heinous vitriol I received when I gave similar differential from my roleplaying on Twitter and the overt cyberbullying alienation I got positing this mental health differential.
I think what the misnomer is that evil people, even in real life, like Hitler and Edi Amin, having a "mental illness" somehow absolves them from justice and responsibility to the hateful destruction they have imparted on this Earth. In the example above, the "case study" of "Darth Vader" suggest he has a borderline personality disorder. My nominal understanding gave the differential of "Dissociative Identity Disorder", I admit, it was a stretch, and currently agree with clinicians that it resembles Narcissistic personality disorder. But I also think there is mixed episode Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) due to Anakin Skywalker's enslavement, grief and hastened bereavement from the loss of his mother, and on-going of the "Clone Wars". And this is not to mention the manipulations used by "The Force", which I strongly believe that Emperor Palpatine (Darth Sidious) actively used to manipulate Anakin Skywalker's thoughts, egging him on - but in the novel, Yoda clearly says, that Anakin Skywalker's conversion to Darth Vader WAS A CHOICE...
Aside from this exercise being a fun one for us "real-life" scientists to do--dream of science fiction because it is easier without proof, what took me aback is the ferociousness, hate-fill puerile socially inept spewing of vitriol with a complete deluded lack of knowledge. Now, granted the lead expert is NOT the largest Star Wars fan on the planet, and may have NEVER studied any of the books cover-to-cover, and innocently thought, "Hey, this would be a great exercise of my skills to share how this situation is possible and relate to millions worldwide!" But this ugliness toward him is stupid to say the least. Telling him to just get over it is to question his training and intelligence thereby exacting mental health stigma against him - i.e. psychiatrists are just as crazy as the patients they treat... Now, that is why many of physicians/clinicians only interact with colleagues rather than unknowns. Too much ignorance.
Wait... Aren't we suppose to be trying to get along in Cyberspace through social media? Wow!
Let me make this clear: Just because one has a mental illness does not absolved them from their responsibilities...
It is a CHOICE to do right by oneself and others! Just because one has a diagnosis like that, does not mean they stop trying to care for oneself!
We who suffer from mental illness MUST make a covenant with OURSELVES to optimize our health. Of course this is for ADULTS! Children cannot go into promises they cannot keep. But now that we are adults who are mentally ill, does not mean we "get off scott-free". That was one of the HARDEST, CRUELEST lesson I HAD to learn when I had to learn how to manage my mental illness, bipolar disorder. If I wanted to live, I had to DO this.... Here is my COVENANT I made to myself:
My basic responsibility is to TAKE CARE OF MYSELF! Take my meds, see my PCPs, track my symptoms, do my fitness, eat healthy, practice my mindfulness, practice compassionate listening and nonviolent communication, continue learning, etc! Whatever it is I must do, I continue to do it without giving up, writing it off, quitting if I believe in it and it does not cause me ADVERSE stress...
What's ADVERSE stress: Not eating, sleeping, picking fights, all the wonderful symptoms of one's mental illness within one week... If you done 5/10 of them it means you are having an episode and need to speak with your provider, ASAP!
Responsibility to MYSELF TO KEEP MYSELF ON POINT with forgiveness. We ALL relapse. Be gentle, be kind to oneself! We're just more sensitive to our failures than those who are not mentally ill. If we find ourselves making huge mistakes and errors in what we do, such as that at work, with our friends, with our families, okay, you made the mistake...GIVE IT TIME! The decision to forgive the mistake by others is THEIR choice...The decision to forgive yourself from the mistake is YOUR choice... Now, I AM NOT talking about overt criminal behavior--in fact, it is a misnomer that mentally ill persons cause crime... ONLY in the context of outright substance abuse is the combination of mental illness and crime relevant - even for pedophilia. Substances that abused include tobacco and/or alcohol, too. It has been found for schizophrenics, they abuse tobacco, there may be a mutated receptor in their brains that causes the increased addiction to the nicotine. Would they cause crime, well that remains to be seen, but if other illegal substances, such as methamphetamine, and other drugs, making it tough to call and more studies are needed.
TRY to make every effort to get out there and do it...It is SO easy to become reticent in our life duties. From running errands, to going to seminars to network, wow, it is SO easy to give up on ourselves and it does look like wallowing in our own misery. DO NOT FALL INTO THAT TRAP! FIND ANYTHING to get yourself out. If all you can do is tweet me, then do it! I will listen and I coach with suggestions. But you have to tell me if you just want me to listen versus coach. And I charge $60 per hour to coach because what coaching does different from a diagnosis is get you to the goal of you "feeling better" based on your small wins.
Yes, I suffer, so I KNOW what it takes to work through it. Getting out of that FUNK. What I do, is I post what is EXACTLY going through my mind during an episode. Maybe, just maybe a well-meaning and astute researcher will come along and realize what is going on with me that can help others from suffering...So when I get ultra depressed, I post...
The other covenant I make is I make phone calls to my family members who "get" me. Namely my Mother and my Husband. If I call my mother, she just talks and tells me how things are going and the laughter makes me feel much better... If I call my husband, since he is a veterinarian, he goes through a differential diagnosis until he gets flustered and will make be speak to his father, my father-in-law, who is a retired Cardiologist...LOL! If I call my Father, he listens to a point, then he tells me EXACTLY what do, then asks when I am coming home and he will get my ticket...
If all those contacts fail, I call the pros in and I get appointments. By the time the episode is over is when I speak to them. I want to have them "catch me in the act" - RARELY does that occur. But when they do catch me, I get great diagnosis...It is the acting out that helps them. RARELY does that happen even for other Chronic Conditions, like heart attacks... We only know that a heart attack has occurred because 1) Cardiac Arrest; 2) Something is wrong with usual diagnostics (i.e. Echo, EKG); or 3) Catheter block visualization. But for mental illness, it is RARE to see the psychotic behavior when someone is at their "ends rope". There are NO physical diagnostic tests. So how can we tell for ourselves???
KNOW YOUR BODY AND ACCEPT THINGS YOU CAN/CANNOT CHANGE! Fact is, if you are tired and need the rest--GET IT SOME KIND OF WAY! If you know that you get very nervous in huge gridlock traffic at specific times of the day, PLAN YOUR TRIP!!! TAKE YOUR TIME!!! ((Yeah, that happens to me and sometimes, I just don't show up for it, because it is NOT worth my sanity)). Don't expect to lift 100 pounds if you haven't practice in years! Just have fun for now, and gradually build up. The issue with most mental illness is "PATIENCE"...BE PATIENT ESPECIALLY WITH YOURSELF! That has to be THE COVENANT you make with yourself--PATIENCE!!! The reality is, everything takes time and we want to rush it. I know. I have wanted to rush through systems rather than slowing down, breathing through and savor in the moment of my life.
Because ultimately, it is YOUR LIFE, YOUR CHOICE, YOUR DECISION! You make the choice! One choice you CAN make is to do "nothing"...That is the choice you can make. But isn't life much more "sweeter" when you choose to live your life on a healthy decision rather than doing nothing???
Depends on the the episode I am having. When I have mania, I talk,talk, talk, talk, talk...When I am depressed, I listen a lot but I may not hear...It's when I am balanced that I listen more, then speak wisely...
It's been a LONG time since I have dropped this low. Logically, position, stance, target, timing, aim, purpose -- most things are in the correct place. But my mood, feelings, physiology is OUT OF WHACK!!! I am currently sitting here profusely sobbing and I cannot begin to tell anyone why that is? LOGICALLY I know why, I am in a depression.
All my symptoms point to that fact:
Oversleeping, not eating on a schedule
not really "feeling" like doing anything positive - like going outside enjoying what little sunshine Seattle does have
avoiding people, places thing - isolating myself
The few people I can speak to about this get so worried that I wouldn't want to put them through this when all I need is just a listening ear, then again, they really do not have the time. Because they have to work - like MOST people do in real life.
That is probably what is bugging me - I do not have much of a "real life". I had one and I was like "this foul feeling behavior" than I was when I am "relatively mentally healthy".
So, I promised my readers that when I have a full-blown episode, I would post. It is better than the destructive alternatives. Maybe the professionals can do a case conference on me. I do not know? But I do know that I do not like feeling like this.
