The Ari | af | ya Universe: Dr. Gina Moore's Social Media Resume

The Ari | af | ya Universe: Dr. Gina Moore's Social Media Resume: Dr. Gina Moore has worked in social media for 10 years. Her resume is impressive. She has had extensive social media content and risk ...

EPISODE ALERT: Deanna Cook

The 9-11 dispatcher's last comment made to her before she was killed by her ex-husband:

All I can do is try to help you ma'am. It's up to you. You care going to have to. It will be up to you to actually try to do the things that we suggest to you. But if you don't do that than you know police hands are tied.

Basically, what Dallas said is "fuck a Black woman"...

No one gave a shit about "Deanna Cook". She was not smart, she must have been all "this kinna woman" -- i.e. ghetto hoochie mama  to be married to a psycho. And she whined to 9-11 to solve her problems. YUP! //END SARCASM!

All I want to do is destroy the entire lives of everyone involved with this woman seeking help because now she is dead.

The ex-Husband - gone.

The 9-11 dispatchers associated sued or imprisoned.

The police who left a dead body - expelled.

NO ONE GAVE A SHIT ABOUT A DEANNA COOK BECAUSE SHE WAS BLACK! PERIOD!

And I ought not to be shocked.

What if it were me though?

WOMEN'S DAY: Oddly enough... Despite everything... I found what makes me happy

If you follow this blog and you have read about me, I have a PhD in molecular genetics. I have done research on genetically modified mice to understand the genetics of cholesterol, heart disease, diabetes and aging. I have published papers on that research. My last research article was published in 2008.

Then due to a lot of things, one causing a disability of the work, I had to leave research. I love science. I love the pursuit of finding the answer. I love a puzzle and then building a story around it. When I am blocked, I am immobilized. This is not what happened. What happened is 1) I may have a seizure disorder that makes me sick, and when stressed it is worse; and 2) I was forced to do something unethical or I would lose my job. I did it and I wound up being laid off anyway. I decided not to pursue action because I was tired of the University of Washington Medical School politics.

But don't get me started.

Anyhow, I said to myself, that if I EVER get the chance to join a trend at its infancy, I was going to pounce on it as enjoy myself.

Well, I have...

I found Facebook, Twitter, and Google+. I can do some minor coding, nothing extensive. But my content management is awesome. I can say some wild stuff. I get into "debates" and sometimes all out arguments on all kinds of things.

I don't hunt down individuals because that is called "cyberbullying" despite what my haters would say. Oh yes, according to them, I am one. I could see, if I posted, everyday with all my friends to purposely bash them and make them feel humiliated and idiotic everyday, but that is actually a waste of my time. Why take down a troll when blocking or banning them is so easy?

Moreover, there are rules that one can develop when "your own page" or "your turf" is being attacked on social media... (Irony: it's the social media proprietor's turf anyway).

• You can have a "3 strikes and you are out" rule - troll 3 times = ban/block
• You can talk to them to see how the issue can be resolved = that doesn't work with the unmedicated psychos.
• You can ignore it, but on social media it festers fast, so the amount of ignoring will be hard.
• You can impose a "One strike" rule - Say something incendiary, i.e. racist slur, etc; or personal information and you go full throttle with ban, report, delete... If on Twitter, no recourse but to ban. If a blog is written, first ask for removal, then if refused, go higher up...if it means law enforcement, it means that.

Social media is about exchanging ideas and sometimes there will be disagreements. These "debates" can get heated like and Bill O'Reilly freakout. Point is, once it goes personal and there are disparaging remarks that are overall defamation of your character, then it is no longer a debate. It has now become a slug fest.

Believe it or not, this happens to women all the time on social media, such as the case of Anita Sarkeesian and her feminist studies on how women are portrayed in videogames. So when you state a strong belief or idea, and it encounters a barrage of attacks that are personal or group blocking you based on lies, know this is the standard right now on how women who use social media are treated.

Supermodels are treated similarly. Case after case. "Men" are violently bashing women, all over the world.

With the vary nature of "violence" against women changing due to technology, i.e. deranged men (opposed to normal men like my husband)  have advanced the use of technology to keep tabs on the objects of their obsession -- i.e. women to find ways to take power and control over them. If that means using the scare tactics of "drone strikes in their beds" - they will do that.

From an Afrikan Centered point of view - which is the path of the Ariafya - waning age of supremacy is causing some White males to literally become psychotic with narcissistic borderline personality disorder. Psychosis usually causes violence acts, somewhat animalistic without warning.  The placating or soothing the savage beast by the sexualized women has ended. Many Caucasian women have started to find their voice and scream, "NO!". While many women of color, stand by the sidelines counting the dead bodies of men of color at the hands of their men...

That does not mean violence is condoned. It just means the origins of how this kind of destruction is happening. Unfortunately, it will continues. Moreover, some men of color will take up the assault guns and assault women, first women of color with impunity, and then Caucasian women hoping their lynchings will not hurt.

In the end, life will go on. Women will rule this world, like it or not. The way to do it is, keep at the social media and keep saying what needs to be said.

Women can disagree on progress, but what we will all agree up on is revolutionizing the systems that have been built.

Nameste

Moving on for Happiness Sake. How to do?

Miriam Makeba - Mama Africa - 81st Birthday

One of the HARDEST things for me to do is "MOVE ON". I use to think of it as quitting or being a quitter. I use to see it as giving up on people who relied on me. I use to rate my success on others happiness. That my own internal happiness with myself was not worth that much, so if I make others happy as a form of community service for the rent we pay on Earth, then perhaps people will see me as a good person and like me. Afterall, making others happy, will make yourself happy... Right?

BULLSHIT!!!

When you have a mental health condition like depression, where being happy with oneself is important, there is something wrong with the very interior foundation of brain activity in that depressed person. Not forcing community service speeches on them. ONLY TALK THERAPY works, which takes time, where the results are not instant, to get to the level that it is OKAY to have some happiness for yourself. That you are NOT being GREEDY that you have to do "self-care" in order to be your best person.

Just like fitness and eating healthy helps with dealing with personal happiness, so is the TALK THERAPY by a professionally licensed trained provider OR a mental health peer support specialist (which I am) seems to help. Of course this does include action planning. What is the "short term" goals and how will you get there? What is your confidence from a scale of 1-10, 10 being the highest?  So on and so forth. With a licensed provider, you will get the "glitch pathology" work  through -- that is what they go to school for and get the licenses for. With a coach or a peer support specialist, you will just get the worksheet and maybe a few suggestions.

ULTIMATELY - it's your health and you have to work through it for what is best for you by defining your goals. First thing is, context - what does happiness LOOK LIKE for you? And KNOW that it is a work of art, always needing some refinement and you might not get to the final product of how you see it. It's more about the journey -- how you're going to and getting there. You can't read this, it's your own story you are writing and you are learning on the job. There is no manual. And guess what, you have to put your own mask on for oxygen to flow before helping others...

But moving on... Where to just give it ALL UP... Several of my blogs here talk about that... After recent political events, such as the sequester:

People are upset because they feel like they're holding on by a thread and have to give up EVERYTHING in their lives because "walking away" is quitting and giving up. Think of the perspective of our veterans. They fought for this country, they get ZERO disability benefits - PROMISED TO THEM and are having several psychiatric health issues with combat flashbacks. The disability benefits would help them get the care they need, but it takes 50-eleventy years to get it -- after they've come off combat deployment with discharge? WTF??? Uh...What?

But, unfortunately, they have to MOVE ON from the mind-fuck that happened to them and do something with their lives now.

MOVING ON - what does that mean really? I ain't gonna lie... I means giving up, quitting and letting go of the bullshit. Then it means picking up whatever pieces you got left, even if it is nothing and as a survival skill, leaving and trusting that the Universe will understand.

Sometimes, it means, doing your job despite not getting paid for it. Standing for something, even if you will get arrested for it. Being mean to people who love you but are not positive influences on your life. It means, not only are you fucking over them, and you might be fucking over yourself, but in the "END GAME" it means that this fucked up situation is temporary and MOVING ON TO A DIFFERENT LIFE is a CHOICE you made for your own perpetual HAPPINESS!

MOVING ON = SPRING HOUSE CLEANING!

I ain't gonna say it won't hurt. You will have withdrawal symptoms of what once was. Your love of your life will beg to come back in to it, but...

MOVING ON - once you make that decision you don't turn back. So it should happen in your life. 

The issue is, it is about you CHOOSING to move on versus be FORCED to move on...

Forced moving on is worse, because you can't control the day to day operations. I.e. House fell into a sinkhole, loved one got shot and killed, you had a heart attack, etc.

Life is unpredictable.

But you can trust yourself to make the best decisions in your life to attain your happiness for yourself. And if all the bad forced moves happen anyway, then at least you were doing what made you happy...

What if what makes you happy is doing meth?

That's another blog... 

Moving on looks like this:

THEY ARE STILL OUR SLAVES

The origins started at least by 2002. Then iterations traveled across the web and are on youtube. I already know no one reads, by no one reading my blog. I get no comments or questions. Only spammers respond trying to sell me a diet pill. My like numbers are low because I'm not an active blogger on this site. On another site, I am. So at any rate, this statements below are now "urban legend" to motivate us to do more.

The following letter was read on a local radio hip hop/ r&b radio station. It is a letter supposedly from a white person that has been in circulation. Check it out. Some of the people that called to the show actually agreed with it (even though they were blacks). Is there some truth to this, or is it better to dismiss it. It certainly has got me thinking.

BLACKS DON'T READ

THEY ARE STILL OUR SLAVES We can continue to reap profits from the Blacks without the effort of physical slavery. Look at the current methods of containment that they use on themselves: IGNORANCE, GREED, and SELFISHNESS.

Their IGNORANCE is the primary weapon of containment. A great man once said, "The best way to hide something from Black people is to put it in a book." We live now in the Information Age. They have gained the opportunity to read any book on any subject through the efforts of their fight for freedom, yet they refuse to read. There are numerous books readily available at Borders, Barnes & Noble, and Amazon.com, not to mention their own Black Bookstores that provide solid blueprints to reach economic equality (which should have been their fight all along), but few read consistently, if at all. 

GREED is another powerful weapon of containment. Blacks, since the abolition of slavery, have had large amounts of money at their disposal. Last year they spent 10 billion dollars during Christmas, out of their 450 billion dollars in total yearly income (2.22%). Any of us can use them as our target market, for any business venture we care to dream up, no matter how outlandish, they will buy into it. Being primarily a consumer people, they function totally by greed. They continually want more, with little thought for saving or investing. They would rather buy some new sneaker than invest in starting a business. 

Some even neglect their children to have the latest Tommy or FUBU. And they still think that having a Mercedes, and a big house gives the "Status" or that they have achieved the American Dream. They are fools! The vast majority of their people are still in poverty because their greed holds them back from collectively making better communities. With the help of BET, and the rest of their Black media that often broadcasts destructive images into their own homes, we will continue to see huge profits like those of Tommy and Nike. (Tommy Hilfiger has even jeered them, saying he doesn't want their money, and look at how the fools spend more with him than ever before!). They'll continue to show off to each other while we build solid communities with the profits from our businesses that we market to them. 

SELFISHNESS, ingrained in their minds through slavery, is one of the major ways we can continue to contain them. One of their own, W. E. B. Dubois said that there was an innate division in their culture. A "Talented Tenth" he called it. He was correct in his deduction that there are segments of their culture that has achieved some "form" of success. However, that segment missed the fullness of his work. They didn't read that the "Talented Tenth" was then responsible to aid the Non-Talented Ninety Percent in achieving a better life. Instead, that segment has created another class, a Buppie class that looks down on their people or aids them in a condescending manner. They will never achieve what we have. Their selfishness does not allow them to be able to work together on any project or endeavor of substance. When they do get together, their selfishness lets their egos get in the way of the goal. Their so-called help organizations seem to only want to promote their name without making any real change in their community. They are content to sit in conferences and conventions in our hotels, and talk about what they will do, while they award plaques to the best speakers, not the best doers. Is there no end to their selfishness? 

They steadfastly refuse to see that "TOGETHER EACH ACHIEVES MORE (TEAM)!" They do not understand that they are no better than each other because of what they own. In fact, most of those Buppies are but one or two paychecks away from poverty. All of which is under the control of our pens in our offices and our boardrooms. 

Yes, we will continue to contain them as long as they refuse to read, continue to buy anything they want, and keep thinking they are "helping" their communities by paying dues to organizations which do little other than hold lavish conventions in our hotels. By the way, don't worry about any of them reading this letter, remember, 'THEY DON'T READ!!!!' 

(Prove them wrong. Please pass this on!)

Guns and Mental Health

No this is not about Adam Lanza, Holmes or Loughner. This blog is about me, someone with a manic-depressive illness diagnosis. I am considered mentally ill, and I know how to shoot a gun.

I have shot a 22 and a Glock. I shot a small rifle and my dad wanted me to shoot his Winchester Rifle, but the kickback is too strong.

At any rate, I went shooting with my husband and brother-in-law who is a former police officer. I realized my eyes could not focus on a bright orange target from 10 feet away. Realizing after that, I visited my physician and he flatly asked me if I wanted glasses to see, and my eyes had 20/20 vision. But he sent me to a specialist that did find anything wrong except my optic nerve. So then I visited the neurologist who examined me after my MRI - two of them in fact - and said my optic nerve had a "kink" in it, and there was nothing I could do about it.

But the powerful use of guns is not a way to solve any issues. At least I know as a "mentally ill" person, that guns can only protect so much.

For mass shootings, bashing mentally ill will not stop this problem. Watching out for "lone wolves" is not going to work, and restricting guns will fail, too.

What stops shootings at schools are physical barriers with a well defined parameter. But do we want any "barriers" at schools?

I think perhaps having technology and innovation to help us, might prove beneficial.

Why aren't assault rifles "chipped"? Everything else has an RFID, why aren't all assault rifles have smart technology that controls the ability to fire it within city limits difficult without proper permits?

The comedian, Chris Rock, asked why can't the gun permits to be just as difficult as a mortgage in escrow? I do not think criminals care about permits.

But we have chips on everything we do, like our smartphones that you might even be using to read this...

The guns won't work in the city and once you go out hunt feral animals, well... Isn't that what we use assault rifles in the country for?



And then why are we continually forcing our children to go to a brick and mortar type school when they are learning on the computer anyway? WTH? We can put a computer and upgrade them for the lives of our children. The social interactivity can occur by experiential learning and independent study plan.

But I'm mentally ill, who would listen to me.

Newsweek article: American Women Have It Wrong

Comment on the Newsweek article: American Women Have It Wrong

From the outset of this image, as a diverse woman of African descent, I found this Newsweek article interesting, yet derisive.

Another rant of a "Dr. Mary Sue" - a mainstream woman, with the car, the career, the family, the husband, the everything that is not applicable to diverse women at all. If she knew a day in the life, she would not be so cold in her comments.

That women experience pregnancy and childbirth in a deeply physical way. Women are the ones who carry the child for nine months, and whose bodies leap instantly after labor to sustain that child through the first critical months of life. These are physiological aspects of mothering that defy government regulation and corporate policy. And they are not going away.

In context, she was discussing biology that is unchanging and money cannot be thrown at it.  But the mere statement is saying, on the one hand, we women who have bear children do it alone, and on the other hand, "government regulation" and "corporate policy". What about the law? Some women who are "doing it alone" are not doing it by choice...

Because in her next series of discussions, Debora Spar states, that women need to make a choice because we cannot do it all. "No human can do this..." Sure, this is true... But that is still a culturally insensitive statement when having to do it all must be done if we are talking about survival. Yes, something will give. But discounting hope? Are you willing to sacrifice your household for others? No, you will not. Bluntly, what you just said there --"making a choice to have children, career, etc" is disempowering to women, because a lot of women had no choice, i.e. the man raped her...Refusal to receive proper reproductive choices...job biases. These are legal ramifications that yes, a government CAN most definitely regulate and corporations can most give policy on.

Girls need to have all their grandmothers wanted them to have, while looking as pretty as their mothers wanted them to look...You try so hard to be who everyone wants you to be while attempting to maintain some kind of individuality and in the end you seem to lose everything.

In context, Debora Spar speaks on the feeling of it all crashing around you. I think a lot of women, who aspire to be something great go through this, often. Many fail. But appearances are a political fights. There are women that are profiled and discriminated against daily. Just ask a Muslim woman in the United States wearing an Abaya and Niqab... Or a Black Woman choosing to wear dreads vs chemically straightened hair? Or a Latina or Vietnamese woman who speaks limited English? The more astute women attempt to appear more Caucasian to get by in daily life, than to maintain their cultural customs of appearance. Our cries to "sell ourselves short" be it conscious or not, still is not a fear of failure or discovery of a failure, but more like battle wounds for our diverse communities!

...Making a world better for women also demands that women work together...You see the woman who was here before you? Why don't you track her down, and try to work together.

Lovely statement "Dr. Mary Sue" -- really had me going there. I almost bought it until you said  "rural schools for girls in Africa"...

American women have it wrong because in your purview, Dr. Mary Sue, your world is enraptured outward versus looking inward. I think you tried to feel the cause of struggle and you rode on your accomplishments of being a professor for scores and President of a liberal arts college. Beautiful thing by the way. But your disconnect with your pollyannish views that women have husbands that work daily to help you and all you have to worry about is having to read the books versus speaking to sources is not what works for a lot of women. You totally missed lesbian couples who want children!

I am sorry, until all women, especially in the United States, have control over their own destinies including their bodies, especially reproductive health, then choices are being MADE FOR THEM! NOT MAKING THEIR OWN CHOICE!

I know you've written every economic book and your research is stellar, but add the layer of bigotry to your statistics, and I think all your insights will shift. The Government has published several articles on understanding health disparities and their economic impacts.

Therefore, Sistah Mental Health and Wellness has to find your point of view MARY SUE!

Gravy and Grits, Etiquette and Protocol for Social Media

At Sistah Mental Health and Wellness, I have been open about my issues with bipolar and managing my condition with my healthcare providers and my prescribed medications. It has not been easy and some of my issues stem from being female - possible perimenopausal symptoms.

But now it is time for me to re-enter the workforce after a nearly 4.5 year hiatus, 3 of them dedicated to not looking at all due to frustrations of sending my resume into the abyss; and just a desire to get back to a healthier outlook on life, versus one fraught with unreal ideations. Truthfully, I found my passion and social media helped me get there. I have been having so much fun, even with a lot of tears, setting up what I do in social media - social media entertainment and performance. I lose track of time when I am in cyberspace, and I am quite productive! I don't play "Farmville" or whatever flavor of game spinning my wheels, I am reading Mashable or researching new ways for businesses to deliver social media to the public and audience. I take webinars online from Facebook on market strategies, and watch videos on Youtube, and more reading. That is what I do.

I have found that businesses are scrambling to see the next big social media bang. First it was "Myspace" - that degenerated - I was not on there long enough to really see what happened, but what I heard is they had no controls or class, cyberattacks were rampant and businesses did not want to be associated with that. Then really, Facebook that did not really start their "Page" productions until ~2008, and it has evolved since. I like how pages are formatted for business, though I see all crazy kinds of pages with more than 10,000 LIKES, businesses that have well-integrated social media, fair quite well. Moreover, there are filters and controls that administrators can employ to effectively message to their demographic.

Lastly, there is Twitter, which had little controls on bad behavior, and in some ways they still do, but businesses are using Twitter as a customer service control stopgap system that can address the needs of their customers.

All of this to say is some people, especially the socially anxious, do not know customer service, the business they are working for and how it impacts the outreach of their clients. When I encounter belligerent customer service personnel, I will report them to the Better Business Bureau. It means customer service personnel did not take the time to understand the needs of the customer to best deliver the most effective product line to maximize the positive experiences of the customer. I was recently treated that way with "GoDaddy" and I have reported them.

Which led me to understanding the purchasing of several domain names which I have with GoDaddy. The advent of social media portals on mainline sites, like Facebook, Twitter and Google+, why have a website? Why do I need a personalized domain name specific to an independent website, getting it hosted somewhere, upgrades are costly and infrequent, and outreach is limited when selling a major product is not what I do? Why have all these items when it is easier to just make a page, link it to a Twitter account, and Google+ it to a blog that is "free". I am a small business, so every cent counts. My business requires a personalized positive experience which is exactly what social media is!

The problem lies with expansion of outreach, meaning providing multimedia services to an expanding audience, i.e. podcasts and Youtubes. Podcasts have to be hosted on a separate server, doing that costs money, but the audience likes the radio and hearing information. Whereas, Youtubes are visual cues and short ~30 second commercials are shared and enjoyed by millions. Both have a labor cost associated with them, and both require some level of programming support.

As usual, the young people know all these things and find unique ways to manage these efforts. For some us oldbies, we just did not know the possibilities.

So to jobs...

No one is going to GIVE ME a job. I am too old. Gone are the days where you walk into a business and submit your resume, they review it and give you an interview. Those kinds of jobs are not jobs commensurate with my education and do not pay the price I am worth. I am not working for McDonald's like I did as a teenager. I am not a beggar and I worked hard in school to have a choice. My choice is to work on MY BUSINESS so I can hire people to do jobs I need to be done.

My business, social media entertainment and performance in content management. What you put out there in the Twitterverse does come back. Businesses need a social media strategy to implement on how they want to be present and individuals that manage customer service relations in a socially conscious and a "hodegos" way. It is like a party, one does not treat their guests to a party inappropriately, uncouth without etiquette. But one also knows that many people who use social media are social anxious and do not know how to express themselves appropriately and that translates into the work environment for bad behavior. How much is it worth to you as a business for your bottomline to have inappropriate behavior due to poor etiquette and protocol? Or a complete ignorance of social and cultural understanding in this world of people?

I think even small businesses can benefit building a social media strategy based on etiquette and protocol, social and cultural understanding -- essentially what a hodegos does. And I have highly trained in those efforts through my community service resume for over 20 years... I have organized and implemented outreach programs to diverse communities, implements large events, managed parent programs and I have recapitulated in my professional life as a scientist.

Bringing together diverse people is what geeks me out the most in my life and social media fits nicely in doing that. It is my "Joyeux de vive", my muse, my everything I find life to be. It makes me happy. So often in life, people cannot find their "happiness", but I did and I am having the time of my life doing it.

To make me go back into the drudgery of hoping someone gives me a job is asking me to die. Yes, I would love some payment for what I do. Why? For the amount of work I put into what I do, remuneration is deserved, but payment can be bartering, service for service or like purchasing "BlogTalkRadio" time for the year, or Facebook ads for my services, or cutting and editing my podcasts, or finding actors for my performances or writers to review my scripts.  Or administrators for my 400 odd Facebook pages that will not be stolen from me.

What I do is not easy and I dedicate 20 hours building per day. No one will give you that level of intensity online. It is not what they do for projects. Besides, for those who help me, I really should pay them something, but I to hire an employment lawyer who explain how I can do this legally. That is why I am asking for remuneration.

What the audience sees in the end is the "gravy and grits"...

And I now have proof what I do, works.

Visit me --
http://www.facebook.com/IGOTSWAG77
http://www.facebook.com/SWAG77Podcast
https://www.facebook.com/pages/STAR-WARS-Rising-Force-Rebellious-Seed/349085901787433

Anything but...

Reporting to a Nevada news outlet, Ann Romney, wife of Mitt Romney, Republican Presidential candidate, reports that she is concerned about her husband's mental well-being...

That is fine and dandy, but this is the office of the Presidency of the United States. The job is inherently stressful and is hazardous. It is hard as she said. And while they may believe they are doing what is best for the country, having a serious mental health condition is NOT easy to handle for such a powerful position. Can he do the job from the surface of things?

I don't know. I am voting for Obama anyway. So typically I don't care.

But as a person who deals with my own mental health issues and is interested in helping others find resources in managing their mental health issues and promoting health and wellness, especially in diverse women, the issue I have seen is already:

The STIGMA OF MENTAL ILLNESS IS ALIVE AND WELL!

Now that Mitt has "come out of the closet" and whether they were attempting to appeal to people or not, they did not account for the US ignorances on mental health care in this country...

People are IGNORANT!

Let me be more blunt, I am an African American woman, in my 40's who is dealing with bipolar disorder that may have been caused by a chemical imbalance related to having a predisposition in diabetes...

I would rather be lynched by the Klu Klux Klan and killed, than to tell people I am dealing with bipolar disorder and getting professional treatment for it.


This is one of the hardest things to divulge to others when looking for work, because really, I have a disability. I was born with my issue. It is a birth defect in my brain. It only shows itself when I am under duress and am confused. I cannot do everything evenly. That is why my potential is limited. That is why my dreams are deferred. What makes it worse is, I achieved so much in my life and I just cannot do it anymore because I am scared of the stress it will cause me and me having one of those days.

Sad part, Romney is going to hit his bottom for this divulged secret and he is going to have to dig himself out if it.

Star Wars Celebration 6 Issues - The Point Was?

On September 5, 2012 WPLG Miami Local 10 News posted on their website incendiary comments of costumed players, called cosplayers, at the Orlando, Florida event called, Star Wars Celebration VI.

Those comments incensed the Star Wars fan community, because it berated several major Star Wars costuming groups that attend charity events as like, "Darth Vader".  It makes the kids happy!

Of the key groups targeted were:

501st Legion
Rebel Legion
The Dark Empire
Mandalorian Mercs Costuming Club

And countless other persons who have a hobby as dressing up like Darth Vader, pretending you are like him and posing for pictures with the kids.

Some people spend a lot of money on their costumes and while that money can go toward community service programs, doing cosplay is some people's hobby. In fact, it is some people's way of life.

At the convention, there are seminars or panels on a variety of topics related to Star Wars fandom. The popular ones involve the major actor appearances and premiere showings of movies or television shows. The lines are long for those and one must stand hours on end to attend said events, unless there are advanced ticket sales, which usually can sell out.

But there are other panels that include: Writing, Filming, Collecting and Prop making. Sometimes, there is insider access to the nuts and bolts of the movie industry itself. There may be one on one interaction and dialogue with the presenter.

I had a fan table and with the help of my wonderful husband, I was able to attend a few of these "other panels". I attended the "hot events" - one event I came to late and could not get in. But better luck next time.

As fan table, I handed out SWAG77 Maul Squares that has our information on the back in a QR Code.

I had a television connected to my computer and I used a wireless hotspot (kinna recommend not doing that again). We showed our activities on Facebook and Twitter. I even had a "MIC" that could record my voice for later podcasts. But there was more I needed done.



I had a "costume" if you call it that, but for mobility reasons, I chose to wear it one day. As my costume, I had a helmet! It was a lovely helmet. I paid a lot of money to get and have it painted. Even the director of the television show liked my helmet. Even Seth Green, the actor and producer of Robot Chicken, took a picture of my helmet.

My geekitude levels were high ever since.

Then, roughly a week after the event, I see fellow cosplayers photographed and propped up on a website with condescending messages, such as, "Dateless men", "hairy women" and "Luke Skyywalker" in reference to Luther Campbell the rap artist.  This came from a Miami

The backlash by the Star Wars community was immediate. Then it got me wondering, what WPLG Local 10 did is a part of cultural disequilibrium. Unfortunately, the reporters they sent up to Star Wars Celebration 6 failed to understand the cultural impact of what going to a convention or "Cons"  means to attendees.

While my first time attending a Star Wars Con, I had attended a few cons before, I actually attended San Diego ComicCon like BACK IN THE DAY in like 1984 at Scottish Rite. But that just shows my nerdiness as a kid when my parents had no clue I really liked that stuff. I am a recent convert who has embraced my inner geek and relished in it. Sad part is, I get from both sides, again.

GEEZ! That means I need to write this, Channeling Princess Leia thing.

But this does not give the reporters a pass on their actions. However, it does help me understand their issues with Star Wars Celebration. Even my own family was like, "WHOA" with all the amazing costumes!  But in a larger society, many different communities do not really understand the "nerdy-geeky". Sadly, to them, there are only REAL WORLD issues that can never be solved in a fantasy, fictional society.  That the amount of money spent on a costume could have helped someone debilitated.

I say to that, the creative mind is our strongest weapon against society's ills. To dream a big dream is what drives up to go to the stars and change lives. Sometimes all a sick child has are his or her superheros cheering them on...

Who are we to judge what hobbies people have when it does not hurt anyone? There are fans who go to football and basketball games. Fans that attend concerts to see their favorite artists. And there are fans who like movies, such as Star Wars in particular, that want to delve deep into the Force and find another way to their life some happiness.

Whatever the reason for people's geekdom, it is still tapping into the creative mind, and when others judge that, it devalues us individually and our humanity.

There are times for most things and sometimes, being creative is not always the answer. Sometimes we do have to "grow up" and be analytical. And as a scientist with a Ph.D. in molecular genetics with published papers in cardiology, diabetes, aging, and cancer,  I know the precision required to move in a thought process.

And then, there sometimes, I want to dance and express myself, gleefully on what brought me joy as a child.

WARNING TRIGGER WORDS: The Systematic Silencing of Women Online

I just came from a panel where there was gross harassment and cyberbullying specifically to silence a dissenting voice or a voice that posited a different POV. The right of intelligent dissension is the basis of democracy and a fairer society. It allows for evolution to take place. The silencing "INTELLIGENT" dissent, condones dictatorship.

Civil discourse is what we strive to do. Apparently Facebook/Twitter has not evolved to that level of experience and education yet. It's more like a free-for-all where people can post random opinions without much thought to them and are purposefully hurtful by the language they use, i.e. profanity (Fuck, Shit, Bitch are keywords here) And racial epithets, like "Nigger Whore", which I have been called.

Moreover, to say to "ignore them" is to minimize what is really happening here: Outright silencing and targeting whomever is resisting. Which makes this issue systemic and ingrained. Something is wrong with some people's minds and it is a learned behavior, not biological/chemical/medical mental illness. It is a reward system to dominate the thoughts of others.

I posted this meme out of exasperation. At some point, arguing become pointless and unworthy of my time, but an ounce of education and insight into a matter I do understand, I will try to help. That's me. It isn't everybody. Point is a lot of people don't know how to act or behave online and they have brain-mouth filter problems. Then the power comes of the enthralling domination to silence another's voice. And that makes this social media experience a negative one.

I added my truism: 

When I stop posting and ban/block you, it doesn't mean you've won. It simply means your stupid ass isn't worth anymore of my time.

Fact is, these comments are going to get worse as the political climate heats up. We already know what angle both will go. This is politics. But it is unhealthy for us trying to stay mentally well.

GeekGirlCon 2012

I attended the second GeekGirlCon today with great enthusiasm to learn various points of view from notable "geek girls" and women involved in comics, sci-fi, fantasy and all things considered nerdy and geeky.

One of the sessions I attended involved, Ms. Anita Sarkeesian who was on the panel with other esteemed women, entitled, "Go Make Me Sandwich" and the cyberattacks and bullying she and others incurred on their accounts. Ms. Anita Sarkeesian's attacks were the most egregious and ugly, by some individuals who were named. Moreover, the attacks she incurred were similar to mine although I did not incur the kind of wrath she endured.

The point that all the panelists made is that these attacks are used to silence women who think for and fend for themselves against men who feel entitled. I would say, most are men who perpetrate they viciousness. At the same time, I have seen women who have viciously damaged reputations of women due to being petty, as in my case.

In another session, the group led by Ms. Rebecca Watson, outright stated that it is misogyny that drive these cyberattacks. Another member who is a writer for SkepChick, Ms. Amy Davis her business was attacked and the variety of ways the internet and social media is used to oppress women of strength, and left to defend themselves.

I myself have been "Called everything, but a child of God", an old term used by my African ancestors, and my business was attacked similarly. The session called for providing support mechanisms to combat the lunacy done by a few bad apples. Sad part is these lunatics create several accounts to attack an individual, in the case of Twitter, and then pass themselves off as a friend, especially in the case of Facebook.

Since I am new to Youtube, I do not know much about the comment section moderation, but it makes me not accept comments in my section, whatsoever!

Aside from the fact these social media outlets need to be held culpable for behavior that is inappropriate for parlance or civil discussion or debate, the fact is people feel entitled to think anything can be said to other people. I am not say, Black vs. White debate. Or even the complex issue of Suicide Ideation Online. What I am talking about is as if you would start to believe that your names are, "Cunt Nigger Bitch" and you are called that everyday...

What if that occurred to a girl and she commits suicide?

That is not right, at the same time, individuals who coerce people to misbehave and harass lone individuals, also called cybermobbing, need to be held as an accessory to perpetuating the demeaning of another human.

What happens to individuals who endure these heinous acts online, psychologically?

• Changes in appetite
• Obsessing about comments or what could have been said
• Doubt
• Rage
• Anger
• Lashing out or irritability

Similar to symptoms of depression...

How should one deal with these kinds of things?

Others casually say: "Do not feed the trolls". Sometimes you cannot because these perpetrators stalk you, like what was done to me, called STANS: Stalking + Fans.  Due to the viciousness of attacks, immediately I ban and block. I am harsh about it, too. I do not joke around. Individuals may cry, but very rarely do I forgive after presenting oneself disrespectfully in my small cyberspace!

Generally what I do is:

For Facebook:
Any inappropriate behavior as simple as it seems that is even awkward, I ban and block. Don't care, get over it, this is business. You use profanity one my Facebook Fan Pages, I ban and block. Any sexual content unapproved, ban and block. I am not having a discussion on your thoughts and ideas to be your friend on Facebook Fan Pages. That is not the nature of my Fan Pages. My Fan Pages are well defined. If you are on Sistah Mental Health and Wellness Fan Page and attack it because of my "Star Wars" or SWAG77 pages --- YOU WILL BE BANNED AND BLOCKED --- get over it, that simple.

For Twitter:
Like some airlines do, I profile you. I go to your profile, look at what you tweet. If I don't like it, BLOCK! I don't care what you have to say, I don't care about your opinion. I don't like it, I block you. Simple. Easy to remember.

The same will go for YouTube and all the blocks. You say something out of order that is not related to the topic at hand, I BAN YOU AND I BLOCK YOU! Sorry, after what I have endured, I have to fend for myself and my interests.

If you want to join me in what I do, I need to have spoken to you in real life, I have to see your real life accounts, and I will interview you and interrogate all your social media channels. If I don't agree with your social media behavior, I will not ask you to join. It is not about content, it is about business. You may think you are free to use my material, but it will be very hard for you to continue your progress if you are trying to slight me. I outdo you just by your false ability to defame me...

Anyone who hates me and reads this blog and decided to make doppelganger accounts specifically to tease me, let me tell you, this blog is reviewed by mental health professionals, and this makes it a clinical trial.

Threaten me with rape, killing me by coming to my house...Careful... What's the title of this "blog"?

The "Gabby Douglas" Look - Take a Picture Of Yourself Looking Like Her & Post It On FB, Twitter & G+

Ms Gabrielle Douglas is the phenomenal young lady who won two Gold Medals in the London 2012 Summer Olympics in gymnastics.

And as African American women all we can do is judge the young lady's hair...

First watch what it takes to raise on Olympian, and then I will share my thoughts:

Bluntly, Gabrielle Douglas is 16 years old and on the United States Gymnastics Team for the 2012 Olympics in London. She won 2 Gold Medals. 

She dedicated most of her life to make this dream come true. And then to only be killed by some clueless, ignorant "kneegrows" who need "foots" up their lazy asses!

You big fat, ugly, idiotard, that require a crane to get off the couch and get out there to exercise! You run off at the mouth on social media because you are dumb and you want to judge a young woman who has dedicated herself to something great!

Her form on the various Gymnastic challenges is more important than her hair. Living in Iowa to train for 28 hours+ with a White family cared for her and who knows nothing about being Black is more important that her hair! Her mindset to compete at the Olympic level and her confidence needed to to do good job representing her country, her grace and demeanor after she had won is more important than her hair! 

I HATE HER HATERS FOR DOING THIS TO HER!

Another subjugation of Black Women to fit under the ideals of a beauty standard that no Black Woman can possibly fit. If Ms. Gabby Douglas had an Afro or Braids she would be disrespected for having that by these fat lazy people! Then in Iowa, who does braids like that? She has done well with what she knows, so give her a break! I did  not learn how to do my hair until I was in college and I have a lot of hair! And braids fall out or become matted. Besides a more African image would unfortunately not be accepted in the mainstream culture despite what we think. I'm sorry, but this is how the world is. Get over it! Now, she has the gold medals and can change that perception. Besides, it is more than I can say to you "Gabby Hair Haters". Thankfully she can do whatever she wants with her hair.

Fact is if Ms. Gabrielle Douglas did not have her hair like that, she would have not looked like those other girls on her team. Yes, she unwittingly took the safe route to fit in the mainstream. Subconsciously, she did not know that she was playing into a "Damned if you do or don't trap". Forget the fact the judges would have felt intimidated if her hair had braids. But this was her chance to win and make a lot of people proud. We can say sponsors, but really, she make girls of African descent proud and have the ambition to pursue gymnastics at the Olympic level.

So why bash the most vulnerable young lady on that team? I don't see anyone bashing the other young lady who lost the Gold Medal to the Romanian girl? I don't see anyone getting on the case of the USA Water Polo team. I did not see anyone bash all the guys on the US Volleyball Team who lost to Italy. So, why the Black girl who won two Gold Medals? Because kneegrows are ignorant and are ungrateful.

Which makes me think this was a plant by the bigots. The KKK and White Supremacist groups did not have to use their subautomatic machine guns and blast people way for the stupid kneegrows to come out and tap-dance. You fools played right into their "Armageddon Race War Plans". Terrorizing a Black girl that won two Gold Medals. Ok. I got you.

Flat out, attacking and berating a US Olympic Team member for winning medals is UNPATRIOTICE and is TERRORISM! You HATE America when you bash a winning member! ALL US Olympians are like active duty military personnel and veterans -- they are off limits for harsh criticism. Period! 

You did not work as hard as they did to get to the Olympics and compete, and then win. 

You can say your stupidity as your "freedom of speech", but you are lame and idiot when you do it! 

And I hope Gabrielle Douglas sues you for terrorism!

On that note: Here's my Gabrielle Douglas look - I ask all celebrities to take a picture like mine and post them everywhere on social media for Ms. Gabrielle Douglas Win Day!

When I Wanted To Be A Supermodel And How Science Saved Me

When I was ~13ish, I wanted to be a Supermodel. Being a model was glamorous and powerful in the early 1980's. Those ladies wore the sexiest clothes, everyone fawned on them, they lived the best lifestyle, they were beautiful and I wanted to be one of them.

My parents as loving as they were sent me to "John Robert Powers" Modeling School to learn how to walk, talk, and present myself, publicly. Since, I did not like singing or acting due to me not liking those rehearsals or understanding one has to rehearse to looked "finished", I erroneously thought that modeling would be easier.

It was in some ways. But I never thought I would encounter bigotry and have to face it at a young age. I don't think I ever told my parent's this because it was not something I did. I thought I could handle it on my own at 13 years old, and I did not have the experience and comprehension to understand the "beauty industry".

But, I grew up trying to present my best glamorous self to the public throughout high school. That was a mistake because it led to risky behaviors, which were manifest at the time in the mid-1980s. I was part of the "party drug scene" and most kids in my area were in that "meat grinder". I think that was part of the reason I pursued science, because, the ugly side of entertainment could be avoided.

However, I did participate in small "beauty pageants" and "fashion shows". Quite a few actually, both in high school and college. So, in some ways, my John Robert Powers education worked!

When I was near graduation from highschool, I was with my family in an exclusive restaurant in San Diego, for Sunday Brunch and I was piggin' out.  However, I wore this style of dress from the 1940s with spiked heels and glided to the food bin. Apparently, a director of the large pageants was watching me and spoke to my parents about me considering in the big competitions. My mother intervened and said I was going to Spelman College and that was it! That essentially ended my real pageant career -- LOL!

The reason why I brought this up is there is a new documentary on HBO, called "About Face: Supermodels Then And Now". These iconic images in a field disrespected but glamorized in the 1980s and the women who were the epitome of beauty in their time had to redefine themselves at 30 years old and somehow find a way to do it. Most have, but the current system has been lagging. As young women enter, by the time they reach 30 years old, presentation can only go so far, education is what takes anyone further.

Let me say one thing about the "beauty industry" specifically why I left it when I was young: At that time, in my life, I felt ugly. Depression had taken its hold. I just wanted to cut up my face and not be beautiful and be a monster because that was how I felt. As heartbreaking as it was for my mother to ever hear that coming out of my mouth, somehow, God (or whatever it is called) found a way for me to be safe in science. Oh yeah, the bad cliche that scientists are nerdy, physically ugly people shut off from the world. I can tell you, some of them are the sweetest most beautiful people in the world no matter their size.  It was science that kept me alive and allowed me to survive from that meat-grinder of entertainment in the 1980s.

Today, it is a tad bit different, but more people are aware of what it takes for entertainment. Training in not selling oneself to the Devil for 2 seconds of fame or doing things for a little bit without working hard for it. Sure, there are several people who take the easy route and only think of the money, but life sustainability and happiness comes through enlightenment, wisdom, experience and education.

I don't know how far this social media entertainment information will take me or if it will be profitable, but I do know I have a lot of fun doing it, my creativity in the work and wrought of it makes me the happiest I have ever been in 5 years. There are tears when it fails miserably because neurologically, that is something our brains do when we creatively express ourselves. Since my brain is prone to bipolar, I feel the ups and downs of my creative expression harder. Same as I felt with science, but my analytical side would lose to my creative side. Go figure?

Also, in both worlds, entertainment and science, I was incredibly lonely and insecure. I did not like myself a lot and it gave me a "stank attitude" that would lead me to tears all the time. My thoughts about life were poor and no one could help me but myself. Have a weathered that storm? No. But today, there are rays of sunshine most days.

As a child, I wanted to be a supermodel, and science saved me from it.

Here is what I looked like as young adult. There are many more images:

I was ~17-18 years old

~26 Years Old

Waste Management Fail! Why Do They Always Jack Us!

Waste Management picks up our trash and recycling. We pay for them to do that for us. Today, Wednesday, July 25, 2012, their trucks neglected our complex again - the second time it has been done intentionally.

I understand labor and contract disputes, but there is the issue of sanitation, that we pay for on a regular basis. And Waste Management trucks picked up at the "Windward" complex today, because I saw them do it.

They are doing it to my complex, Meadowview, to make a point - they think our residents are rich. We are not. We have been hit just as hard by the recession as Waste Management has and to neglect us is because you cannot get along is lame and risks human health.

I am contacting anyone who will listen. I am broadcasting on ALL MY SOCIAL MEDIA CHANNELS: Facebook, Twitter, Google+, this blog and now Youtube  to let everyone know that whatever it is Waste Management is got going and not doing needs a full investigation with accounting and sanitation.

Here's what it looks like in my neighborhood:

Jesse Jackson, Jr. - He Should Just Have A Heart Attack -- I'm being sarcastic

Jesse Jackson, Jr. has a "mood disorder" and he is in treatment. Good for him. Yet, at the same time, he is being attacked by his constituency for his absence and they are sounding like they want to be up into his business. Like, why does he have it? Not to mention what is a "mood disorder".

Well let's look at this: A mood disorder usually is when a person is depressed, manic or psychotic.  It is diagnoses by a clinician it is a treatable medical issue. The person requiring hospitalization from it is under duress and trauma. It is just like a person having a heart attack, treatment by a professionally licensed health care provider and emergency team is strongly recommended.  After the insult, recovery is needed.

"A mood disorder is not a question of personhood, but a medical condition" says Dr. Drew on CNN with Anderson Cooper.

But knowing those in the African American community and the stigma of mental illness, no wonder Mr. Jackson has been hospitalized since June 19th. If it was a heart attack, he'd be in intensive care for more than 3 months and everyone would pity him. But having a feeling of being out of control about to go crazy and seek help for it -- oh, that's right, one is weak and has to explain himself the truth no matter what it is!


Okay. Let's talk about what group therapy looks like at the University of San Quentin, today, shall we?

ON SOAPBOX!

IF YOU DON'T HAVE YOUR HEALTH, WHAT DO YOU HAVE? 

Ultimately, in this "political health climate", YOU have to take care of yourself and know what your body needs.

No, many of us did not take any health classes, we are not healthcare providers, and we cannot test ourselves! Google and WebMD are starts, but not the final authority of what is ailing us. Alternative complementary medicine has become "mainstreamed" and we are now seeing the response to that experience.

Based on several public health studies on health disparities that I have read, the issue is of FREEDOM, POVERTY and INJUSTICE!

Most women of color have not had a range of freedoms to see the best doctors at the best hospitals in the best of all possible worlds.

Most women, not all, are climbing out of cycles of devout physical poverty in the United States. But there is also "poverty of the mind" or ignorance. Some women just do not know and cannot do better. Some women do not even understand! So, thinking you are on the same point when you are not, negative.

INJUSTICE! That is a systems issue that society doesn't want to deal with because the problem is too complex to handle. Which puts it back on the individual, unfortunately, you and me.

Let me be clear:

This blog post is not advice and cannot be used as mental health professional advice. It is for entertainment purposes only. If you feel any negative emotions that may cause you harm, call 9-1-1 or 1-800-273-TALK

That said, taking care of your mental health and wellness is a LIFESTYLE CHANGE!

Just like losing weight and having fitness, so does your mental health have to be exercised. THERE IS NO QUICK FIX! And if someone is trying to sell you some, give the money to me because I need it and will put better use to it. THAT'S A JOKE!!!

How do you exercise your mental health to wellness?

There are several ways, most of them with a professionally licensed healthcare provider. Why? Because the issue of mental illness is about a true brain "lesion" in your mind that causes your thoughts to get stuck and is hard to release...

Sorry, we scientists have not gotten that far on the medication to stop those negative thoughts. We thought we were close, but it doesn't happen for everyone and some issues do not respond to medication. Nevertheless, a professional licensed healthcare provider is the FINAL AUTHORITY on any medication treatment options.

No. Natural does not work. It pains my heart to say that because I am a firm believer of not want to take many medications, but most mental health issues are about "delicate balance" and it has to be "titrated" slowly into the body for maximum benefit. Sorry, we scientists did not get enough funding to really understand the reason why this occurs. My guess is some of the molecular issues that cause very bad feelings and thoughts to occur are partly environmental. That means, not only pollution and poor living arrangements, but also those involved in freedoms, poverty and injustice... What we learn, how we fit and how we live in society.

There is no biological factor that we can measure at this time that predicts with scientific accuracy what will happen with said mental health conditions...

Group therapy, you take a ZOOMBA class with others, some mental health groups are just the same...

Study sessions on how to improve your mental health outlook. It is like you take a class and you have a workbook and you complete the tasks. I am unsure of the therapeutic outcomes from doing this, but I have a few of the books and they helped me.

One on one's with a professionally licensed healthcare provider. It worked for me. You have to find the right person. It is like a job interview. Most have started to ask, "What do you want out of our sessions"? If you are falling apart crying a storm, this may not be the best for you at the time. Something else may be better.

Working with a psychiatrist who prescribes medication. When you are falling apart and ready to take action of trying to commit suicide, this would be the person you will have to speak to when you get to that point. But there are SEVERAL steps involved and numerous laws to follow.  If you are reading this and feel you are there, what I will say, this blog is not for you and you need to read, metanoia.org RIGHT NOW!

When you are stable, you still have to see your psychiatrist. He or she will track the effectiveness of your medications if any and monitor the medical aspects of your mental health condition. Such as, depression - there are standard symptoms that some who is clinically depressed cannot hide that is "watched" by your physician.

After awhile, you get use to these things and start talking "turkey" with your providers about how to handle your condition.... But let me tell you what gets you there is nearly 20 years of staying on top of your mental health and wellness.

Yes, as a matter of fact, mental health and wellness is like scrambling to stay healthy like any other condition that someone can have, such as:

• Diabetes
• Heart Disease
• Hypertension
• Cancer
• HIV/AIDS

*looks up at these conditions and sees how each of them affects diverse communities. Hmm?*

In fact, would you say the same mental health stigmatizing things if you switched the issue with say, "Cancer"?

But you still have to do your part. If you are given anti-hypertensive medication, you do not skip your medication or it will not work and you will have heart palpitations...

Then why are you skipping your Lithium or Lamictal and not telling your doctor?

There are NO PASSES for messing up on your mental health regimen, you have to stay right on top of it. You have to try very hard to work at it. And you have to have this mentality when seeking the optimal care for your mental health issue.

Yes, it sucks. And if I could have a magic wand and wish this away with my godlike power and hope that God heals me, I would. But, you know what? God made me, too and while He wants me to be and do better, the tapestry of my life has not been completely woven and is not finished. Ultimately it is about my service to Him. And I think He's trying to say--help others with this small tiny spot--like a Isle--that is a Sanctuary...in a torrential ocean in cyberspace...

Let's get started! :)

I HATE SEATTLE! UW, RACISM & NIH!

In 2007, I worked for a man who definitively was a sexist bigot. I thought I was okay mentally to handle this person, I was not. I worked their for 9.5 months on a specialized grant entitled the NRSA T32 grant. The stipulation to working in his lab is to figure out the rough blood pressure measurements on mice in the lab by tail cuff assay. The lab had various genetically modified mice that affected genes involved in regulating blood pressure. They had these mice with ZERO blood pressure data on them for over two years. After reading several scientific articles and the history of using a tail cuff assay to measure blood pressure, I developed a scientific and behavioral protocol to get preliminary measurements on these mice. I was successful. Unfortunately, that is when the problems started for me.

The last straw was having to find out from a fellow co-worker that my boss thought, the only reason why I was there was because I was Black and the only way I got my Ph.D. was through affirmative action...

I endured that psychosis during graduate school and it made me neurlogically ill causing seizures. I was not going to endure that from this laboratory.

So I plainly said I will leave for I needed to not commit suicide. For nearly 3 years since 2007, I have paid a lot of money for therapy, taking courses on improved health and better communication, developing positive ways to deal with grief and loss of a scientific research position - because I actually do love molecular genetics, but it is wrong to be in a position of duress.

Then in 2009, the United States economy tanked and many people were laid off from jobs. In Seattle, Washington, jobs at that time were scarce. While I attempted to seek employment, I got hundreds of letters from potential employers giving me rejection letters. I really worked hard to find any position even if it was demotion. These positions were nowhere to be found.

Also, between 2009-2010, I volunteered at Evergreen Hospice Bereavement follow up calls until I suffered from a huge loss, and then that had to stop. I volunteered at Group Health Living Well With Chronic Conditions. I took a Washington State Peer Specialist Mental Health support advocate. I did whatever I could to find avenues to employment. Meanwhile received documents from National Institutes of Health about paying money back for a job that actively discriminated against me.

Yes, I sought help from the University of Washington. I did not get any. I thought it was best to let go of what happened. It would have caused me stress making me have seizures again. Perhaps, I should have not let go.

Now, in the mail, I get this letter below:

I owe the United States Government, National Institutes of Health who will report my name to the Credit Agencies a lot of money.

Money there is no way I possibly have. No one has. Nothing. Going after me, the most vulnerable who has suffered a traumatic event causing me to have similar illnesses as our returning veterans, yes, they do this to me.

This is why I HATE SEATTLE!

University of Washington supports sexist bigots to do their scientific research. And those who work through the serious scientific issues are blasted away. YES I SAID IT! GET OVER IT! BECAUSE YOU DID ME WRONG!

OCCUPY!
ANONYMOUS!