Sunday, October 17, 2010
NSFW: Black Women You Are Beautiful! #Mental #Health #Wellness
My sistahs out there, I just want you to know YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! Even when the globe tells you that you are ugly... THE UNIVERSE KNOWS YOUR BEAUTY!
This image describes your beauty to me:
The image is of the Goddess Yemaya...
Out of the million of writings on African American Women and images of beauty, I will be writing from a mental health perspective. Many of my younger sistahs out there, many of them single and very smart, are frustrated when the men who are the the object of their affection tell them that they prefer women from another ethnic group because Black women are unattractive to them. Aside from that hurting us at our core and seeing how much misogyny is in our music, how does this affect the behavioral psychology on Black Women in the United States?
It decimates us...
From campaigns bashing women who have babies out of wedlock to inability to sell products unless a caricature is implemented like that of Oprah in mainstream media:
It goes to show us that within a hundred of years, the degenerate images of what a Black Woman is has evolved rapidly... What do we as educated women do to protect the self-esteems to become mentally health of our young girls coming up entrenched in this kind of negative reinforced stereotypes?
NOTHING!
The social determinants of health said that health is not obtained due to poverty and injustice. Beyond the fact that these images are hurtful when many Black Women do not fit these stereotypes, the fact that it eats our minds psychologically and our souls spiritually is what makes this hurts mentally.
Then this statement ran across my desk:
This article goes into detail about the subjugation of Black Women. The fact is we are violate societal norms, it is hard to be passive when we see and experience injustice and racism, we will not go back to servitude and we threaten just because we are there. And we cannot hide because we are present...
This seems to happen to more highly educated African American women. It is because we have all this education, experience in the injustice and racism that we want to save those younger than us so that they do not suffer our fates. For the next little Black girl...Give back to those...Reach those and lift as we rise...
But who is bolstering those up when our souls are depleted?
NO ONE!
The back story first: While I hold a doctorate in molecular genetics and have done research in cardiovascular biology with published papers, my interest in mental health and wellness is borne from finding ways to deal with my own ailments. I write this blog when I need healing outside of what my therapy regimen provides.
Another way I seek therapy is through social media and in particular roleplaying by writing stories and performing them on social media outlets, such as Twitter. I found this thrilling and exciting for me. It is what "floats my boat" in life. But the themes I examine are that form a mental health nature or injustice. I ought to have know that racism is pervasive and worse on social media due to the perceived anonymity by people who do not know how to interact with diverse people. Moreover, the young people do not know their history, so one must be patient in teaching them that reality by slowly advancing their story with multiple inputs.
Kids do and say anything and when I say kids, I mean those under 25 years old. My favorite roleplaying genre is Science Fiction. My favorite writers is Octavia Butler. As a scientist who is now a business woman, I often wonder who is putting the science in the fiction? Like that of Aldous Huxley and Ray Bradbury? With there being a lag in science education overall and lack of women in science in general, what would be the numbers of African American number in science courses today, then those who choose to write about it in a fictional format?
Then posit that with multiple media inputs, such as novels, comics, graphic novels, animation, movies along with social media where the bulk of young people get 90% of their historical information? What would be the image pervasive about African American Women?
Then I found the answer of this "bamboozled fantasy " in the most likely of places as to why this is happening to us Sistahs out there. An answer in pornography (NSFW NSFW NSFW):
This image sends a message to our young African American women that the ONLY way to any man's heart is be ignorant, subdued and sexually violated...Then like that sexual violation as an appreciation of kindness...
What is worse is many African American womens' ancestors--the Black Women to come before us--were actively sexually violated in this manner. Including my own ancestors...
Many Black women have been sexually abused by either molestation or rape, either in a relationship or not. Add the layer of education with the knowledge of the injustice and racism, involved and have men, some Black, actively berate our existence publicly on social media in blogs or elsewhere through the caricaturization of our images we condone as beautiful...
That we cannot sell ideas unless we placate the masses who buy our products. That we are hypersexualized. That we are only worthy for an exotic sexual adventure...
Well...
What does that do to a Black Woman's mental health state and self-esteem?
We commit suicide...
That is what it does...
No one will protect us. We protect ourselves, by ourselves for ourselves. No one comes to the sanctity of Black Womanhood other than Black Women. And even then, we are attacked by our own...
What can we do since we cannot change this ugliness? Survive? Are we?
NO...And yes...
We can be oblivious and hope that we do not die of breast cancer in an early age because this kind of oppression become suppressed physical ailments.
Or we can fight, but be dehumanized to an element like the Sapphire Caricature...Shunned and shamed as unladylike by even those in our community. Our words unheard. Our thoughts suppressed. Our humanity ignored.
We can also go crazy... Probably where I am as I write this... And that list is in my blog posts.
Lastly we can evolve...
How?
I really do not know, anymore in this day of age of Social Media? But life is ever-changing and everlasting... We can become that which we seek as beautiful. Because these caricatures are a recent historical development. Human history is possibly 200,000 years old. Recorded history is possibly 5000-8000 years old. And modern human beings are thought to derived from Africa. And if African natives were the cradle of civilization, then at some point we LOVED Black women and found them beautiful... They are our mothers, our sisters, our aunts and our grandmothers. They brought life forth into us and continued life even in the midst of all pain... Life goes on... Everlasting to everlasting...
From Beloved by Toni Morrison:
Baby Suggs: And the beat, beat, of your heart... Love it. More than the lungs that need yet to breathe free air. More than the womb, which holds life. More than the private parts that give life. Love your heart. This... this is the prize. Amen. This the prize... Amen!
Baby Suggs: Over yonder, they do not love your flesh. Oh, my people... they do not love your hands. Those, they only use, tie, bind, chop off and leave empty! Love your hands! Raise them up, and kiss them.
Go to 7:27 minutes to understand...
The struggle we fight for is for principalities...But remember LOVE is what carries to triumph over hate and fear. Because really, anyone who subjects a woman based on her beauty is insecure his/herself and fears you.
Remember YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!
This image describes your beauty to me:
The image is of the Goddess Yemaya...
Out of the million of writings on African American Women and images of beauty, I will be writing from a mental health perspective. Many of my younger sistahs out there, many of them single and very smart, are frustrated when the men who are the the object of their affection tell them that they prefer women from another ethnic group because Black women are unattractive to them. Aside from that hurting us at our core and seeing how much misogyny is in our music, how does this affect the behavioral psychology on Black Women in the United States?
It decimates us...
From campaigns bashing women who have babies out of wedlock to inability to sell products unless a caricature is implemented like that of Oprah in mainstream media:
It goes to show us that within a hundred of years, the degenerate images of what a Black Woman is has evolved rapidly... What do we as educated women do to protect the self-esteems to become mentally health of our young girls coming up entrenched in this kind of negative reinforced stereotypes?
NOTHING!
The social determinants of health said that health is not obtained due to poverty and injustice. Beyond the fact that these images are hurtful when many Black Women do not fit these stereotypes, the fact that it eats our minds psychologically and our souls spiritually is what makes this hurts mentally.
Then this statement ran across my desk:
The Sapphire Caricature portrays Black women as rude, loud, malicious, stubborn, and overbearing.1 This is the Angry Black Woman (ABW) popularized in the cinema and on television. She is tart-tongued and emasculating, one hand on a hip the other pointing and jabbing (or arms akimbo), violently and rhythmically rocking her head, mocking African American men for offenses ranging from being unemployed to sexually pursuing White women. She is a shrill nagger with irrational states of anger and indignation -- prone to being mean-spirited and abusive. Although African American men are her primary targets, she has venom for anyone who insults or disrespects her. The Sapphire's desire to dominate and her hyper-sensitivity to injustices means that she is a perpetual complainer, but she does not criticize to improve things; rather, she criticizes because she is unendingly bitter and wishes that unhappiness on others. The Sapphire Caricature is a harsh portrayal of African American women, but it is more than that; it is a social control mechanism that is employed to punish Black women who violate the societal norms that encourage Black women to be passive, servile, non-threatening, and unseen.
This article goes into detail about the subjugation of Black Women. The fact is we are violate societal norms, it is hard to be passive when we see and experience injustice and racism, we will not go back to servitude and we threaten just because we are there. And we cannot hide because we are present...
This seems to happen to more highly educated African American women. It is because we have all this education, experience in the injustice and racism that we want to save those younger than us so that they do not suffer our fates. For the next little Black girl...Give back to those...Reach those and lift as we rise...
But who is bolstering those up when our souls are depleted?
NO ONE!
The back story first: While I hold a doctorate in molecular genetics and have done research in cardiovascular biology with published papers, my interest in mental health and wellness is borne from finding ways to deal with my own ailments. I write this blog when I need healing outside of what my therapy regimen provides.
Another way I seek therapy is through social media and in particular roleplaying by writing stories and performing them on social media outlets, such as Twitter. I found this thrilling and exciting for me. It is what "floats my boat" in life. But the themes I examine are that form a mental health nature or injustice. I ought to have know that racism is pervasive and worse on social media due to the perceived anonymity by people who do not know how to interact with diverse people. Moreover, the young people do not know their history, so one must be patient in teaching them that reality by slowly advancing their story with multiple inputs.
Kids do and say anything and when I say kids, I mean those under 25 years old. My favorite roleplaying genre is Science Fiction. My favorite writers is Octavia Butler. As a scientist who is now a business woman, I often wonder who is putting the science in the fiction? Like that of Aldous Huxley and Ray Bradbury? With there being a lag in science education overall and lack of women in science in general, what would be the numbers of African American number in science courses today, then those who choose to write about it in a fictional format?
Then posit that with multiple media inputs, such as novels, comics, graphic novels, animation, movies along with social media where the bulk of young people get 90% of their historical information? What would be the image pervasive about African American Women?
Then I found the answer of this "bamboozled fantasy " in the most likely of places as to why this is happening to us Sistahs out there. An answer in pornography (NSFW NSFW NSFW):
This image sends a message to our young African American women that the ONLY way to any man's heart is be ignorant, subdued and sexually violated...Then like that sexual violation as an appreciation of kindness...
What is worse is many African American womens' ancestors--the Black Women to come before us--were actively sexually violated in this manner. Including my own ancestors...
Many Black women have been sexually abused by either molestation or rape, either in a relationship or not. Add the layer of education with the knowledge of the injustice and racism, involved and have men, some Black, actively berate our existence publicly on social media in blogs or elsewhere through the caricaturization of our images we condone as beautiful...
That we cannot sell ideas unless we placate the masses who buy our products. That we are hypersexualized. That we are only worthy for an exotic sexual adventure...
Well...
What does that do to a Black Woman's mental health state and self-esteem?
We commit suicide...
That is what it does...
No one will protect us. We protect ourselves, by ourselves for ourselves. No one comes to the sanctity of Black Womanhood other than Black Women. And even then, we are attacked by our own...
What can we do since we cannot change this ugliness? Survive? Are we?
NO...And yes...
We can be oblivious and hope that we do not die of breast cancer in an early age because this kind of oppression become suppressed physical ailments.
Or we can fight, but be dehumanized to an element like the Sapphire Caricature...Shunned and shamed as unladylike by even those in our community. Our words unheard. Our thoughts suppressed. Our humanity ignored.
We can also go crazy... Probably where I am as I write this... And that list is in my blog posts.
Lastly we can evolve...
How?
I really do not know, anymore in this day of age of Social Media? But life is ever-changing and everlasting... We can become that which we seek as beautiful. Because these caricatures are a recent historical development. Human history is possibly 200,000 years old. Recorded history is possibly 5000-8000 years old. And modern human beings are thought to derived from Africa. And if African natives were the cradle of civilization, then at some point we LOVED Black women and found them beautiful... They are our mothers, our sisters, our aunts and our grandmothers. They brought life forth into us and continued life even in the midst of all pain... Life goes on... Everlasting to everlasting...
From Beloved by Toni Morrison:
Baby Suggs: And the beat, beat, of your heart... Love it. More than the lungs that need yet to breathe free air. More than the womb, which holds life. More than the private parts that give life. Love your heart. This... this is the prize. Amen. This the prize... Amen!
Baby Suggs: Over yonder, they do not love your flesh. Oh, my people... they do not love your hands. Those, they only use, tie, bind, chop off and leave empty! Love your hands! Raise them up, and kiss them.
Go to 7:27 minutes to understand...
The struggle we fight for is for principalities...But remember LOVE is what carries to triumph over hate and fear. Because really, anyone who subjects a woman based on her beauty is insecure his/herself and fears you.
Remember YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
For me this is a difficult subject - #Mental #Health People of Color #LGBTQI #Cyberbullying #Suicide
Let me be clear: I fully support #LGBTQI young people - and older ones :) and want to end teen suicide in ALL populations. My particular population interest is African Americans, particularly women and the cultural competency in mental health and wellness. Sistah Mental Health and Wellness supports all women... ALL WOMEN! We are seeking to end the mental health disparity among diverse populations and becoming culturally competent.
It is nice for anyone to say to treat people as individuals and for the most part, clinician can and do. I am not a clinician. I am just a strong advocate and sufferer of mental illness who has found my path to improve my mental health and wellness and I just want to share a few of my thoughts to whomever reads this blog.
I am straight. I do not know the pains, trials and tribulations that the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning and Intersex (LGBTQI) people face. I mean NO disrespect and I would love to help as a supporter. But I do know enough about mental illness from my experience as an African American woman to empathize with similar difficulties. And hope that some of what I did to overcome my issues can be adopted and overcame by those who suffer from mental illness in the LGBTQI community.
When I read about Mr. Clementi, I am enraged. I am angry because he did not have to die because he was expressing his love with another man. LOVE = LOVE! It is so hard find love anyway and to restrict someone's happiness in that love is wrong...
Fact is no matter how brief that time of love is, let people--let humanity flourish in it. Let love be! It is NOT ours to judge...It is ours to watch blossom! That is the way of the Spirit of Life on this planet... Let is be!
With that said, as social media explodes and as contact with people globally expand, cyberbullying increases. The way we talk to each other electronically lacks common civility and etiquette. Face to face we will not speak to people like that normally. But, under the veil of an avatar, anything goes. And we as a people think that is humanity! That the behavior is the norm. That it is how we treat one another, that it is compassionate.
Well, it is not!
I grew up under an educator's household. My mother, grandparents and several friends were Teachers, Professors and College Presidents. If anything I learned in the totality of my life is life-long learning, each one, teach one and always community service. I have dedicated most of my adult life to community service and teaching people. But recently, I have learned that SERVICE and common courtesy is gone with the way of people being chivalrous...
I am NOT only talking about men, but women, too! Helping people with hefty loads. Going the extra mile to make sure the entire job is done and complete. As my mother says, "it ain't worth doing if you don't do the whole thing..." Always do your best!
What does this have to do with LGBTQI and mental illness?
LGBTQI have been so ostracized forever that they left the community and created their own communities. Rightfully, so. In the early 1970's the protests in San Fransisco by Mr. Harvey Milk and others improved living conditions for openly gay adults. Over time, there has been evolution in the LGBTQI communities with campus groups, and huge activities expressing one of the most intimate parts of humanity and that is the freedom of sexual expression with whomever one wants.
To be overt about it, some people enjoy wearing wild clothing or lack thereof doing suggestive and aggressive intimate activities that "freak out" the straights. Growing up, I did not see much of that so I was clueless. Recently as an adult, I have gotten a quick course on human sexuality and gender equity. Thank God I am smart because if I was an idiot, my mind would be chewed up by now... I think being smart and being around open minded people helps my compassion for humanity and if anything EVERYONE wants to feel loved and valued.
What I have learned with my strong Christian upbringing and undertones is that for the most part LGBTQI want what everyone else wants: PARITY AND EQUITY!
So what if they want to get married... Good! As my Lesbian friends tell me, they get "toasters"
So what if they want to serve in the military openly... Dammit they already do! And they are doing excellent jobs, so why can they not be open about their sexual preference? Because s/he might kiss someone on the battlefield of the same gender? Come on, that is not their fear when bullets and bombs are flying...
I am sure there are other HUGE issues that I am missing and I do apologize. And my concern is for the young people, mental health and wellness and cultural competency.
Then I read about the Mean Girls of Morehouse College in Vibe Magazine.
Long story short, Morehouse College is an all male Historically Black College and University in Atlanta, Georgia. I graduated from Spelman College, an all women's HBCU that is across the street. My husband graduated from Morehouse College as well as his father. While I was at Spelman College, my mental health condition fulminated and that is when I decided to seek professional mental health care. I was 19 years old.
Most African American young people do not even recognize basic symptoms of mental illness, including suicidal symptoms. Then they do not know who to talk to when they need assistance with the ruminations of their mind. Racing thoughts are very common in people who worried a lot, have anxieties, mania and drug addictions. Without a positive outlet, such as fitness, meditation, cognitive therapy, etc. or combination, the ruminations become ingrained and actually cause erroneous thinking, illogical conclusions, impulsiveness, possibly brain damage all leading to depression.
It is thought in some neuropsychiatric circles that it is once someone arrives to depression, the thoughts of suicide fester. It is combined with rapid cycling of thoughts and the potential to commit or attempt suicide increases.
Most young people have characteristic symptoms of suicide and they express it on social media sites. I know, I have seen it.
For LGBTQI young people, many of whom are already coming from a "racial cultural purview" and oppressive sexual/gender culture, the racing thoughts they are managing as a coping and compensation mechanism are just overcome when that "one more stressor" is added - "The straw that broke the camel's back"... And the self-esteem is so pliable, built on a house of cards collapses.
When Mr. Clementi died, his "coming out" process was incomplete/had not really started and he was beginning to find his sexual freedom of expression. His "straw" was an invasion of privacy by a roommate, then it was posted on a social media site for the world to see. His self-esteem must have been so suppress due to cultural reasons that his whole "house of cards" of his mind outright collapsed and the only erroneous conclusion he could come to was suicide...
I know...that was me, but as a straight Black woman...
I do not think it is necessarily about the sex or having it. I think for me it was pre-existing conditions rife with promiscuity in erroneously believing I could find love externally...
Culturally, in the late 1980's Black women were beginning to be objectified as nothing more than "turds". Useless, shiftless--a growing misogyny against that "Angry Black Woman". I had young men tell me I was beautiful, then when I "gave" them what they wanted, I got dumped. I believed in these men, that love conquered all...like the literary "Mary Sue" trope. That was before I learned a new way to Love and it was NOT from my Christian upbringing - it was from a cultural purview I never thought I would find and that is the Tantra...
My beliefs is sex and sexuality was oppression and suppression...
Tantra's beliefs in sex and sexuality is DIVINITY and EXPANSION! LOVE WHAT IS!
But that was nearly 15 years after I graduated from Spelman College.
About Morehouse College today: most of these young people have NO ONE other than that 90 year old grandmother who LOVES them, if that. Family structure is absence due to POVERTY and INJUSTICE! These kids were born in 1992 - for me that's Rodney King and LA Riots!
This weekend I saw the Atlanta PRIDE parade. And while I saw a range of ages of people, the young people I did see led me to come to the conclusion that these kids were REARED in this culture. So how would they know anything other than what they feel...
Then in SOME people's family, upbringing was abusive. MANY of my gay male friends lament about the physical, and some sexual abuse they have suffered as young people. ABUSE = MENTAL ILLNESS! REPEAT ABUSE = MENTAL ILLNESS!
Lastly, acceptable behaviors - in my house, you back talked, you got hit. Corporal punishment was to keep you in line. You learned not to say it anymore. Is that right? MANY young people these days NEVER have been spanked, much less had any adult discipline them. In most family structures, even LGBTQI one's there is family structure. But young people without that structure are prevalent in the African American community. We are not just talking about single parent homes - we are talking about grandma is the single parent with 4-5 other young people who are either kids or grandkids on a subsistence income... Basically, "Christmas Missed Us..." And that is the best grandma can do...
So when you have poverty and injustice in a dysfunctional family structure with abuse what kind of child will you have attending your college?
A college like Morehouse able to accept and work with all kinds student is not equipped to handle these kinds of young people in these behaviors. It does NOT make it right, but fact is Morehouse needs to come clean on that issue alone. Sure they can do what is clinically acceptable and intention to treat and all the Joint Commission's guidelines. AND these kids, formerly labeled as incorrigible - money has not been given to help Morehouse by the government...
So while we pussyfoot around saying LOVE IS... Reality states that is only in the Caucasian communities...
So while we pussyfoot around saying Marriage Equity... Reality states that if the government had early childhood development for ALL families we would be in a more advanced position. But when our immoral moral police tea bag our freedoms, then we can never advance...
I will be honest: while I can see statistically LGBTQI young people have an increased risk of committing suicide, I think that the social determinants of health are at play here and while Social Health Justice figures in a large role for seeing this increase risk, I also think a solution is bolstering EVERYONE'S community and that is a role for our Federal Government - meaning taxes...
People have not allowed LOVE for one another based on their "Christian" principles with all this deregulation from schools to health care. If we were healthier and more educated - let us hope that these issues become surfeit...
Shout out to The Trevor Project for all the LOVE!
It is nice for anyone to say to treat people as individuals and for the most part, clinician can and do. I am not a clinician. I am just a strong advocate and sufferer of mental illness who has found my path to improve my mental health and wellness and I just want to share a few of my thoughts to whomever reads this blog.
I am straight. I do not know the pains, trials and tribulations that the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning and Intersex (LGBTQI) people face. I mean NO disrespect and I would love to help as a supporter. But I do know enough about mental illness from my experience as an African American woman to empathize with similar difficulties. And hope that some of what I did to overcome my issues can be adopted and overcame by those who suffer from mental illness in the LGBTQI community.
When I read about Mr. Clementi, I am enraged. I am angry because he did not have to die because he was expressing his love with another man. LOVE = LOVE! It is so hard find love anyway and to restrict someone's happiness in that love is wrong...
Fact is no matter how brief that time of love is, let people--let humanity flourish in it. Let love be! It is NOT ours to judge...It is ours to watch blossom! That is the way of the Spirit of Life on this planet... Let is be!
With that said, as social media explodes and as contact with people globally expand, cyberbullying increases. The way we talk to each other electronically lacks common civility and etiquette. Face to face we will not speak to people like that normally. But, under the veil of an avatar, anything goes. And we as a people think that is humanity! That the behavior is the norm. That it is how we treat one another, that it is compassionate.
Well, it is not!
I grew up under an educator's household. My mother, grandparents and several friends were Teachers, Professors and College Presidents. If anything I learned in the totality of my life is life-long learning, each one, teach one and always community service. I have dedicated most of my adult life to community service and teaching people. But recently, I have learned that SERVICE and common courtesy is gone with the way of people being chivalrous...
I am NOT only talking about men, but women, too! Helping people with hefty loads. Going the extra mile to make sure the entire job is done and complete. As my mother says, "it ain't worth doing if you don't do the whole thing..." Always do your best!
What does this have to do with LGBTQI and mental illness?
LGBTQI have been so ostracized forever that they left the community and created their own communities. Rightfully, so. In the early 1970's the protests in San Fransisco by Mr. Harvey Milk and others improved living conditions for openly gay adults. Over time, there has been evolution in the LGBTQI communities with campus groups, and huge activities expressing one of the most intimate parts of humanity and that is the freedom of sexual expression with whomever one wants.
To be overt about it, some people enjoy wearing wild clothing or lack thereof doing suggestive and aggressive intimate activities that "freak out" the straights. Growing up, I did not see much of that so I was clueless. Recently as an adult, I have gotten a quick course on human sexuality and gender equity. Thank God I am smart because if I was an idiot, my mind would be chewed up by now... I think being smart and being around open minded people helps my compassion for humanity and if anything EVERYONE wants to feel loved and valued.
What I have learned with my strong Christian upbringing and undertones is that for the most part LGBTQI want what everyone else wants: PARITY AND EQUITY!
So what if they want to get married... Good! As my Lesbian friends tell me, they get "toasters"
So what if they want to serve in the military openly... Dammit they already do! And they are doing excellent jobs, so why can they not be open about their sexual preference? Because s/he might kiss someone on the battlefield of the same gender? Come on, that is not their fear when bullets and bombs are flying...
I am sure there are other HUGE issues that I am missing and I do apologize. And my concern is for the young people, mental health and wellness and cultural competency.
Then I read about the Mean Girls of Morehouse College in Vibe Magazine.
Long story short, Morehouse College is an all male Historically Black College and University in Atlanta, Georgia. I graduated from Spelman College, an all women's HBCU that is across the street. My husband graduated from Morehouse College as well as his father. While I was at Spelman College, my mental health condition fulminated and that is when I decided to seek professional mental health care. I was 19 years old.
Most African American young people do not even recognize basic symptoms of mental illness, including suicidal symptoms. Then they do not know who to talk to when they need assistance with the ruminations of their mind. Racing thoughts are very common in people who worried a lot, have anxieties, mania and drug addictions. Without a positive outlet, such as fitness, meditation, cognitive therapy, etc. or combination, the ruminations become ingrained and actually cause erroneous thinking, illogical conclusions, impulsiveness, possibly brain damage all leading to depression.
It is thought in some neuropsychiatric circles that it is once someone arrives to depression, the thoughts of suicide fester. It is combined with rapid cycling of thoughts and the potential to commit or attempt suicide increases.
Most young people have characteristic symptoms of suicide and they express it on social media sites. I know, I have seen it.
For LGBTQI young people, many of whom are already coming from a "racial cultural purview" and oppressive sexual/gender culture, the racing thoughts they are managing as a coping and compensation mechanism are just overcome when that "one more stressor" is added - "The straw that broke the camel's back"... And the self-esteem is so pliable, built on a house of cards collapses.
When Mr. Clementi died, his "coming out" process was incomplete/had not really started and he was beginning to find his sexual freedom of expression. His "straw" was an invasion of privacy by a roommate, then it was posted on a social media site for the world to see. His self-esteem must have been so suppress due to cultural reasons that his whole "house of cards" of his mind outright collapsed and the only erroneous conclusion he could come to was suicide...
I know...that was me, but as a straight Black woman...
I do not think it is necessarily about the sex or having it. I think for me it was pre-existing conditions rife with promiscuity in erroneously believing I could find love externally...
Culturally, in the late 1980's Black women were beginning to be objectified as nothing more than "turds". Useless, shiftless--a growing misogyny against that "Angry Black Woman". I had young men tell me I was beautiful, then when I "gave" them what they wanted, I got dumped. I believed in these men, that love conquered all...like the literary "Mary Sue" trope. That was before I learned a new way to Love and it was NOT from my Christian upbringing - it was from a cultural purview I never thought I would find and that is the Tantra...
My beliefs is sex and sexuality was oppression and suppression...
Tantra's beliefs in sex and sexuality is DIVINITY and EXPANSION! LOVE WHAT IS!
But that was nearly 15 years after I graduated from Spelman College.
About Morehouse College today: most of these young people have NO ONE other than that 90 year old grandmother who LOVES them, if that. Family structure is absence due to POVERTY and INJUSTICE! These kids were born in 1992 - for me that's Rodney King and LA Riots!
This weekend I saw the Atlanta PRIDE parade. And while I saw a range of ages of people, the young people I did see led me to come to the conclusion that these kids were REARED in this culture. So how would they know anything other than what they feel...
Then in SOME people's family, upbringing was abusive. MANY of my gay male friends lament about the physical, and some sexual abuse they have suffered as young people. ABUSE = MENTAL ILLNESS! REPEAT ABUSE = MENTAL ILLNESS!
Lastly, acceptable behaviors - in my house, you back talked, you got hit. Corporal punishment was to keep you in line. You learned not to say it anymore. Is that right? MANY young people these days NEVER have been spanked, much less had any adult discipline them. In most family structures, even LGBTQI one's there is family structure. But young people without that structure are prevalent in the African American community. We are not just talking about single parent homes - we are talking about grandma is the single parent with 4-5 other young people who are either kids or grandkids on a subsistence income... Basically, "Christmas Missed Us..." And that is the best grandma can do...
So when you have poverty and injustice in a dysfunctional family structure with abuse what kind of child will you have attending your college?
A college like Morehouse able to accept and work with all kinds student is not equipped to handle these kinds of young people in these behaviors. It does NOT make it right, but fact is Morehouse needs to come clean on that issue alone. Sure they can do what is clinically acceptable and intention to treat and all the Joint Commission's guidelines. AND these kids, formerly labeled as incorrigible - money has not been given to help Morehouse by the government...
So while we pussyfoot around saying LOVE IS... Reality states that is only in the Caucasian communities...
So while we pussyfoot around saying Marriage Equity... Reality states that if the government had early childhood development for ALL families we would be in a more advanced position. But when our immoral moral police tea bag our freedoms, then we can never advance...
I will be honest: while I can see statistically LGBTQI young people have an increased risk of committing suicide, I think that the social determinants of health are at play here and while Social Health Justice figures in a large role for seeing this increase risk, I also think a solution is bolstering EVERYONE'S community and that is a role for our Federal Government - meaning taxes...
People have not allowed LOVE for one another based on their "Christian" principles with all this deregulation from schools to health care. If we were healthier and more educated - let us hope that these issues become surfeit...
Shout out to The Trevor Project for all the LOVE!
Monday, October 4, 2010
My take...#NWNW vs... (#MentalIllness #Tantra #HealthDisparities)
All I care about is mental health and wellness for women, particularly women of color, specifically women of African descent.
I MUST SAY I ADMIRE Ms. Karazin for igniting a firestorm of commentary on the plight of unplanned pregnancies by African American women in the United States. That fortitude to want change and to rally the resources in that manner is excellent. I respect that.
I have concerns, beyond my own anecdotal stories on this subject alone. My biggest concern is that of mental health and wellness before, during and after pregnancy. Some of my greatest clients suffer from post-partum depression. Some are married, some are not. These are the realities of things.
Another action I do admire about No Woman, No Womb is seeing Mrs. Nisa Muhammed's name. Respect for her because I do support Marriage Enrichment courses before, during and after.
But this blog is really not a positioning blog for my business: Sister Mental Health and Wellness, this blog is for me to use self-management and self-care between visits to my mental health providers and avoid mental illness Bipolar Disorder II manic episodes - which may be going on as I write this piece due to my PMS...LOL!
So I know when I blog my crazy episodes, people actually read my posts and respond! In fact when I post them to my Facebook, folks give me plenty of feedback, including my own mother after I get my phone call. Then she invariably sees other people's comments with stories "worse than my own" and she realizes like I did, that I may have just helped someone who has mental health issues be given a voice...
Seriously, the stigma of mental illness is deadly in the African American community. Two weeks ago, I made a presentation in front of a group of young people and their parents about cyberbullying and the kids had NO clue about what to do if anyone posts a suicide threat online.
Only 1-800-273-TALK has the BEST information on dealing with suicide threats online. Metanoia.org has the BEST written content to talk one down from following through with a suicide threat. But I can tell you, cultural competency is lacking in both organization and they know it. Then, we have this STIGMA and if I hear another person say, just pray on it, I will SCREAM!!! Why? Because once a SUICIDE threat is posted anywhere, the person who made the post is not anything but MENTALLY ILL which requires EMERGENCY MEDICAL ATTENTION IMMEDIATELY!!!
ALL SUICIDE THREATS MUST BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY AT ALL TIMES!!!
This is WHAT YOU DO so that you do not say, I WISH THERE WAS SOMETHING I COULD HAVE DONE!!!
What does this have to do with the NWNW backlash I have seen from highly educated African American women?
Self-esteem/efficacy is a part of mental health, specifically behavioral health that falls under two large categories: NATURE and NURTURE aka GENETICS and ENVIRONMENT...
Genetics becomes hardwired roughly 90% of the time. It is very tough to change it. For neuropsychiatric medicine though, scientists are discovering that the human brain is not as hardwired as thought. That an individual's brain genetics shifts as a reflection of learning in an environment under evolution...
Behavioral genetics is the driving force to understanding and developing treatments and therapies for mental illnesses, such as depression, bipolar, schizophrenia, autism, etc.
Environment in this context = residential background, region, family involvement, sociability, etc. These actions are taught. A child LEARNS how to respond to life's stimuli no matter the stressors. How the child is taught is only ONE aspect to understanding mental illness. And in the African American community, we will have to discuss the Social Determinants of Health and Health Disparities. If we are discussing these concepts, then we are discussing Social Injustice...
Mental Illness is exacerbated when the stress of social injustice complicates optimal and efficacious treatment. What is the point in prescribing the latest and expensive Anti-Psychotic when the insurance will not pay for it, no Urban pharmacy carries it and the patient sees no need to "adhere" to the regimen? Do you still implement the "intention to treat" as outlined in the medical oath? Or just wait until they show up at the ER waiting for a psych nurse to give the approval eval at 3 AM? I will tell you it is the latter for MOST people of color who threaten suicide... Or the police have already killed them...
/END ACADEMIC RANT
My anecdotal story: FOR or AGAINST NWNW... I will not decide... In fact, I will place this poll and let you decide after reading my blog. But here is my anecdotal story:
STATS:
So I am the outlier...
When I was ~24 years old, I fell in love with a professional athlete. He was the moon and the stars. I met him at a party and we had excellent conversation and I gave him my number. In boy time you know what that means, he called me and left a message. My 20-something self just KNEW we could become an item! :D IT WAS FUN! Me just getting accepting into a PhD program and HIM playing for a pro team! What could be better?
Then, his true self came out. Either I actively overlooked it after friends told me to stop, but he was verbally abusive to me. He treated me like I was worthless. Let's make that more accurate, I let him treat me like was worthless. The FACT IS we did NOT have a relationship agreement - i.e. ACQUAINTANCES vs DATING! I was his acquaintance, NEVER his date...
The long conversations we had were arguments on me trying to prove why I was good enough for him--OR SO I THOUGHT! Let's not go into me spending my money to make him happy...Yeah...EXACTLY!
[side note] To this day, it is still painful I went through this ordeal. Some of my closest friends know about this situation and how it is bad. But it helps my healing from the damage I incurred allowing that monster into my life. Yeah, eyes welling up. [/side note]
He would call himself having parties and invite the kind of women that his boys wanted to be hooked up with. Some being his family members. I was invited, but I was smart enough to bring friends who could tell when it was time to go. Of course there was alcohol, which he drank a lot of and I ignored that.
Then one day he started inviting me when the ladies in his family visited. I would come and they liked speaking to me. I thought they liked me. I thought I was "it"... Then the trash would come in. I am not one to fight over a guy, but this "boy" was into pitting women to feed his ego in hindsight...
Then, when I met the new "flavor du jour", I was to be pitted against, she was old, sickly, looked like an OLD Cruella DeVil or Natasha. Well in his line of work, allegedly, they teach the athletes about these kinds of women in a seminar. It means he was not listening... The time was ~3 years of knowing him, trying to be a good friend in spite of it all, longevity, and he stops speaking to me one summer. I was clueless all along or delusional...
[For those who have an idea what happened next do not speak...LOL!]
Then I got a surprise call of him inviting me to one of his games. I was so enthusiastic, jumping for joy that I rushed over to his house to go with his male "cousins" to the game, then Cruella was there...
9 months pregnant...
That is how I found out where babies come from in psychotic situations such as these /sarcasm.
Here is what happened to me:
Rush calculations, back tracking to conception dates, doubting how that was possible!
Sorting through my mind all the things were said
Realization of what happened and how I let someone treat me that way
Worrying my folks about my surivival
I cried... Did I cry! Even now...I cry!
HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO STUPID! SO IGNORANT! SO DELUSIONAL! SO UGLY? WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME? WASN'T I PRETTY ENOUGH? SMART ENOUGH? GOOD ENOUGH? WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME? WHAT DID I DO WRONG?
My friend keep telling me: Just one less person to think about a Christmastime...
For six months... And I was so oblivious, NEVER did the guy and I discuss any relationship situation seriously other than, "FINE, then FINE"... I thought we were just angry with each other and we could work it out. NEVER DAWNED ON ME that that was my EXIT... That was my CUE...
Yeah, I can bash myself with EVER expletive possible... Then after a year of that pain, the ONE STRIKE LAW WENT INTO EFFECT!
Men:
There were more. I cannot think of them all.
[side note:]Oh did I say my husband does not have kids... He is an African American professional man with a DVM, who WAS single without any kids and never got a woman pregnant...Graduated from Morehouse College...[/side note]
I finally got to the point in my life at that time that if I want to ruin my life, I do not need anybody's help, I can do that well enough alone...
And dammit after working so hard in graduate school to become a research scientist (LOL!) I deserve someone commensurate to who and what I am with similar family values and background -- or at least a man who respects that about me. If he cannot, then X ONE STRIKE LAW!
How long was I single after that? ~10 years. Did I want to go and mess up my life like all my friends were doing by "getting married in reverse" - have the baby, trap the man? Yes. Did it happen for me? No. Why not?
I did not care for any of the men enough to want to carry their seed for 9 months.
Then I learned the TANTRA!!!
The Art of Conscious Loving...
Not about loving yourself...More about how to express the love of yourself as a your gift to your partner - the sharing of Anhat... The mindfulness of Ajna... The mantras... The settings... The Feng Shui of a romantic encounter.
I HEALED USING TANTRA...
That when I expressed myself in relationships, it was my gift to honor them. If they did not return, I know that at least I gave them that blessing that they needed at the time and I was blessed to have experienced them.
That was when I let go, so that I could allow true love to come in with my true mate.
It takes patience. It does not happen overnight. Good relationships are TOUGH to build, especially when there is no outline, not a very good instruction manual or archaic one, too academically rigorous, etc. And to be honest, that crazy relationship I was in with the pro athlete, I was to lazy to face facts of letting go... So the Spirit made me let go... I am better for it.
So... Now what?
I MUST SAY I ADMIRE Ms. Karazin for igniting a firestorm of commentary on the plight of unplanned pregnancies by African American women in the United States. That fortitude to want change and to rally the resources in that manner is excellent. I respect that.
I have concerns, beyond my own anecdotal stories on this subject alone. My biggest concern is that of mental health and wellness before, during and after pregnancy. Some of my greatest clients suffer from post-partum depression. Some are married, some are not. These are the realities of things.
Another action I do admire about No Woman, No Womb is seeing Mrs. Nisa Muhammed's name. Respect for her because I do support Marriage Enrichment courses before, during and after.
But this blog is really not a positioning blog for my business: Sister Mental Health and Wellness, this blog is for me to use self-management and self-care between visits to my mental health providers and avoid mental illness Bipolar Disorder II manic episodes - which may be going on as I write this piece due to my PMS...LOL!
So I know when I blog my crazy episodes, people actually read my posts and respond! In fact when I post them to my Facebook, folks give me plenty of feedback, including my own mother after I get my phone call. Then she invariably sees other people's comments with stories "worse than my own" and she realizes like I did, that I may have just helped someone who has mental health issues be given a voice...
Because the problem with having a mental health condition and managing everything involved is losing one's voice...
Seriously, the stigma of mental illness is deadly in the African American community. Two weeks ago, I made a presentation in front of a group of young people and their parents about cyberbullying and the kids had NO clue about what to do if anyone posts a suicide threat online.
Only 1-800-273-TALK has the BEST information on dealing with suicide threats online. Metanoia.org has the BEST written content to talk one down from following through with a suicide threat. But I can tell you, cultural competency is lacking in both organization and they know it. Then, we have this STIGMA and if I hear another person say, just pray on it, I will SCREAM!!! Why? Because once a SUICIDE threat is posted anywhere, the person who made the post is not anything but MENTALLY ILL which requires EMERGENCY MEDICAL ATTENTION IMMEDIATELY!!!
ALL SUICIDE THREATS MUST BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY AT ALL TIMES!!!
This is WHAT YOU DO so that you do not say, I WISH THERE WAS SOMETHING I COULD HAVE DONE!!!
What does this have to do with the NWNW backlash I have seen from highly educated African American women?
Self-esteem/efficacy is a part of mental health, specifically behavioral health that falls under two large categories: NATURE and NURTURE aka GENETICS and ENVIRONMENT...
Genetics becomes hardwired roughly 90% of the time. It is very tough to change it. For neuropsychiatric medicine though, scientists are discovering that the human brain is not as hardwired as thought. That an individual's brain genetics shifts as a reflection of learning in an environment under evolution...
Behavioral genetics is the driving force to understanding and developing treatments and therapies for mental illnesses, such as depression, bipolar, schizophrenia, autism, etc.
Environment in this context = residential background, region, family involvement, sociability, etc. These actions are taught. A child LEARNS how to respond to life's stimuli no matter the stressors. How the child is taught is only ONE aspect to understanding mental illness. And in the African American community, we will have to discuss the Social Determinants of Health and Health Disparities. If we are discussing these concepts, then we are discussing Social Injustice...
Mental Illness is exacerbated when the stress of social injustice complicates optimal and efficacious treatment. What is the point in prescribing the latest and expensive Anti-Psychotic when the insurance will not pay for it, no Urban pharmacy carries it and the patient sees no need to "adhere" to the regimen? Do you still implement the "intention to treat" as outlined in the medical oath? Or just wait until they show up at the ER waiting for a psych nurse to give the approval eval at 3 AM? I will tell you it is the latter for MOST people of color who threaten suicide... Or the police have already killed them...
/END ACADEMIC RANT
My anecdotal story: FOR or AGAINST NWNW... I will not decide... In fact, I will place this poll and let you decide after reading my blog. But here is my anecdotal story:
STATS:
- I am 42 years old, a Black Woman and married for 7 years to a wonderful man who I love dearly.
- I have never been pregnant
- I hold a doctorate in Molecular Genetics - most folks who read this know this, this is for the newbies.
- I have bipolar disorder that I seek medical treatment for and I effectively self-manage it according to my mental health providers' (yes with an "s") care.
So I am the outlier...
When I was ~24 years old, I fell in love with a professional athlete. He was the moon and the stars. I met him at a party and we had excellent conversation and I gave him my number. In boy time you know what that means, he called me and left a message. My 20-something self just KNEW we could become an item! :D IT WAS FUN! Me just getting accepting into a PhD program and HIM playing for a pro team! What could be better?
Then, his true self came out. Either I actively overlooked it after friends told me to stop, but he was verbally abusive to me. He treated me like I was worthless. Let's make that more accurate, I let him treat me like was worthless. The FACT IS we did NOT have a relationship agreement - i.e. ACQUAINTANCES vs DATING! I was his acquaintance, NEVER his date...
The long conversations we had were arguments on me trying to prove why I was good enough for him--OR SO I THOUGHT! Let's not go into me spending my money to make him happy...Yeah...EXACTLY!
[side note] To this day, it is still painful I went through this ordeal. Some of my closest friends know about this situation and how it is bad. But it helps my healing from the damage I incurred allowing that monster into my life. Yeah, eyes welling up. [/side note]
He would call himself having parties and invite the kind of women that his boys wanted to be hooked up with. Some being his family members. I was invited, but I was smart enough to bring friends who could tell when it was time to go. Of course there was alcohol, which he drank a lot of and I ignored that.
Then one day he started inviting me when the ladies in his family visited. I would come and they liked speaking to me. I thought they liked me. I thought I was "it"... Then the trash would come in. I am not one to fight over a guy, but this "boy" was into pitting women to feed his ego in hindsight...
Then, when I met the new "flavor du jour", I was to be pitted against, she was old, sickly, looked like an OLD Cruella DeVil or Natasha. Well in his line of work, allegedly, they teach the athletes about these kinds of women in a seminar. It means he was not listening... The time was ~3 years of knowing him, trying to be a good friend in spite of it all, longevity, and he stops speaking to me one summer. I was clueless all along or delusional...
[For those who have an idea what happened next do not speak...LOL!]
Then I got a surprise call of him inviting me to one of his games. I was so enthusiastic, jumping for joy that I rushed over to his house to go with his male "cousins" to the game, then Cruella was there...
9 months pregnant...
That is how I found out where babies come from in psychotic situations such as these /sarcasm.
Here is what happened to me:
Rush calculations, back tracking to conception dates, doubting how that was possible!
Sorting through my mind all the things were said
Realization of what happened and how I let someone treat me that way
Worrying my folks about my surivival
I cried... Did I cry! Even now...I cry!
HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO STUPID! SO IGNORANT! SO DELUSIONAL! SO UGLY? WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME? WASN'T I PRETTY ENOUGH? SMART ENOUGH? GOOD ENOUGH? WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME? WHAT DID I DO WRONG?
My friend keep telling me: Just one less person to think about a Christmastime...
For six months... And I was so oblivious, NEVER did the guy and I discuss any relationship situation seriously other than, "FINE, then FINE"... I thought we were just angry with each other and we could work it out. NEVER DAWNED ON ME that that was my EXIT... That was my CUE...
Yeah, I can bash myself with EVER expletive possible... Then after a year of that pain, the ONE STRIKE LAW WENT INTO EFFECT!
Men:
- Cannot have kids under the age of 12...
- MUST be DIVORCED from wife for 5 years
- MUST HAVE AN EDUCATION!!!
- MUST ONLY HAVE ONE CHILD!!!
There were more. I cannot think of them all.
[side note:]Oh did I say my husband does not have kids... He is an African American professional man with a DVM, who WAS single without any kids and never got a woman pregnant...Graduated from Morehouse College...[/side note]
I finally got to the point in my life at that time that if I want to ruin my life, I do not need anybody's help, I can do that well enough alone...
And dammit after working so hard in graduate school to become a research scientist (LOL!) I deserve someone commensurate to who and what I am with similar family values and background -- or at least a man who respects that about me. If he cannot, then X ONE STRIKE LAW!
How long was I single after that? ~10 years. Did I want to go and mess up my life like all my friends were doing by "getting married in reverse" - have the baby, trap the man? Yes. Did it happen for me? No. Why not?
I did not care for any of the men enough to want to carry their seed for 9 months.
Then I learned the TANTRA!!!
The Art of Conscious Loving...
Not about loving yourself...More about how to express the love of yourself as a your gift to your partner - the sharing of Anhat... The mindfulness of Ajna... The mantras... The settings... The Feng Shui of a romantic encounter.
I HEALED USING TANTRA...
That when I expressed myself in relationships, it was my gift to honor them. If they did not return, I know that at least I gave them that blessing that they needed at the time and I was blessed to have experienced them.
That was when I let go, so that I could allow true love to come in with my true mate.
It takes patience. It does not happen overnight. Good relationships are TOUGH to build, especially when there is no outline, not a very good instruction manual or archaic one, too academically rigorous, etc. And to be honest, that crazy relationship I was in with the pro athlete, I was to lazy to face facts of letting go... So the Spirit made me let go... I am better for it.
So... Now what?
PSEUDO SCIENCE KILLS BLACK WOMEN and Logic Fallacies
Since my business is in Mental Health and Wellness in women of African descent using social media, I am constantly receiving and reviewing the latest news on improving their lives and the legitimate claims for best practices. I want to improve cultural competencies, end the disparities in mental health with effective self-management and coaching through by websites: The Ari | af | ya Universe, Sistah Mental Health and Wellness and Get Your Mind Right Health and Wellness Coaching. I was sent this information about Black Women and Dating. I was SHOCKED because lies like these spread like wild fire, especially when they are passed off a science also called pseudo science!Being a fully trained research scientist with a Ph.D. in molecular genetics and have worked at three medical schools, my investigation of the scientific claims of the original article: “How Your Race Affects The Messages You Get” by OkCupid http://okcupid.com/z/2v states:
“Black Women are the most ignore group on dating websites”
After scientifically evaluating this claim, I have come to the conclusion that any legitimate business presenting an article claiming a scientific fact showing “correlation matrices" to make their claims and uses profane language is NOT scientific. That goes to say to ALL Black Women:
TAKE THIS STUDY WITH A GRAIN LESS THAN SALT!!! PSEUDO SCIENCE IS UNETHICAL!!!
My business, the Isle Sanctuary Artistic Division, these days is Roleplaying (RP) where my group performs stories using social media from a diverse woman’s point of view. My business writes our stories to reflect the diversity of experiences of women of African descent in science fiction. Then, I see my African American female friends lament and fight over two ideas: No Wedding No Womb vs Sexual Injustice. I see several single Black Women heartbroken because they want to give up on meaningful companionship including sexual expression. Then I hear their cries about the real life dating scene, and as a woman who dedicated her life to science, devoid of any real social life until I had a huge a medical emergency, reading heinous blogs such as this: http://okcupid.com/z/2v
PERPETUATES STEREOTYPES BUILT ON DISTORTIONS AND DECIMATES BLACK WOMENS' SELF ESTEEMS IN AN ALREADY RACIAL-SOCIAL-IMAGERY-SEXUALLY OPPRESSED SOCIETY!!!
At this point, Black Women self esteem are tortured and that is when they visit my site. They may have already written their suicide note because they are being bombarded with heinous comments that say BLACK WOMEN ARE WORTHLESS!!! Many people have no idea that MILLIONS of Black Women present SERIOUS CLINICAL cases of depression because of ABUSE!!!
Lack of a desired relationship is not due to Black Womens' self-insufficiency or poor choices – it is because of psychosocial health injustice! If a black woman is not taught how to be self-confidence in a productive environment causing them to suffer and having a poor living while growing up, devoid of any health services or food options, then telling Black Women, “buck up” or else be “undateble” and here is the statistical proof is perpetuating a gross distortion and groupthink, which has no place in science.
So let us change that game... Since, most of my roleplaying involves the Star Wars Expanded Universe, Mr. George Lucas would AGREE with my assertions by his dating life, because HE LIVES IT and her name is Ms. Mellody Hobson! There have been rumors and lies that have been said about me and my claims, I am fine with it. But discount my abilities is foolish. My rant is about LIES from a BUSINESSES CALLING THEMSELVES A LEGITIMATE SCIENTIFIC ENTERPRISE! If I get backlash for this blog, fine! I will be happy to present my evidence to the National Academies of Science about posting false advertisements with all the Social Media resources I can.
What are the failings of the study? What is the significance of the correlation? What are their P-values in a type 2 error? Obviously there is not enough power to make the claims they make with the correlation matrices they have. Even if they did a Pearson's Correlation Coefficient or a Mann Whitney Test or a simple Student's t-test...Fine! I might dislike the result, but it is valid we can dispute the collection of the data, but gross distortions with only averages, how is that called science? Where are the correlations? Were participants’ educational and economic levels considered and used? What metric did they use to make that decision without introducing bias? What is called “dateability” here? Does that mean getting replies in an inbox? What were the regional differences? Was their consent that their information would be completion would be shared? What about the users that could be lying? Was that information taken into account? Moreover, what about precedence? This company’s findings is not the first ever study on reply backs on dating sites...What background research is there? What are the legitimate ways to reply?
Aside with the myriads of scientific questions, when two other prominent websites broadcasting a WEAK study that uses profanity to pass off as legitimate science and no one questions it, there is a problem here, especially in American Scientific studies.
I did NOT spend a LARGE PORTION OF MY ADULT LIFE IN SCIENCE to have some idiot say that Black Women are “undateble” by STATISTICS on a blog that uses profanity… I have WAY too much education for an idiot representing a dating website company passing off false science. I would have to question its business practices! These are peoples’ most intimate lives here! Saying Black Women do not get replies, is like saying Black Women give up have a companion, or love. If that logic were true, then many of my forebears and me would not be married.
How to rectify this gross injustice: ANY UNIVERSITY and their writing department will HELP "doctor" this article... Publish it in a Psychological Social Media Sciences journal than passing it off as science blog, which is bogus! If the article cannot be in Science, then it lacks merit... Present this article publicly to legitimate African American womens' publications and community organizations. Lastly, have ALL proceeds go to improve the lives of African American teenage girl community programs
OTHERWISE, IF NOT DONE, THEN IT IS JUST LIKE THE TUSKEGEE SYPHILIS EXPERIMENT IN MY EYES!!! DO NOT REMEDY THIS DISTORTION AND YOUR BLOG IS NOTHING MORE THAN NAZI PROPAGANDA MIXED WITH ENSLAVEMENT PROMOTION!
Disagree with me and harm me for defamation? I do not care, because I know I am right on this topic... I have TRAINED for this kind of blathering idiocy and I know this study is BOGUS!
This study: http://okcupid.com/z/2v is a “CORRELATIONS DOES NOT IMPLY CAUSATION” logic fallacy.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
I use to draw, but now I write...
I use to draw for a long time, but after I gave in to the Dark Side of the Force in Science that left me hopeless, I write. I am a research molecular geneticist and scientist. Google me and you will find 5 of my research papers dealing with cardiovascular disease, aging and diabetes. Doubt me...well that is your choice...
Anyhow I support women, particularly women of color, specifically women of African descent to find their voice. When women have been dominated and abused in this society, it is very hard for a woman to find her voice without being viewed as that "Angry Black Woman" stereotypical misogyny. Sure, a woman can be harsh to a man and people get hurt, but once that hand is raised and strikes or a woman is sexually violated, it crushes her ability to know how to fight back. Rape kills a woman's spirit. I should know...
Everything is questioned: Your values, your morals, your beliefs your reality and understandings. Being mired in pain, only to be manipulated by others, sometimes other women. Because domination is all you understand.
Drawing helped me, as well as other several art forms: painting, dancing and sometimes writing.
Then I decided to become a scientist. I never thought becoming would sacrifice myself to the alter of self-doubt, self-hate and low self-esteem... I was a pretty good scientist, but I refused to tortured by men who were misogynists and plainly ignorant, socially.
Recently, due to the piss poor economy, I have been out of work, yet my creative side has come back. Slowly, I draw, eventually I paint...And my dance has changed to martial arts where I have become self-confident! And I write on social media! Interesting blogs, developing characters, roleplaying, etc.
What can I say, I am human, I am a woman, I am an African American woman--not Black because my skin color is not the color "black" like "tar" and I respect those ancestors of my who were kidnapped from the diaspora or MAAFA hundreds of years ago and beaten within an inch of their lives, yet they survived... Let us be honest about the reality of that than watering it down to make it digestible--because it is not!
I have seen more woman oppression online than I have ever imagined and I have been accused of hurting people who invade where I come from and the reality of my experiences. By some women who have been "pedestalized", but mostly men, who are mentally deranged, sycophantic, and narcissists. I have also seen a lot of weak men, who you think are your friends, but when attacked do nothing to defend you unless you come with undeniable proof.
The thing that gets me are the lies and rumors of me... But then I look at this younger generation and they were reared with Jerry Springer with the unmedicated throwing shoes at people, being goaded to fight with the ring of the bell. Is that responsible socially? Well see, the business that I am in, the control of the message must be rapid in Customer Relations Management. Protocols need to be in place when the rumor mills run. Besides the fact we eat this junk social food, our mental bodies and spirits cannot be nourished by it, and it is not sustainable. Eventually we will fall into mental-social failure...
Is there medical evidence? Possibly. What I like about writing fiction, specifically science fiction, is that I do not have to provide the actual scientific paper evidence, except for a few links. Do I write for my audience and give them what they want, junk mental-social food? Or do I elevate their minds, grounded in math-physics-chemistry-biology so that when they are ready, they can seek to find their own answers? As a former college instructor and lecturer, I prefer the latter. But in business...If I want to make money--tell people what they want to hear. It is sad. As a scientist in transition back to artistry, losing my creativity can make me sick, but the mania overcoming the slamming incurred, well...At least I do know mindfulness...
Anyhow I support women, particularly women of color, specifically women of African descent to find their voice. When women have been dominated and abused in this society, it is very hard for a woman to find her voice without being viewed as that "Angry Black Woman" stereotypical misogyny. Sure, a woman can be harsh to a man and people get hurt, but once that hand is raised and strikes or a woman is sexually violated, it crushes her ability to know how to fight back. Rape kills a woman's spirit. I should know...
Everything is questioned: Your values, your morals, your beliefs your reality and understandings. Being mired in pain, only to be manipulated by others, sometimes other women. Because domination is all you understand.
Drawing helped me, as well as other several art forms: painting, dancing and sometimes writing.
Then I decided to become a scientist. I never thought becoming would sacrifice myself to the alter of self-doubt, self-hate and low self-esteem... I was a pretty good scientist, but I refused to tortured by men who were misogynists and plainly ignorant, socially.
Recently, due to the piss poor economy, I have been out of work, yet my creative side has come back. Slowly, I draw, eventually I paint...And my dance has changed to martial arts where I have become self-confident! And I write on social media! Interesting blogs, developing characters, roleplaying, etc.
What can I say, I am human, I am a woman, I am an African American woman--not Black because my skin color is not the color "black" like "tar" and I respect those ancestors of my who were kidnapped from the diaspora or MAAFA hundreds of years ago and beaten within an inch of their lives, yet they survived... Let us be honest about the reality of that than watering it down to make it digestible--because it is not!
I have seen more woman oppression online than I have ever imagined and I have been accused of hurting people who invade where I come from and the reality of my experiences. By some women who have been "pedestalized", but mostly men, who are mentally deranged, sycophantic, and narcissists. I have also seen a lot of weak men, who you think are your friends, but when attacked do nothing to defend you unless you come with undeniable proof.
The thing that gets me are the lies and rumors of me... But then I look at this younger generation and they were reared with Jerry Springer with the unmedicated throwing shoes at people, being goaded to fight with the ring of the bell. Is that responsible socially? Well see, the business that I am in, the control of the message must be rapid in Customer Relations Management. Protocols need to be in place when the rumor mills run. Besides the fact we eat this junk social food, our mental bodies and spirits cannot be nourished by it, and it is not sustainable. Eventually we will fall into mental-social failure...
Is there medical evidence? Possibly. What I like about writing fiction, specifically science fiction, is that I do not have to provide the actual scientific paper evidence, except for a few links. Do I write for my audience and give them what they want, junk mental-social food? Or do I elevate their minds, grounded in math-physics-chemistry-biology so that when they are ready, they can seek to find their own answers? As a former college instructor and lecturer, I prefer the latter. But in business...If I want to make money--tell people what they want to hear. It is sad. As a scientist in transition back to artistry, losing my creativity can make me sick, but the mania overcoming the slamming incurred, well...At least I do know mindfulness...
Monday, August 30, 2010
We've lost our mojo - Fight the powers that be!!! WAKE UP KNEEGROWS!!!
I was watching this video:
And I was reminding my first experience with having to fight for African American rights at Spelman College in 1987...The second semester of my Freshman year...I started in the Fall, 1986.
It was my indoctrination into what my ancestors fought and died for...Under "Civil Right's Incidents"
I was THERE in January 24, 1987... One of the 20,000. One in the 500 busloads of protesters. It was my first time EVER seeing the Klan in full regalia and a dividing line of United States Guardsmen requested by the Governor and sent by President Reagan. What my mother got water cannoned for. What my father got arrested for just integrating a lunch counter. Reverend Hosea Williams was one of the major civil rights activists that traveled with Dr. Martin Luther King.
This blog is my recollection of those days...
I was nothing but an impressionable 18 year old "girl". I had just gotten back from my holiday return home speaking of the wonderful words of Spelman on my first semester. I was enthralled of the new things I was learning, I hated a few of my professors, but nothing out of the ordinary. My grandfather, Dr. Richard V. Moore was alive! I knew I could do anything!
Then I watched Television when I first saw it...The following is only a quote of what happened:
There was only 10-15 protesters who were literally ran away. The entire school ran to the television to see it. I was put on what was now called CNN seen across the nation. As kids we were only told what happened. Surely things are better and more equal these days! RIGHT???
I was wrong...
I never thought to call my parents. There was no such thing as cell phones or the ones they had used wagons to cart. So I could not call my folks about going. All I knew was to fight for my people. I wanted to make a difference. And remember this type was BC = before computers. So no email. There was chat or Commodore 64 type chat...
I joined 4-5 people, 2 of which I remains friends with today. It was cold. Fortunately I was bundled. Failed to eat and coffee was not our thing. There was no food. Barely had money.
We rode the bus up to North to Forsyth county, who at the time ran Black people out in 1912 and no other Black person lived there, since! The reason why in 1986-1987 Black people were trying to live there was their jobs relocated them there. The land was plentiful and inexpensive and developers desired the land. Remember this was the same time the Black Farmers were going through their trials with Ms. Sherrod... I found out that information as I got older.
Along the way, bigoted racist Caucasian men flipped us off. They were your typical bigots: huge rusty truck with a gun rack missing teeth, some with the Confederate Battle Flag. What made it partially amusing was somehow this homeless bum got on and kept yelling out, "Hey that dude threw a bird!"
Then we got to the "small town" of Forsyth, Georgia and the only fast food place was "Kentucky Fried Chicken". We were so hungry, we had to eat--just one biscuit. Then this "prophesier Black man" started saying to all who listened, "Don't support those who oppress you. You buy from them, they will use it to oppress you."
We looked at one another and we decided not to eat. Peer pressure! Back then the foibles of teenagers was unknown by our families and friends. So we starved.
Then we walked to the center of town to wait to hear several top speakers: Reverend Hosea Williams, Reverend Ralph Abernathy, Reverend Jesse Jackson, etc.
What I remember seeing:
The line of US National Guardsmen...Khaki green in boots, helmets, riot gear.
Helicopters roaming around to suppress any fights.
News vans seeing if anything were to jump off.
Then 20 of the Klan in white robes. One really piggly red guy calling forth to ride off and take over.
Several people carrying signs. A few Republicans carrying signs against racism. I remember looking at another guy who said to me, "sounds like an oxymoron to me!"
We kept moving because we were cold, hungry and tired. Then the Klan started their large trucks motors whirring, yelling, "You would not be as strong without the National Guard!" And then the Helicopter lowered to suppress their actions. The helicopter looked white with yellow stripes. It felt like I could touch it in the sky.
I really did not hear any of the speeches. It seemed like the same rhetoric spoken all the time by our so-called kneegrow leaders--stop hating, be good and do not fight each other because we are brothers and sisters in God and the Universe.
We returned home, ran to get food from our cafeteria and then plopped down on the bed. I do not remember much what happened afterward. I got bits and pieces. But I felt a kinship with my parents because I had a taste of what they suffered. Moreover, I think this event started my hard core reason to fight. To prove to people that I was good enough, a better person and that I can compete at similar levels.
Now looking back, looking at my life in totality so close to my birthday, I wonder the "what ifs". If I had spoken to my parents before the event, I probably would have been talked out in going. I would have wanted to be a part of changing for the better part of history... If I had eaten, I would have been able to focus on the speeches and desire to develop this "civil rights fight" I believed in and community organizer!
It reminded me of how I supported Dr. Julian Bond's congressional campaign my first semester, Freshman year. I was even able to speak to him briefly, until someone on his campaign told me to leave that I was some "dumb little girl". I missed my hometown at that time, but my mental health issue had not totally kicked in yet.
I think as I look back is young people have no clue of how far we have come and what it took to get there. How respectful are they to their elders? I think some are. Many are not. Since, I do not have children, I would not begin to understand how to communicate with a child other than my brother's children, nephew and niece.
There is one thing I know is "LOVE"...I have learned to love myself more during this trying times. And I know I am love per the reminder of this song:
Don't give up...
And I was reminding my first experience with having to fight for African American rights at Spelman College in 1987...The second semester of my Freshman year...I started in the Fall, 1986.
It was my indoctrination into what my ancestors fought and died for...Under "Civil Right's Incidents"
I was THERE in January 24, 1987... One of the 20,000. One in the 500 busloads of protesters. It was my first time EVER seeing the Klan in full regalia and a dividing line of United States Guardsmen requested by the Governor and sent by President Reagan. What my mother got water cannoned for. What my father got arrested for just integrating a lunch counter. Reverend Hosea Williams was one of the major civil rights activists that traveled with Dr. Martin Luther King.
This blog is my recollection of those days...
I was nothing but an impressionable 18 year old "girl". I had just gotten back from my holiday return home speaking of the wonderful words of Spelman on my first semester. I was enthralled of the new things I was learning, I hated a few of my professors, but nothing out of the ordinary. My grandfather, Dr. Richard V. Moore was alive! I knew I could do anything!
Then I watched Television when I first saw it...The following is only a quote of what happened:
In 1987 he led another nationally-covered march, this one consisting of 75 people in Forsyth County, Georgia, which at the time (before becoming a major exurb of northern metro Atlanta) had no non-white residents. He and the others were assaulted with stones and other objects by the KKK and other white supremacists.
There was only 10-15 protesters who were literally ran away. The entire school ran to the television to see it. I was put on what was now called CNN seen across the nation. As kids we were only told what happened. Surely things are better and more equal these days! RIGHT???I was wrong...
I never thought to call my parents. There was no such thing as cell phones or the ones they had used wagons to cart. So I could not call my folks about going. All I knew was to fight for my people. I wanted to make a difference. And remember this type was BC = before computers. So no email. There was chat or Commodore 64 type chat...
I joined 4-5 people, 2 of which I remains friends with today. It was cold. Fortunately I was bundled. Failed to eat and coffee was not our thing. There was no food. Barely had money.
We rode the bus up to North to Forsyth county, who at the time ran Black people out in 1912 and no other Black person lived there, since! The reason why in 1986-1987 Black people were trying to live there was their jobs relocated them there. The land was plentiful and inexpensive and developers desired the land. Remember this was the same time the Black Farmers were going through their trials with Ms. Sherrod... I found out that information as I got older.
Along the way, bigoted racist Caucasian men flipped us off. They were your typical bigots: huge rusty truck with a gun rack missing teeth, some with the Confederate Battle Flag. What made it partially amusing was somehow this homeless bum got on and kept yelling out, "Hey that dude threw a bird!"
Then we got to the "small town" of Forsyth, Georgia and the only fast food place was "Kentucky Fried Chicken". We were so hungry, we had to eat--just one biscuit. Then this "prophesier Black man" started saying to all who listened, "Don't support those who oppress you. You buy from them, they will use it to oppress you."
We looked at one another and we decided not to eat. Peer pressure! Back then the foibles of teenagers was unknown by our families and friends. So we starved.
Then we walked to the center of town to wait to hear several top speakers: Reverend Hosea Williams, Reverend Ralph Abernathy, Reverend Jesse Jackson, etc.
What I remember seeing:
The line of US National Guardsmen...Khaki green in boots, helmets, riot gear.
Helicopters roaming around to suppress any fights.
News vans seeing if anything were to jump off.
Then 20 of the Klan in white robes. One really piggly red guy calling forth to ride off and take over.
Several people carrying signs. A few Republicans carrying signs against racism. I remember looking at another guy who said to me, "sounds like an oxymoron to me!"
We kept moving because we were cold, hungry and tired. Then the Klan started their large trucks motors whirring, yelling, "You would not be as strong without the National Guard!" And then the Helicopter lowered to suppress their actions. The helicopter looked white with yellow stripes. It felt like I could touch it in the sky.
I really did not hear any of the speeches. It seemed like the same rhetoric spoken all the time by our so-called kneegrow leaders--stop hating, be good and do not fight each other because we are brothers and sisters in God and the Universe.
We returned home, ran to get food from our cafeteria and then plopped down on the bed. I do not remember much what happened afterward. I got bits and pieces. But I felt a kinship with my parents because I had a taste of what they suffered. Moreover, I think this event started my hard core reason to fight. To prove to people that I was good enough, a better person and that I can compete at similar levels.
Now looking back, looking at my life in totality so close to my birthday, I wonder the "what ifs". If I had spoken to my parents before the event, I probably would have been talked out in going. I would have wanted to be a part of changing for the better part of history... If I had eaten, I would have been able to focus on the speeches and desire to develop this "civil rights fight" I believed in and community organizer!
It reminded me of how I supported Dr. Julian Bond's congressional campaign my first semester, Freshman year. I was even able to speak to him briefly, until someone on his campaign told me to leave that I was some "dumb little girl". I missed my hometown at that time, but my mental health issue had not totally kicked in yet.
I think as I look back is young people have no clue of how far we have come and what it took to get there. How respectful are they to their elders? I think some are. Many are not. Since, I do not have children, I would not begin to understand how to communicate with a child other than my brother's children, nephew and niece.
There is one thing I know is "LOVE"...I have learned to love myself more during this trying times. And I know I am love per the reminder of this song:
Don't give up...
Friday, August 27, 2010
My response to Frau Doktor Laura Schlessinger #Mental #Health
I was reading this blog about Frau...which was really good actually. Gave a nice anecdotal story about learning how not to be an Asshole like Frau. And while I commended her efforts on explaining why Frau is an idiot, I also stated that what Dr. Laura did to the caller was exploitation--much like a purchaser of slaves would do to see what she can drag out that savageness. It is like she said, "I will devour you Bitch and there is nothing you can do about it!" A Mary Sue Pedastalization issue or like the blogger stated "Borderline"--LOL! Now that is pretty good...I'mma use that when I deal with the Tea leavers...
I am writing this blog because my brother wanted me to write it. He wanted me to go all crazy and discuss how Dr. Laura is making Black women clinically depressed who call her @^(*&)% show on marital and relationship issues, especially when it is a interracial marriage or relationship! I am not going to do that...Not to piss my brother off, but why condone the belligerent behavior of logic fallacy ignorance spewed on the likes of Dr. Laura Borderline...Here is my list as to why I am NOT going to write about that:
- Dr. Laura is crotchety...I would not call her even for a wrong number...
- Dr. Laura is fugly...Not just in looks but also in demeanor. The days of bashing people are over. Young people these days did not have whoopins like we had back in the day. I was thinking the other day, the kiddies that cyberbully me on Twitter, they were all ADHD kids addicted to Ritalin and misdiagnoses with Autism with psychopathic anxious mothers or worse. Dr. Laura is from the old school, her grandkids probably do not see her much because it is more important for her to get her botox shots that spend time with Susie or Becky or Ashley or whatever the fuck her adult kids named their children. Hayle, I doubt her adult kids WANT to see grandma!
- Dr. Laura is not even on my radar for a mental health anything. Her degree may be in some form of radicalized psychotheraputics also know as BDSM with her ball gag and a biker hat on, but who knows what she really enjoys behind closed doors.
Okay seriously Free Speech rights...She can be and say stupid things and it is her right. If she wants to run around in her house and yell epithets till she is blue in the face, which would not be hard for her unless she like John Boehner who ignores the OOPMA LOOMPAS phone calls, then BLESS HER HEART she has a right to do it, naked if she wants in her best BDSM costume. But the minute she says it on the air, posts it on the internet, it becomes the subject of discussion and criticism by those of us who have brains. HAYLE those of us who have half a brain we have a right to respond and critically evaluate her Borderline disorder.
I do not care about how or why she would say anything to anyone, I am not psychiatrist and have yet to care. Besides as an advocate of health self-management, I am pretty stable on my medications, thank you!
What gets me is now she is skulking wanting the White Man to protect her stinky ass by appealing to them as a "patriot", tea leavers (I can uses a better term here but their psychosis is not what I want to deal with right now), deranged shrill ding bat flutists because "woe is me", she has foot and mouth disease--or she is actually "Borderline"...
Another thing from my underground days that I really need to get in touch with these folks: To the so-called kneegrow woman who called, did you really think that Dr. Laura would help you? Did you ever watch "Roots" when Kizzy was sold off by Sandy Duncan (2nd youtube 6:38 minutes)...What were you thinking? Frau would be the LAST person who I would EVER speak to regarding that issue. I mean really, devoid of her "borderline" rant she gave, fact remains if your husband is allowing a bigot in your house and you cannot speak to him about it or how it affects you, then gwirlfriend, racism is not your only problem!
Fact remains, that bigotry and racism is a probably a sociopathic mental illness. It is systemic and all that wonderful stuff. But people who dwell on it really do have brain problems. And when I say dwell, I do not mean talk about it, I mean saying racist and bigoted things knowingly that it hurts people, intentionally. It is like picking that one wound and pulling off the scab. There is no real discourse. I think that is what makes some Caucasians fearful is they do not know how far their hatred resides. If one has to ask that question, then it is too far... I say some Caucasians, because there are others who do not care. Like Eminem hangs with the brothas moreso that some brothas...Even some Caucasian woman are sticking up for Black women moreso than many a Sistah does for one another--not that I have ever experienced that myself, but that is what I heard...
Can hatred be healed? Yes and no... It takes whatever is biochemically called "epiphany" in the body to make the overriding changes. It takes so much forgiveness that your heart is moved to be better. That is why a spirituality works wonders for these things. Not to be mean, but I do not know how atheists do it, maybe they can enlighten me. Because once you have made your road to Damascus...
Anyhow, Frau will never live this down until she has that Epiphany. And if she does not, then cancer sets in. That is usually what happens to those with internal hatred...
Here's where we humans need to be:
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Montana Fishburne's choice of porn life Black Woman Image #Mental #Health
I was reading this blog about Montana Fishburne... Interesting read and I agree with most of the blogger's opinion, but some statements seemed sanctimonious. Such as: "Montana’s latest nonsense..." To Miss Montana Fishburne her upbringing is becoming apparent here for her latest behavior. Anyone can see that. It is possible that her famous father, Laurence Fishburne, had a difference of opinion of her upbringing from her mother--who we have never met... I am writing on this subject is what is said at the end of this blog that got me thinking:
Whatever is going on in her relationship with her parents, and especially her father, I hope they are able to resolve their differences in private. Montana Fishburne needs counseling: psychological counseling AND career counseling.
Otherwise, the next time we see her, it will be on Celebrity Rehab.
Again ignoring the acerbic nature of the comment, this blogger has a point: How could a young woman who had all the gifts in the world could offer due to the tireless efforts of her famous father want to squelch it to become a Porn Star?
Or to put it in more reference to those that read my blog:
Give not that which is holy to the dogs, neither cast you your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you. Matthew 7:6
But it is happened to them according to the true proverb, The dog is turned to his own vomit again; and the sow that was washed to her wallowing in the mire. 2 Peter 2:22
I am not trying to get all pious on those, far be it from me to do so with all my sufferings, but I think we who have discovered sexual exploration, then undergone sexual predatory humiliation immediately put our blinders up and want to protect those from our pains. Especially when we see someone going down a similar path like Miss Montana Fishburne.
Aside from she COULD be the exception to the rule and ACTUALLY transition from the porn industry into famous star power with fame and fortune--a first for African American woman generally speaking--we who have been sexually predated and humiliated know that the ideology she is manifesting is untrue... And there are ranges of reasons for that--just look at how black women have been treated this entire year? From Shirley Sherrod, to Fantasia Barrino, to Michelle Obama and her daughters!
No wonder Montana is already thinking if I am going to be seen as trash, may as well be trashy and at least they have that stereotype to use against me...
It is very well established that being a female porn star is about power and control. There is only one woman CEO of a porn company and she inherited it from her father - Playboy and she has had to fight her way to keep it and keep her father at the helm of the Franchise.
Miss Fishburne signed on with Vivid Corp. Notorious for the dehumanization of women. Basically riding them to the ground. Graduates of the Vivid program are old when they reach 25 years old. Who is Jenna again? She may be rich, but who wants that old mare who is not what she use to be? All for pubescent sexually deprived predators to rock their socks of with various fantastical poses...
No...Miss Fishburne does not need psychological help, but deprogramming from a cult that feels woman deserve subjugation under wife beaters. Yes, domestic violence is at play here.
But, she feels she will laugh all the way to the bank for 6 years till she is beaten down only to realize that she will go down and away like all black female porn stars have, e.g. Miss Ola Ray in Michael Jackson's Thriller...Then wind up 40+ - something only giving seminars in Las Vegas for acting courses attempting to incite her father's artistic achievements...
Fact is Black women will NEVER equate to white women in American society, including porn. Alice Walker's, "You Can't Take a Good Woman Down" short story "Coming Apart" is an illustration of the kind of consumers who purchase and consumes porn. Black finer womanhood, feminity and our Goddess image will not be made productive in Yurugu-style porn and as you can see we can not make it productive...Are you serious for a change? Or as Morpheus said: FREE YOUR MIND!!!
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Fantasia Barrino & the Pedestalizing the Penis--Her #Suicide
On Monday, August 9, 2010 Miss Fantasia Barrino the 3rd Season of American Idol Winner attempted suicide with a drug overdose due to a penis from a married man. Not to be trite and dirty about it but I have some experiences with "pedestalizing" penises from idiotic men. Desiring a man, wanting a man only to be played like a fiddle from an UNWORTHY MAN not worth my efforts to love in the beginning.
How could a very fortunate, hard working, lift herself up from her bootstraps, African American woman who appeared to be moving to a celebrity status allow herself to fall for a loser of a man. She had raw, natural talent, which allowed her to rise to the top and win a powerful contest and instant celebrity. She built herself up with the assistance of powerful cohorts, such as Quincy Jones et al. This man, no matter how attractive he was was UNWORTHY of her. Then for him to drop the bomb of marriage to another woman??? He lied to her... Even after he said to Fantasia that he no longer has love for his wife it is a LIE!
But for Fantasia to resort to overdosing on pills...
She has other mental health issues that caused her to arrive to that conclusion. 1) Low self-esteem. Poverty does that to someone. Never thinking she is worth more than what she is. Black women who grow up like this have no role models that bolster their self-esteem. It is like fitting in clothes never created with the black woman form in mind--such as Liz Claiborne...
2) Historical precedent - Fantasia was the first African American woman to win American Idol. There was pressure to at least have a Black woman rank high in the competition. But, as usual the judges choose someone with the weakest support system to win to have the self-fulfilling prophecy. Unfortunately, that was Fantasia Barrino. What I like about her is her stalwart fight against institutionalized racism. But when one does that, she allows unsavory characters into her life, such as:
3) Antwaun Cook who stated to Fantasia the following:
"He was not happy in his marriage and his heart was not in it. She believed him when he told her he and Mrs. Cook separated in the late summer of 2009. She believed Mr. Cook when he told her he lived elsewhere."
4) Fantasia wanted love by a sexy man. Antwaun was that man. For 11 months he beguiled a ruse over her sharing in her plans to never leave his wife. Very typical of a domestically violent individual. Cheating is a form of domestic violence. Domestic violence also means preying on the mentally vulnerable. Since, Fantasia was use to this kind of man, she was not able to tell until he must have told her he wanted to see how to improve his relationship with his wife due to the final signatories of a divorce decree and apparently his wife used their children as leverage to keep him.
Is his penis worth the pedestalization? HAYLE NO! WHY? And for all starlets out there, they need to be in that frame of mind! Why? Because female celebrities have assets that are valued. Men, especially unsavory men, want to take that away from a powerhouse female celebrity. Can women of this stature survive this? Well, actually many do but that is not without huge sacrifice and destruction of character. But in showbiz infamy is big business for the high stakes game of celebrity perpetuity...
But for Fantasia Barrino, this suicide attempt depending on her actions, if spun positively, she can keep it moving. But she can stay in the doldrums of infamy, and hope that her raw talent can bring her out of it. Doubtful it will for her due to her star status...
I am not going to discuss my private life here, but what I can say is I have been there, done that and got a T-shirt to rise above pedestalizing the penis. What worked for me, may not work for other women. But it did involve loving all that am, just as I am more than I can be and be the inner Goddess that is my birthright and meant to be!
Stay blessed.
Ashe' o
Akeerah...
Postscript:
After watching this...I hope she is on her way to healing. From someone with bipolar disorder: Do not forget all those who DO love you...YOU JUST DON'T KNOW THE LEAST OF THOSE ARE PULLING FOR YOU!
But yeah...This stuff eats your mind Miss Tasia...
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Issue Campaigns & #Mental #Health
My roleplaying group on Twitter was looking for new "enActors" to serve roles in our storylines, recently. Our master storyline is why would these group of powerful immigrants choose war over integrating into the society after 4000 years?
Sounds familiar???
No this story is a fictional account totally! So I was attempting to relate to the current events of today to write a fictional account to relay it to the younger generation. But they have no clue how hard people worked to give them the rights they have today. Moreover, this laziness to really tell compelling stories with a plot to suspend disbelief for a moment is difficult. That is what separates the big time authors from the short tag-team authors who could use an extra writing course--like myself...
So, during my searching, the negative opportunity dropped in front of me like a ton of bricks. It was the deceitful image of attracting men through lascivious women who were SLAVES! The passing off of a parodied slave girl to high end hard up men.
My character's mother was a slave saved by the powerful immigrants and acculturated into their culture. I have not formally written the full script to enact on Twitter, but it was my intention to do so. My character's mother was beaten with the cruelest of intentions because she rebuffed her overseer's sexually advances. It was the bludgeoning of her skin that caused these powerful immigrants to save her.
My story starts that way because it is a story written on the humiliation of women, particularly African American women who were enslaved along with men. In my own family, several women were sexually violated at the hands of slavers.
When a Twitter account is dedicated to promoting and parodying enslaved women, it is a spit into the faces of my ancestors who died to allow me to say what needs to be said about this issue. I have family members that I do not know because the women had not choices when they were raped, repeatedly at 12 years old by their slave master...
Women have been denied choices in their lives for millennia.
These days, NO woman would desire one step in the shoes of any ancestor who has suffered as a slave. It is an ugly life and desensitizes one to have hope and imagine a better life.
My main character is attempting to reconcile her behavior toward her mother's hardened life with the mess she has made of her own--dealing with her lasciviousness and her domestically violent relationship with an evil abuser. But my character would prefer to take the physical beatings that the humiliation of her stature as a "Senator" that is meant to protect Sentient Beings' rights and end slavery.
Given what is happening in the real world with the dismantling of the United States Constitution and Bill of Rights along with Amendment 14, Immigration and vitriolic hate perpetuated by paranoid people, the issue of ending slavery even in a fictional account must be supported. It is NOT fantasy and fun when some piddly pedestalized, ignorant girl thinks it is cool to perpetuate an unrealistic myth of the antebellum glory of sex slave!!!
Why? Because thoughts precede action. If people think it is "okay" to feel that way, then they will easily rationalize that they can do it. And given the number of nefarious people online, specifically Twitter, enslavement seems to be more frequent. Slavers are extremely friendly people. They trick the ignorant and young into giving private information about them and their locations eventually to violate their bodies. That is how predators do this act. Enslavement = human predation.
Fortunately for me, I am seen as mean. Thankfully that makes me not a slaver. I do not want to know some of these people. Actually, I want to be like "Morpheus" in "The Matrix" and FREE MINDS!!!
But I get so much social media backlash in doing just that it make me wonder what has happened. Because when the reality sets in and the dust settles, it is then that they realize how much more of their time could have spent on research and bolstering their stories than to fight with the one person trying to teach them something... Teach them so that they can learn on their own...
Education is not about making folks comfortable to "sell" an idea in like that seen in marketing. REAL education combines knowledge and experience. I have both. So when these things happen to me, I turn them into my stories and I write.
I have been attacked personally rather than on subject. The logic fallacies are beyond me. I do know that every day more and more the mental health professional are suggesting that this cyberbullying issue is caused by a sociopath who lacks the healthy concept of defined barriers on the internet.
Short story: I give those who are interested an education and I help develop comfortable barriers, rather than attacking individuals armed with misinformation and belittling.
This is what I do and often I am right... What I say might take awhile, but rarely am I wrong, especially when I do know something is right. I am resolute!
Sounds familiar???
No this story is a fictional account totally! So I was attempting to relate to the current events of today to write a fictional account to relay it to the younger generation. But they have no clue how hard people worked to give them the rights they have today. Moreover, this laziness to really tell compelling stories with a plot to suspend disbelief for a moment is difficult. That is what separates the big time authors from the short tag-team authors who could use an extra writing course--like myself...
So, during my searching, the negative opportunity dropped in front of me like a ton of bricks. It was the deceitful image of attracting men through lascivious women who were SLAVES! The passing off of a parodied slave girl to high end hard up men.
My character's mother was a slave saved by the powerful immigrants and acculturated into their culture. I have not formally written the full script to enact on Twitter, but it was my intention to do so. My character's mother was beaten with the cruelest of intentions because she rebuffed her overseer's sexually advances. It was the bludgeoning of her skin that caused these powerful immigrants to save her.
My story starts that way because it is a story written on the humiliation of women, particularly African American women who were enslaved along with men. In my own family, several women were sexually violated at the hands of slavers.
When a Twitter account is dedicated to promoting and parodying enslaved women, it is a spit into the faces of my ancestors who died to allow me to say what needs to be said about this issue. I have family members that I do not know because the women had not choices when they were raped, repeatedly at 12 years old by their slave master...
Women have been denied choices in their lives for millennia.
These days, NO woman would desire one step in the shoes of any ancestor who has suffered as a slave. It is an ugly life and desensitizes one to have hope and imagine a better life.
My main character is attempting to reconcile her behavior toward her mother's hardened life with the mess she has made of her own--dealing with her lasciviousness and her domestically violent relationship with an evil abuser. But my character would prefer to take the physical beatings that the humiliation of her stature as a "Senator" that is meant to protect Sentient Beings' rights and end slavery.
Given what is happening in the real world with the dismantling of the United States Constitution and Bill of Rights along with Amendment 14, Immigration and vitriolic hate perpetuated by paranoid people, the issue of ending slavery even in a fictional account must be supported. It is NOT fantasy and fun when some piddly pedestalized, ignorant girl thinks it is cool to perpetuate an unrealistic myth of the antebellum glory of sex slave!!!
Why? Because thoughts precede action. If people think it is "okay" to feel that way, then they will easily rationalize that they can do it. And given the number of nefarious people online, specifically Twitter, enslavement seems to be more frequent. Slavers are extremely friendly people. They trick the ignorant and young into giving private information about them and their locations eventually to violate their bodies. That is how predators do this act. Enslavement = human predation.
Fortunately for me, I am seen as mean. Thankfully that makes me not a slaver. I do not want to know some of these people. Actually, I want to be like "Morpheus" in "The Matrix" and FREE MINDS!!!
But I get so much social media backlash in doing just that it make me wonder what has happened. Because when the reality sets in and the dust settles, it is then that they realize how much more of their time could have spent on research and bolstering their stories than to fight with the one person trying to teach them something... Teach them so that they can learn on their own...
Education is not about making folks comfortable to "sell" an idea in like that seen in marketing. REAL education combines knowledge and experience. I have both. So when these things happen to me, I turn them into my stories and I write.
I have been attacked personally rather than on subject. The logic fallacies are beyond me. I do know that every day more and more the mental health professional are suggesting that this cyberbullying issue is caused by a sociopath who lacks the healthy concept of defined barriers on the internet.
Short story: I give those who are interested an education and I help develop comfortable barriers, rather than attacking individuals armed with misinformation and belittling.
This is what I do and often I am right... What I say might take awhile, but rarely am I wrong, especially when I do know something is right. I am resolute!
Monday, July 26, 2010
#ALOHA Mahalo Black Women, Eating Disorders & Racism
Thanks to Miss @Jazzzyone sharing this SURVEY on her blog of a research study whose purpose to recognize the experiences of this population, so as to inform theory which influences psychological counseling services and the training of clinicians.
I have been trained for Clinical Trials, so I know a few things on how they are done. My research in the past has been focused on human chronic disease, such as cardiovascular, aging, diabetes and cancer. When my paper that found that premature aging mice developed diet induced diabetes and was told that no one will read my paper by my lead professor and just a general Google search yielded EIGHT researchers have published papers citing my paper, I think I do have something significant to say on any research study...
Why? Because my paper was published in a 3rd tier journal--NO ONE CITES a 3rd tier paper EIGHT times... That means I ought to have gone for 2nd tier if I had more support.
BREATHE!!! I left research for that reason, alone... I got sick of my ideas, efforts and abilities being squashed. My entire graduate school career was fraught with blood, sweat and tears and I was no longer having any more fun!
So after Jazzzy's blog she asks some really good questions and my answers are mixed there in and my comments are on her blog, also.
Thanks for the link to the online survey. I have taken the survey and shared it on my FB groups and will be encouraging others to take it.
What do you think of the idea of this research study?: My initial review is I hope they get relevant data for the power number they seek in this clinical evaluation. I do not think they will without a huge marketing support system and people understanding why it is important to determine some things.
Do you plan on participating?: Like I said, I participated because I support all research in understanding why it is what we do and know that it is not solely due to bigotry and racism. That is not enough to define a social determinant to health.
What do you expect to be in the findings?: There will be outliers, how significant I do not know. Regionally there will be differences, especially if they are collecting IP addresses as a current locale to triangulate differences. That is a hint to them because some of the questions - like stating "skin complexion" there will be misnomer effects depending on region.
Is there a connection between racism & Black women’s eating habits and body image? Yes and no. Yes, because of socialization. No because of survival. A nurture, nature thing. Most of the Black Women I know do try to eat healthy. Probably because I am older. Teenagers and young adults under 25 generally do not know what healthy eating looks like if they have not be reared to understand it. So of course they are going to engage in unhealthy eating habits like eating potato chips for the entire week, even though they know salad is healthy to make. Is that due to bigotry for Black women? I think the impact of this study is the misnomer that Black Women do not have eating disorders when it is clinical apparent they do. There is huge amounts of data from the ER of Black Women coming in after a binging and purging cycle and there is organ failure or heart damage. And when asked how come they did not seek mental health care for their problem, it usually the off-putting they are getting from the clinician because the clinician fails to see the signs in Black Women. So...what are the signs of a eating disorder in black women and is it due to racism?
If you’re a Black woman, have you noticed a connection between your feelings of stress, anxiety, anger and loneliness and your eating habits?: Most definitely!
Can this research shed some light on the chasm between Black women and between Black women and Black men?: No. I found those questions on the survey too broad to find any medians that can be drawn from the study. Besides based on those studies that is a "sociological question" than a "psychological question".
What’s the one misconception about you or Black women in general that you would like to eliminate or clarify?: On eating disorders--Black women have them just like any other woman that has them. To what extent remains to be determined. I know personally a few binge/purgers more than I know anorexics. I know a few Black Women anorexics that do not look like ones. There is also the predispositions to several chronic illnesses, such a cancer, heart disease and diabetes that Black women are a high risk group. Is it due to the social determinants of health or is it due to a more organic biological issue - i.e. a shift in the body to use insulin in the case of diabetes? I don't know? Either way, I think that needs to be determined.
If you’ve completed the survey, wanna share some of your responses/reactions?: It is a good start. I have not seen the kinds of publicity for this clinical study compared to others. I have seen openness in the trial and the willingness to share. And when I see some of the questions, while I can recognized the overall intent, there is still a cultural incompetency to the question design. Who is the demographic they are trying to reach? Educated or all African Americans? I did not see a clear demarcation between psychological questions and sociological questions? The issue is called data "bias" and "equipose"- once the data is obtained and tabulated will the results be skewed to fit the original hypothesis? We know the purpose of the study, but the general public will not know what the hypothesis is until a "brief synopsis" is published. I can tell you what they are attempting though based on the cursory information - basically telling clinicians what to look for in Black Women Eating Disorders. I wish them the best of luck on that, but I think they will have to use some multivariate statistics to "fit" the hypothesis.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Humbled: Okey 1 reason why I kinna like #Seattle
Volunteerism is a BIG thing in Seattle. I have received so much training in VARIOUS areas that needed volunteer.
University of Washington Future Faculty Fellow
United Way Project LEAD Board Leadership Training Program
Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure and African American Women Breast Health Collaborative
Organizing for America - Western Washington Division
Evergreen Hospice
Group Health Cooperative
The ones I paid for are through:
Washington Business Center and Black Dollar Days Task Force
Biznik
Ladies Who Launch - Seattle
Count Me In
I have done ALL of these training programs just out of my own interest and business knowledge.
I do not think a wealth of resources would be available in any other city. Of course, I am a very resourceful person so I pretty much find what accepts me to receive the information.
But then nothing has panned out or flipped to a monetary aspect for something I would really want to do for a livelihood. There were issues of getting accurate information which causes me anxiety. Part of the reason I started my business, The Ariafya Universe is because I got sick of complaining why mental health and wellness resources failed to be found or do not exist for African American females. And in the guise of injustice and racism that do affect African American women...
But today, I attended an event for one of the groups I volunteer for and it HUMBLED me from my mental health issues.
It had to do with "death"...
I have always had a problem with understanding dying and death. At 3 years old I attended a funeral. Just images these days. It was for an Uncle. I did not understand what happened. My mother could not explain it to me because it did not make sense to her, too. OF COURSE THIS IS NOT ABOUT MY MOTHER!!! It is about me and how I have a problem understanding the concept of dying and death.
As a teenager, when my mental illness kicked in, I wanted to kill myself--yes, commit suicide and I actually attempted many times in my teen and early 20's. Being resourceful though, I found a way to get my mental health back for me... I taught myself that I needed more than medication, I also needed therapy and therapy was better for me one on one. Then I had to learn how to choose a therapist, which is a bad thing to do. After wanting to die, I still had a problem understanding the concept of dying and death even after two close family members died.
Life changes during its course and as it so happened, I became a volunteer for the group that directly deals with this. In their training there was an exercise they had us go through where we right all the important things, peoples, places, dreams in our lives. Then through no fault on our own, a heinous disease snuffs everything and we had to choose which of those sheets we would remove. Slowly as we threw away our important snippets of our lives, I realized we have NO choice in death. Death just comes and it is what we do to make that difference in birth to death. Spiritual beliefs are a good thing, but fact is death is inevitable and there is a world that deals with the bereavement.
The event today showed me how much a lost loved one's life means to people. They had their loved one's pictures posted...All these people that we once loved in real life!!! Makes one wish they could have loved them, too. And it was all different ages, types, males and females, happy times, sad times and the clothing many casual, some formally dressed. Many had smiles. But these people LIVED!
As a research scientist I have to ask: How does a body die, naturally at the molecular level? That is my thoughts these days...
But sharing with the bereaved whose loved ones have died is a grieving natural process to and everyone will go through it at sometime in their lives and everything will die.
I guess anywhere to learn that lesson is Seattle and maybe that is the point of why I am here...Maybe it could be one of the reasons why I stay and could like it...
University of Washington Future Faculty Fellow
United Way Project LEAD Board Leadership Training Program
Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure and African American Women Breast Health Collaborative
Organizing for America - Western Washington Division
Evergreen Hospice
Group Health Cooperative
The ones I paid for are through:
Washington Business Center and Black Dollar Days Task Force
Biznik
Ladies Who Launch - Seattle
Count Me In
I have done ALL of these training programs just out of my own interest and business knowledge.
I do not think a wealth of resources would be available in any other city. Of course, I am a very resourceful person so I pretty much find what accepts me to receive the information.
But then nothing has panned out or flipped to a monetary aspect for something I would really want to do for a livelihood. There were issues of getting accurate information which causes me anxiety. Part of the reason I started my business, The Ariafya Universe is because I got sick of complaining why mental health and wellness resources failed to be found or do not exist for African American females. And in the guise of injustice and racism that do affect African American women...
But today, I attended an event for one of the groups I volunteer for and it HUMBLED me from my mental health issues.
It had to do with "death"...
I have always had a problem with understanding dying and death. At 3 years old I attended a funeral. Just images these days. It was for an Uncle. I did not understand what happened. My mother could not explain it to me because it did not make sense to her, too. OF COURSE THIS IS NOT ABOUT MY MOTHER!!! It is about me and how I have a problem understanding the concept of dying and death.
As a teenager, when my mental illness kicked in, I wanted to kill myself--yes, commit suicide and I actually attempted many times in my teen and early 20's. Being resourceful though, I found a way to get my mental health back for me... I taught myself that I needed more than medication, I also needed therapy and therapy was better for me one on one. Then I had to learn how to choose a therapist, which is a bad thing to do. After wanting to die, I still had a problem understanding the concept of dying and death even after two close family members died.
Life changes during its course and as it so happened, I became a volunteer for the group that directly deals with this. In their training there was an exercise they had us go through where we right all the important things, peoples, places, dreams in our lives. Then through no fault on our own, a heinous disease snuffs everything and we had to choose which of those sheets we would remove. Slowly as we threw away our important snippets of our lives, I realized we have NO choice in death. Death just comes and it is what we do to make that difference in birth to death. Spiritual beliefs are a good thing, but fact is death is inevitable and there is a world that deals with the bereavement.
The event today showed me how much a lost loved one's life means to people. They had their loved one's pictures posted...All these people that we once loved in real life!!! Makes one wish they could have loved them, too. And it was all different ages, types, males and females, happy times, sad times and the clothing many casual, some formally dressed. Many had smiles. But these people LIVED!
As a research scientist I have to ask: How does a body die, naturally at the molecular level? That is my thoughts these days...
But sharing with the bereaved whose loved ones have died is a grieving natural process to and everyone will go through it at sometime in their lives and everything will die.
I guess anywhere to learn that lesson is Seattle and maybe that is the point of why I am here...Maybe it could be one of the reasons why I stay and could like it...
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Why Black Women Don't Get Out & Exercise! #TJ sux #Mental #Health
THIS BLOG POST IS NOT A BASH ON THE SISTAHS!!! THIS BLOG POST IS NOT PROVING ANY PHYSICAL FITNESS AND/OR HEALTH CONCERNS THAT PLAGUE AFRICAN AMERICAN WOMEN!!! THIS BLOG POST IS ABOUT ME AND WHAT I GO THROUGH TO MAINTAIN MY PHYSICAL FITNESS AND STAY SANE!!!
Upon some cursory research for this article because most people who read my blog posts like pictures, I have to see this:
There is a problem with the "search keyword context" that Google uses...
I need to see this:
But when I exercise like the above where I live, I feel this:
See I live in a less diverse community where there is a lot of privilege and no exposure to various types of people. There is a wealth of many things, but a dearth of compassion for those less fortunate.
This was obvious to me when I decided to get out on a relatively nice day and WALK to buy my groceries versus drive. I was SO looking forward to it. I made my grocery list with health food options, such as lettuce, portabella mushrooms, carrot shreads and my vegetarian options--oh yeah, I'm a vegetarian for over 15 years!!!
I had calculated what I can spend in our household bank account. The internet was friendly for me today! And I budgeted the maximum I could spend on essential healthy items. I chose the store...a small chain of organics, diverse foods with the initials "TJ"... Yeah...It is like that. And I dressed in a nice workout outfit with earrings on so I avoid being accosted by law enforcement because there is such a thing as "Walking while Black"...
It was a busy day everywhere. Traffic was bad, the workers were re-striping the roads. And the traffic officer was doing his job. Nevertheless I was walking, so it did not matter! I even passed by another pedestrian who was so joyful that she could get out an walk! That brightened my day!
I got to TJ a bit harried, but in short time and it is like folks do not shop with a list problem! Going every which way, hogging up the aisles, not watching their kids, clueless. But I take that as a lesson in mindfulness these days and started to let that idiocy go and be about what I need.
Then TJ has the audacity to charge lunacy for the food they sale...Mind you 6 months ago, their pastries had fungus and I did not outright bust their assets by alerting Public Health. I should have but then what would that make me... Sales is not their thing. Gourmet-ness is. I do not see the better deal. But who cares? Right?
I choose not to use a cart or a basket because I have my "reusable" bags:
When I get out to the checkout like
How can I prove this? My nearly $50 grocery bill on 13 items says so...and I have all the information I need...The receipt has everything and I will show redacted parts here:
This situation is the usual for me when I shop for groceries in where I live. I am treated like the obese woman eating the chicken wings in the first picture. When I pretty much look like the women jogging in the second picture. Internally, my soul feels like my ancestors who faced lynching in the third picture. All of that makes me agoraphobic. Why get out there and take care of myself when I am going to be berated in the manner I was by this company and its insensitive human resource and hiring practices?
Who wants to shop where they are not wanted, put down when the only color that needs to be concerned about is "green". Now I like the brands of food I buy from that company, but it takes a very long time for me to recover from ignorance like that. What makes it hard is when I run out of those brands, more often than not, they have not re-stocked them and I am unable to purchase them. It is a total lack and disregard for the customer. It is as if this company thinks that people will purchase our food and we can treat them shitty because we are unique. Meanwhile other grocers are getting "hip" to the idea and to compete, they offer another option. But the level of service is piss poor in where I live overall. No pride in the jobs that they do...
Once there was when they grocers had remodeled and the "top brass" was watching and boy were they helpful! But that has been my ONLY experience!
Where I live wants to proclaim all this "liberalism" but really it is a "long wolf in sheep's clothing". I oddly had an interesting conversation with a State Senatorial Candidate who is a Republican and I might just vote for him because he stopped by and talked to me. But needless to say I have strange-bedfellows where I live and it is really hard to know who is an idiot bigot or not.
Here are the facts though: In my area, Black women have the worse health outcomes for the populations to be so small and they are similar to the health outcomes of Black women in somewhere like Atlanta, Georgia.
Obesity is one factor...
Exercise options are diverse here. So "getting exercise" is not the issue. Laziness is as a significant issue as one would initially think. But a social determinant of health with racial injustice combined with a mental health issue--IS THE ISSUE!
Why go out when I am being harassed, where I am labeled, could be arrested, essentially lynched and suffer humiliation and imprisonment just on the basis of my looks? And response is everything...Given what happens to Black Women in Seattle overall...it does not matter what we say...
Another reason why I hate Seattle...
Upon some cursory research for this article because most people who read my blog posts like pictures, I have to see this:
There is a problem with the "search keyword context" that Google uses...
I need to see this:
But when I exercise like the above where I live, I feel this:
See I live in a less diverse community where there is a lot of privilege and no exposure to various types of people. There is a wealth of many things, but a dearth of compassion for those less fortunate.
This was obvious to me when I decided to get out on a relatively nice day and WALK to buy my groceries versus drive. I was SO looking forward to it. I made my grocery list with health food options, such as lettuce, portabella mushrooms, carrot shreads and my vegetarian options--oh yeah, I'm a vegetarian for over 15 years!!!
I had calculated what I can spend in our household bank account. The internet was friendly for me today! And I budgeted the maximum I could spend on essential healthy items. I chose the store...a small chain of organics, diverse foods with the initials "TJ"... Yeah...It is like that. And I dressed in a nice workout outfit with earrings on so I avoid being accosted by law enforcement because there is such a thing as "Walking while Black"...
It was a busy day everywhere. Traffic was bad, the workers were re-striping the roads. And the traffic officer was doing his job. Nevertheless I was walking, so it did not matter! I even passed by another pedestrian who was so joyful that she could get out an walk! That brightened my day!
I got to TJ a bit harried, but in short time and it is like folks do not shop with a list problem! Going every which way, hogging up the aisles, not watching their kids, clueless. But I take that as a lesson in mindfulness these days and started to let that idiocy go and be about what I need.
Then TJ has the audacity to charge lunacy for the food they sale...Mind you 6 months ago, their pastries had fungus and I did not outright bust their assets by alerting Public Health. I should have but then what would that make me... Sales is not their thing. Gourmet-ness is. I do not see the better deal. But who cares? Right?
I choose not to use a cart or a basket because I have my "reusable" bags:
When I get out to the checkout like
- The cashier BARELY acknowledges my existence and is running her mouth to her other person about a situation irrelevant to me, the customer... Her focus LACKS me. I am only there to give her company money, because I DOUBT that what I pay, the hard earned money barely goes to her paycheck. So really, TJ is taking a loss on a piss-poor employee that leaves customers unhappy...Basically FUX CRM...
- They consolidate my groceries into 1 bag. Yes, I needed to say something, but I did not in the essence of time and I really did not feel like rationalizing with idiots who did not acknowledge me. No, what I do now...is I broadcast that on all Social Media Networks...to let folks know this lunacy goes on, this lunacy happens and that this is the piss poor customer service that his particular store provides as a "placeholder" because I doubt I am the first customer who has experienced this...
How can I prove this? My nearly $50 grocery bill on 13 items says so...and I have all the information I need...The receipt has everything and I will show redacted parts here:
This situation is the usual for me when I shop for groceries in where I live. I am treated like the obese woman eating the chicken wings in the first picture. When I pretty much look like the women jogging in the second picture. Internally, my soul feels like my ancestors who faced lynching in the third picture. All of that makes me agoraphobic. Why get out there and take care of myself when I am going to be berated in the manner I was by this company and its insensitive human resource and hiring practices?
Who wants to shop where they are not wanted, put down when the only color that needs to be concerned about is "green". Now I like the brands of food I buy from that company, but it takes a very long time for me to recover from ignorance like that. What makes it hard is when I run out of those brands, more often than not, they have not re-stocked them and I am unable to purchase them. It is a total lack and disregard for the customer. It is as if this company thinks that people will purchase our food and we can treat them shitty because we are unique. Meanwhile other grocers are getting "hip" to the idea and to compete, they offer another option. But the level of service is piss poor in where I live overall. No pride in the jobs that they do...
Once there was when they grocers had remodeled and the "top brass" was watching and boy were they helpful! But that has been my ONLY experience!
Where I live wants to proclaim all this "liberalism" but really it is a "long wolf in sheep's clothing". I oddly had an interesting conversation with a State Senatorial Candidate who is a Republican and I might just vote for him because he stopped by and talked to me. But needless to say I have strange-bedfellows where I live and it is really hard to know who is an idiot bigot or not.
Here are the facts though: In my area, Black women have the worse health outcomes for the populations to be so small and they are similar to the health outcomes of Black women in somewhere like Atlanta, Georgia.
Obesity is one factor...
Exercise options are diverse here. So "getting exercise" is not the issue. Laziness is as a significant issue as one would initially think. But a social determinant of health with racial injustice combined with a mental health issue--IS THE ISSUE!
Why go out when I am being harassed, where I am labeled, could be arrested, essentially lynched and suffer humiliation and imprisonment just on the basis of my looks? And response is everything...Given what happens to Black Women in Seattle overall...it does not matter what we say...
Another reason why I hate Seattle...
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